Sore. Throat. And.

“It's another to be looking over my shoulder for the next twenty years, knowing someone else would have done it better... someone else would have done it right.”

I remember sometime around first year, I wrote something about not being enough, right after deep childish introspection to these lines. From then to now, the doubts and questions would arise and get tended wonderfully. Always with the assurance that I bring what I must, what I should. 

Knowing someone else would have done it better, I could not be more grateful for the moons and stars all over the dungeon.

Speaking of moons and stars, there was a clear sky today, without going too much into true false assertions and meanderings, yes there was, after about four days. Leaving the weather forecast aside, it is the 22^nd of August.

Aunty's birthday it is. The woman I have admired all through the past 9 years. Here is to her and the Romeo and Juliet lessons of eighth standard when I thought I knew it all. Today, when the baby sister is still a baby in class eight, I realize that I really over estimated myself back then. Over estimation has always been a theme though.

Dear reader, yes there is no point to this post. I am rambling nonsense because I have nothing else to do. Joblessness you see. Joblessnes. The precap to what would follow a year from now.

Enough baseless nonsense for a day? Well yes I guess so. So you can go back and continue with yourself. You were wrong when you thought this might bring in some posimism (yes that word is self created).

Or you can just play this on loop

  

I will go down with this ship

The acting could not get worse 

The song could not be more perfect

"Janta hoon tumhe sahare ki zarurat nahi
Main sirf saath dene aaya hoon"

Sappiness or gloom. THIS!

=]

Happy Birthday JKR!

Seven books, eight movies and an amazing childhood.

Book One, Movie first, I fell in love once

Then the saga continued with twists and turns and new releases and then came
Book Seven, no movie and I fell in love all over again

Yes the dreamscape bit has been disappointing but that does not take away all that it offered.

The endless reading on the stairs, in the dark, right before half yearly. I wondered WHY they had the book releases right before some exam :D
And long discussions of how they have chucked major portions in the movies.

Today happens to be Harry's birthday too. So Hogwarts sessions start in next few days. I have wished all my life for an owl with a letter this time around.

"Until the very end"

^_^

I love you

When The Stars Go Blue

Caged Dove

“So what can you do for me?

What can you leave?”

“Anything you say my dear,

I aim to please”

“Cut down your wings would you?

Your freedom I demand”

“With pleasure I would

Your wish is my command”

“Stop bringing your songs to me

Your likes, dislikes, stories and rhymes”

“As you like it my mistress

For you, over a thousand times”

“I am not pleased yet

Your blind submission I need”

“All you get is all of me

I follow you lead”

And that would be

A story of love

Of a known dove

The story of love

Of a caged dove

-Abhishikta

Demanding and demanding more
Wanting and wanting more
Wishing and wishing more
Expecting and expecting more
Hoping and hoping more

Nevermind all of that.

 LOOK at this man

Starry eyed?
Drooling?
I am *_*

With the constant rerun after rerun of the same depressing (with all due respect) news that Maa watches on 'Aaj Tak' about Uttarakhand and the all so more depressing evening training all week at one end of the world, LOOK at this man!

Or may be this

Amazed?
Little less heavy?
I was.

And then you meet friends with their sad times. And they curse the dogs and go on about how the dog world runs. The before and after transitions, the know whats and know hows and everything that is pessimistic. How everything starts and everything ends and you are supposed to add 'too' to the dog theory and nod and not laugh and definitely not doubt. Doubt what and why and whom if you are wondering, I was wondering too.

You can also become jobless and ponder about a certain dialogue of a certain movie

Questioning?
Wondering?
Same pinch.

But  then there are full moons and Kolkata monsoons to lift up the spirit. How I love the monsoons with all the skin ointments that it brings these days. There are also weekend wonder classes where the ugly teacher suddenly looks oh so hot to the childhood friend. People are just weird.

So you can finally come home and you find CID going on

Seen?
Trolled?

Oh! You can also be happy about the price of gold. The price of gold has reduced by a fair margin and my mother looks very happy. Absolute comic events follow my home with the rise and fall of the price of gold as Maa wonders away how will I get married when and if I get married. Yes. Laugh :D

But with all of that, these also is

Demanding and demanding more
Wanting and wanting more
Wishing and wishing more
Expecting and expecting more
Hoping and hoping more

But,
Nevermind all of that.

Of Possession and Loss. The Stalker Song Eh!

Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay

I woke up today to very dark clouds bottling the sky by the bedside and smiled. Smiled because the last thought that occurred before the heavy night consumed me yesterday was how things might not be the same. How newness can cast away the old. How everything returns back in many fold, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Yes when you are up there from the ground, not on your feet, swept above. Feel free to trust. And then if you fall, come blame me for I shall blame myself too. Yet the rain comes off and on. Marks two extremes. Happiness? Sadness? Nothingness would rather be the answer. Till next time? Sometime soon?
I woke up today to very dark cloud bottling the sky over my city and smiled. Smiled because there are certain things that would never change. And then it rained.

“Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" -- Dobby (HBP23)

Socks!
That is all that there is to the freedom.
Dobyy gets to be a free elf.
An elf nonetheless but.

Free.
And he selects his new master.
To lose his freedom again.
Happily?
Merrily?

“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

So year fourth finally, almost that is.

This semester was extremely exhausting with the excessive number of subjects and bad subjects and Kolkata summer to add on to the woes. There were ends that required attending, there were situations that made me feel THIS small, there were also moments which have become and would remain to be extremely fond forever.

While there was a blanket that I loved, there also was a very bright sun which brought new guilt every morning. And although this sounds like an achiever’s speech after conquering Mount Everest about all the little hurdles and helps, this actually is not. I have made up my mind on decreasing the levels of self pity so no more elaboration on this.

I regret closing all my doors and windows before an exam while the world went all pretty with rains and intervals and rains and all pleasant all around. There were storms and the beautiful nameless tree by the window side swinging happily and noisily. And I, being the epitome of morkot-ness, closed my window, switched on the fans and studied. Yes you read that RIGHT. And even after all of that... achha I did say no more elaboration.

Off I go on a weekend trip and thus people can finally have their moments of peace and sleep well and continue with the happy times for the rest of their lives, if I don’t return after all. Ah! Never mind that, this is the song that played on loop yesterday all throughout OR preparation and with what started as a ‘ki-shundur-gaan’ has become my song of depression. Suno.

Tada

Happiness is a molten chocolate

"...when a hopeless situation suddenly looks good"- Meredith

Exam times can make one do weird things and notice weirder things.

A book, a fat red book which teaches us the ABCD of Operating System is the sole motivation of this post today. Nerd alert?

So as I was saying, all those CSE students who did not care to buy the WBUT OS book and finally chose to slog through the otherwise ‘best’ book from library, sincerely do not have  all the lack in life to read the first and I mean the very FIRST page of an otherwise FAT red book.

So I am doing them a favour by bringing this to their notice. Uhm, okay, did I sound like the next big thing whose blog is worshipped worldwide? Reality Check?

 Ah! Okay. The first page is basically the acknowledgement page by the three authors. What is interesting about them is the way they went on with the customary thank you and thus obviously amused and entertained me and wasted my time and will waste your next few minutes. They wrote:

“To my children, Lemor, Sivan, and Aaron

And my Nicolette”

-Avil Silberschatz

And this man instantly is my favourite. He calls his wife ‘my Nicolette’. My fairytale saga gets a bit of reality dust in bits and pieces and I smile a happy smile. He remembers his children first and then his better half and thus is a wonderful father and a loving husband too. He is the Mr. Colour for me.

“To my wife, Carla,

And my children, Gwen, Owen, and Maddie”

Peter Baer Galvin

So this author seemed like a typical working class man and I have nothing specific to say. He seemed like a responsible family man, boring at times but sweet nonetheless. He remembers his wife first which a nice thing too. So I would rather tag him, the Mr. Black and White.

“To my wife, Pat,

And our sons, Tom and Jay”

-GregGagne

With this man, I have issues. Okay he did the basic the-mother-of-my-child-comes-before-him stunt by mentioning the wife before his children but what I did not like was the use of “sons”. I might just be super mean and hyper but this man seemed like a chauvinist who is extremely proud of the production of the rare breed of sons in the world of too many daughters. I would not even give him any colour.

So yes, I am done with this post. I was my judgemental best and if you BEG to differ please keep it to yourself. My book, my blog, my version.  How I interpret is how I interpret.

Thank You.

Mehfuz Har Kadam Karna Aye Khuda

So here is the plan.

Beg, borrow, steal a 500 ka note.

Take a train to Amritsar.

Live it off on Langar.

Hence, porashona can go down the drains.

Bas!

My future is set.

I will not die out of starvation.

Ever.

Thank God for Golden Temple and free food.

Ting Ting Titing!

The beginning of an end

Mothers' day and their 25th and wonder rains and well lets drop the sad tales for today. And as the little birdie says

All the best everyone.

May I freak less out =P

To THE Two I Hardly Know :)

You would still be mine,

When my days would mark your nights,

And my nights would be cold.

When distance would speak

Of the stories untold.

