Oh, Happy Fake Birthday To Me!

27 on 27

A cake uncut by
A photograph pointing at
A soul dreaming of
A heart tired with
A ticket not shown to
A life dedicated for

Hello you!

Happy?
Happy now?
Last time I checked you said you weren't, with me.
Last time I checked you said couldn't breathe.
Happy now? 
Happy?
Now that there would be no messages tomorrow  morning,  afternoon,  evening,  night wishing the same.
Now that your Goodnights messages are followed by a different name.
Happy?

Well
Happy B Eve and Everyday then.
Just the way you want.

-Abhishikta

Sometimes

Sometimes all you need is a terrace half moon peeping behind the high rise
Sometimes all you need is a sky full of stars without highs
Lend a ear
Rent a ear
Sometimes all you need is a ring of smoke on Spring-Summer night
Sometimes all you need is a pointer to the never acknowledged lies

-Abhishikta

A Full Moon Night, Acting Batman Inside

There are multiple times in a day when you curse the Gods,  there are multiple times in a day when you drown yourself in self pity,  there are multiple times in a day when you question the purpose of still being alive.

However,  there are these rare Spring nights smelling of final exams,  with one arm full of washed clothes from the weekend, which you forgot to pick from the terrace until now and another hand somehow adjusting the dinner parcel that
the delivery person chose to deliver at the same time. Juggling between the two, with the peace of no social media banter and the occasional task of convincing the mother on your sanity and safety,  you open the door of your empty flat after a long day, being fully aware of the half finished JIRA cards that should be closed by the night.

These are the nights when you realize that probably,  probably you can make through life all alone.
Of course you have no choice.
Of course you had never imagined doing this. 
But you can,  and you would.
So this time, for real,
To life...  AMEN

Writer's Block

I want to write
I want to write till my hand bleeds
I want to write till my heart stops bleeding
Tell me how
Tell me now

Kotilingeshwar

Hit the highways
Hit the highways
Hit the highways in anxiety and pain

There is a definite peace at 100km/hr and not a compulsion to talk
When the wind hits your face (the left eye bleeds of course)  and your hair sways (add on to the spa expense).

Bangalore has always been THE place for trips and I regret not documenting any for the last 1.5years years.  Here I start again.
Destination decided:  Kotilingeshwar
Persnal interest:  Kolar mines
Group interest:  Sher-e-punjab

The thing with wanting to start in the morning is that,  it never happens.  I could also add on about the woes of winter but well,  we all know how perfect Bangalore weather always is!
So somehow we started off on time, of course after continuous instructions from N about taking bath and wake up calls. All the bikers and travel lovers of Bangalore must already be aware of the infamous all night ccd there,  not that we don't have it marathalli, but then,  the romantic kinds take the effort.  Being into one sided unromantic relationships,  I've always tried avooding this ccd but as fate had it,  it was RIGHT on the way and of course a landmark.
The thing with Kotilingeshwar,  you have to be on the Bangalore-Tirupathi highway for sometime. There is a general tendency of the food to be a little on the non-Kannada style,  bear! You'll hit the Kolar mines (right after the tortorous CCD) within an hour if you take KRPuram route,  or you can drive extra and try connecting from Mahadevpura just for the heck of it. Sher-e-Punjab would fall to your left along with a LOT of fancy dhabas,  stop over or just continue to make it on time. You have to be careful with your map. Soon you'll hit pretty village side and forest on loop.  Stop over for home grown cheap water melon!!!

Kotilingeshwar has 9lakh Shiv Lingas and they are aiming at 1crore,  as the name suggests.  More on the religious side of it from Google, I've stopped believing in Gods big time. However,  to step and dance over the HOT floor amidst SO MANY lingas is an experience! What could really irritate you is the conviction with which the priests ask you to donate
e for a baby and/or marriage.  Good if you are on my group and have no hopes of either,  A of course had and he almost got into a tiff! H on the other hand had some family issue where he was not supposed to visit temples for that week.  That of course,  got us  few eye rolls.
We didn't stay for long.  The destination was definitely not better than the journey.

The journey back of course,  had a brilliant sunset of quiet reflections and friends who take away your quite moment with pjs, a long wait beside serene raiway track. The sher-e-punjab was the BEST dhaba experience I've had in the last few years.  It's owned by Punjabis,  has a huge space and brilliant food + we were starving.
There is however a strict rule here of no drinking.  We actually saw the transition between lunch and dinner here (we're vella like that).

Riding back to the city,  winds on our face and a hopelessness that no temple can fix was good for A,  for the eventual date!  I hope it worked out that way for all.
Anyway,  on reflectionas,  some other day.
An abrubt,  bye.

Happy (?) Valentine's Day

Cry another night
Live another day
Cry another night
Live another day
Cry another night
Live another day
Cry another night
Live another day
Cry another night
Live another day
Cry another night
Live another day
Cry another night
Live another day
Cry another night
Live another day

Which came first?
Chicken or the egg?

-Abhishikta

Ah