                When you leave as you may,

                While the monsoons strike and stay,

                I would cherish the memories you gladly sold.

                The songs that you now find old.

So fare well my love,

Find your star and let dreams unfold.

And miles away as I would long,

Your forever known hands to hold,

You would still be mine.

Dariburo :)

And the favorite continues to be purano shei diner kotha. Now and always. How difficult your stories are how wonderful the lyrics are. 

To the days gone by when pochishe boishakhs meant chondon and mishti packets and club and functions and para gossip..

Shubho Jonmodin!

One long hour into Google Translator and ami naki CSE pori and such waste of time :|

পাখি তোমার সঙ্গে যাব
পাখি তোমার সঙ্গে যাব
পাখি তোমার সঙ্গে প্রেমগভীর

দিন বদল-এর আশা  ভুলে
জল ছাপিয়ে এই দু কুল-এ
পাখি তোমার সঙ্গে  স্বপ্ননীর

পাখি তোমার সঙ্গে যাব
পাখি তোমার সঙ্গে যাব
পাখি তোমার সঙ্গে শান্তি স্থির

थोड़ा है थोड़े की ज़रूरत है ज़िंदगी फिर भी यहाँ खूबसूरत है

!

You would know that exams are here when you suddenly have all the time to realize after all these years that the fan of your room has four blades while the rest of the them all around the house have three!

So there has been a lot going on. And a lot going on.

Firstly there are SIX subjects this time. WHY?
And also I intend to freak out less this time and stop blaming it on people for every could be and would be.
There would be a detailed post sometime soon when I am genuinely frustrated enough with semester this time. Right now, I am plain happy. Touchwood.

Sir says
"porikkhar age ekta porikkha nie blog na korle kintu amio paash korbo na "

So here!

Someday I plan to write text books for WBUT students which would exactly match the standards of the ones we study this time. Seriously! We actually have a DBMS book of 130 pages which explains nothing but has been sold off like hot cakes.

There is a poem that needs to be posted. There are things and there are things. So the semester needs to end. END. And also, we tend to have the bitch-est-est faculty this time with open promises of screwing the practical and internal marks. SO, enough said about the semester to be.

In the mean time, lend your ear jonogon to this!

Let the Bad Times Roll While I Close the Curtains and Shut Out the Day

"... if Alok makes it through this , I will write a book about our crazy days. I really will."

I have probably read and reread and recited this particular line from Five Point Someone a million times in the last few days. I wonder if one really makes such promises during such tough times. Okay! Alok was dying and definitely the times were tougher .


"... if Alok makes it through this , I will write a book about our crazy days. I really will."

These things happen in movies. These things happen in books by Indian authors trying the I-had-a-cool-college-life trick. Do we, as in WE, not have a lot many things to worry about already? A wonderful graded college, wonderful rank, wonderful chairman,wonderful placements and THIS. How wonderful can things be.

"... if Alok makes it through this , I will write a book about our crazy days. I really will."

Ah! Nevermind

And this is so out of context! 

If you thought they actually showed the reality when ‘Ranbir Kapoor’ and ‘Kankana SenSharma’ had a ball while redesigning and setting up the apartment in ‘Wake Up Sid’, you are absolutely wrong.

The entire process is utterly tiresome accompanied by the off and on backchats with Mom regarding how careless you are and how less you work for the house and the people. Well I should also mention that the process might take away your twelve year old ‘Cross’ that you have grown up praying to. Your face wash and shampoo can disappear just like that and suddenly the windows and doors would start to reflect color that you have forever hated.

It would take you a LOT of ‘lyad' overcoming toxic dose to try and get the room back into its original shape. Finally just when you would start to think that the nightmare is over, Bazinga! The same mess would be seen all over the house. At times you would reconsider the color blindness test for the deciders but then, you would already be so tired with everything that the coverless bed having a coil burnt fan right above would seem like heaven. Crash.

But the whole point is that there are no pizza party and splashing of colors involved in the process like they showed in the movie. Also, you are NOT allowed to put back those neon stars back to the ceiling like they were before the entire hoopla. You are also not allowed to stick the posters back to the walls. ‘No Cello tapes’ Aunty Acid would tell you and you would be too irritated for rebellion. In just a day, the hut, ‘Shreedhar Acharya’ formula, names and all the childhood tidbits on the walls would vanish.

The newly painted room and disorganized stuff all over can also make you write such shit.
While. Smiling wide with you. And 

Disclaimer:
1. I owe no explanation to anyone
2.If this post makes no sense to you, you have a wonderful life. Congratulations.
3. If this post makes sense to you, *highfive*
4.If this post offends you, I am genuinely not sorry.

You would know that summers are here when everyone around is on a temper trip through the heated lanes back and forth.

Incident 1:

Grey runs towards the painter to charge for injustice, fully aware of the fact that free will of the painter cannot be questioned. Grey does not care. All that Grey knows is the fact that nobody uses Grey to color dominance. The world looked at this new shade of Grey with disbelief and Grey knows it well but Grey’s pride has been tickled and that is all that was prominent amidst the self made rules of not losing cool. And at that moment, consequences adamantly ceased to matter.
AND
Boom!

Incident 2:

Dinner asked Brunch if some help can be expected and Brunch declined. There were Breakfast and Lunch who required answers and explanations from Brunch and selecting or helping Dinner was out of the known lines. Dinner has the midnight snack as guide and together they blamed Brunch out and out. Dinner expected friendship and Brunch could not invite troubled waters. Nobody understood the point of the other and voids filled with cold radiance.
AND
 Boom!

Incident 3:

Tyson placed ice on top of fire. Ice started to melt and fire started fuming. Fire demanded explanations and ice obstinately declined any. Fire let out sparks which affected the little large ego of ice. Earth stopped for a moment as ice started to fume away as well. The fumes met to cause discomfort. Tyson let out a suggestion here and a suggestion there.
AND
Boom!

Incident 4:

All the super heroes were out for a trip down the countryside. From somewhere came the joker and provoked Superman. While the argument started to get heated, the joker challenged the mask less batman. Spiderman and Candyman rushed in to help but had difficulty in understanding the gibberish. Our heroes took the countryside by storm while men looked at them in wonder. The joker continued with offensive remarks and got on their nerves. Batman went ahead unarmed with thunder voice and scared everyone around but the joker who said ‘Why so serious?’
AND
Boom!

Incident 5:

Involvement of Professor Umbridge gives me so jeero enthu.

Incident 6:

Lyadh glides on.

So this post ends.
And the oh-so-worshipped mortal, here is all that you have missed.

Enough entertainment?

:D

There was once a time when my sister took pride in drawing the margins of my copy. I still get to decide over which clothes she should or should not buy. Net is my necessity and her luxury. When I need the remote, I need the remote irrespective of which dumb favorite serial of my sister is on air.  All of these happen with very little rebellion from her side. And when I say little, I mean very little.

  

So,
There is this thing about idolizing elder brothers and sisters.
One is just proud of them, for no specific reason whatsoever.
And then, 

Growing up happens.

I remember no place for me to hide. Before you came home at night - Devendra Banhart

You run after a bus. Knowing quite well that you wont get it. But. You run. And. Miss it.

You run after a bus. Knowing quite well that you wont get it. But. You run. You get it. And. You realize it was a wrong bus after all.

You start walking. A bus stops. And. Goes away.

You keep on walking.

And

:)

Strawberry Fields Forever

This ad!
Although it talks of giving without letting the world know.

I could not help but admire all the men for their amazing chivalry. Last time we visited KFC, Sir pointed at this middle aged couple where the woman got up to bring the food while the man did not move his lazy bum at all. Sir was not very pleased with the whole idea and there Olivia pointed how Sir too thinks like a girl.

The whole point is, no matter how much we talk of feminism and equality and girls kicking the moon and what not! Every girl wants to be taken care of. When someone calls you Ma’am or asks you to order first or pays your bills, you actually feel nice.  The last point being true across all cast, class, creed, gender and tribe.

I have forever debated for feminism during school times. My take being, that the sun rises in the east is a fact. And since it is a fact, it is not questioned and debated about. Which is not the case with men and women being different or same? Men and women are definitely not equal, neither mentally nor physically. Their emotional quotient is way different as well. Had the question being, if anyone deserves less than the other, the answers would have been completely different.

The post is going haywire for the simple fact that it never had a point. I am just amazed by the advertisement. I am amazed how rarely I find such men of honor. Just the other night I noticed the next door neighbor carrying his three year old son from one room to the other by his leg. This followed by bashing him up. We were all sorry for this senior for his breakup but later we heard how he called the girl names in public for the entire episode. And there also is this classmate who dumped a girl for caste issues which seemed oh so important after having the initial fun phase.

Everybody has loved Hector when he said ‘Honor the Gods, Love your woman and defend your country’
And also when Helen said ‘I don’t want a hero my love, I want a man I can grow old with’

Can I not have a bit of both?
With a bit of ‘Will You...’
And they do call me a conditional bitch and extremely demanding. And the new term of the league is amar prochur ‘naak achhe’

Strawberry Fields Forever!

" But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need. "

And happy loving everyone :)