9 year old prayer, not answered.
Circling between never answered and yet to be answered. A zillion tear drops could not melt hearts, never did , never would. The Gods, the humans, the destiny writers, the city.
So bye bye Kollolini.
Praan bhorti obhimaan niye, bidaay
Or would you just stay back for that one phuchka after the giant wheel at the fair and move forward in time?
Found this beautiful cute song talking of Bhalobasha bashi pachhena so why not just Pashapashi hatbo, for a while!
Bangla is so beautiful you see? I could not even translate the words in the truest essence!
Listen over for the lyrics and not the singing
Listen over for the beauty that Bangla known and mostly unknown songs are
তুই হতে চাস এক ক্যানভাস
তুই দাগ চাস তাতে স্পষ্ট
আমি জানব না তোর প্রেমিকার কথা
কাকে নিয়ে তোর কস্ট।
Processing grief leaves you hollow and full.
It took me more than 48hours to process let alone accept something that's unreal in all versions of reality.
Many versions many stories later, a constant replay of many memories later, crazy scrolling through insta handle later, it is still unreal. Like a nightmare which would be over.
Words are failing me. Acceptance has not set in. Have never known about a fitting farewell.
Rest in Power and abundance of Peace, Pooja!
May you never be sad again.
Parents ageing is complicated and sad beyond words. To look at the hands that held you tight; struggle to bend and fold and speed up! To look at the voice that always comforted you; get worried at situations that seemed like nothing few years ago. And ofcourse there are surprise "shorir kharaps" with no definition or explanation except for 'boyesh'.
Long story short, whole heartedly, absolutely begging request to Gods for absolutely no stress, drama, anxiety, tomorrow or anytime soon please! Pretty please!
Ever wondered if a person with anxiety matching the intensity of a tough constipation would be called Anxtipated?
I could compete for the Anxipated Queen title tonight. Absolutely not being a thankless prick for being able to be in Calcutta for Saraswati Pujo this year again, but then again, shouldn't this be a basic pratice and not another day of endless gratitude of how 'lucky' I got this year!?
I see people half as serious, half as dedicated and if I may say, without sounding like the intellectual snob that I am, half as intellectual or intelligent or sensitive of interesting, happily living the life I dreamt. Sipping bhar er cha, eating bhaja Maggi and calling it a day with Silk Cut around Unitech, earning just as much and also not paying 30k per month for a flat with Kaveri water shortage making making morning news. The crap that SRK and Paulo Coelho spoke and wrote about universe conspiring is so rigged. The winner takes it all, ABBA spoke for all of us!
Saraswati Pujo should be about worrying which Saari to wear and not which Saari to pack since it's almost time to back again.
Anxtipated! Didn't I tell you.
Can you believe it that up until a few years ago dressing up in White, Red or Pink would make me excited and happy on this day, Valentine's Y'all! Look what I've made myself into. Yikes.
1. What did you do in 2023 that you’ve never done before?
Drove Maa
Published a book
Saw the Northern Lights
Blew up security alarm in Germany (that is more of S, but still counts :D )
Visited Red Light District
Got DTM pin
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Not kept, not keeping
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
So many babies happening my God! Kuhu was such a treat to be with though!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Pishu
5. What countries did you visit?
Norway
Netherlands (Germany and Kuwait, with transits)
In the country: Delhi, Rampur, Calcutta, Mangalore, Udipi, Calcutta, Karwar, Goa, Badami, Calcutta, Puri, Calcutta, Chandigarh, Lucknow, Calcutta
6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023?
Promotion
7. What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory?
Buying a car
Obhimaan being up on Amazon and Flipkart
Watching the lights
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Bidesh bina onsite!
Starting MBA!
Obhimaan
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not doing anything significantly great work-wise
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Weeklong Fever! Back in my life after a very long time.
Note to self: Add more machh to meals
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Air Fryer for home
Iphone for S
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Boss
14. Where did most of your money go?
Travel (and happily so!): No change to this touchwood
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Car
Tromso
PUJOOOOO
16. What song/album will always remind you of 2023?
O Mahi O Mahi
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
1. Happier or sadder? Same
2. Thinner or fatter? Fatter
3. Richer or poorer? Same
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Certifications/Switch
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Sleeping! Mindless endless non productive sleeping.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Wrote letters to Santa
Woke up feverish
Went to Friends Cafe for Steak and Beer
Could not have the food or beer
Fought with S
Called it a night with Antibiotics
21. Who did you spend most of the time on the phone with?
Maaaaaaaaa! <3
22. Did you fall in love in 2023?
No
23. How many one night stands in this last year?
None.
24. What was your favorite Tv programme?
A million vlogs on the Arctics
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.
26. What was the best book(s) you read?
Obhimaan
Amrita-Imroz
Humayun Ahmed (Finally visited Boi Mela after many years and bought a Humayun Ahmed! Should do more of it)
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Just Breathe
28. What did you want and get?
Northern Lights
Book with my name on it
29. What did you want and did not get?
Better job
30. What were your favorite films?
12th Fail ! OMG!
31. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
30 till 40 :)
Went home
S came along
Went to Puri with everyone!
Sea, Sand, Family, Anxiety, Fear, Wanting to cease everything that very day till forever
Best :')
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Staying in Calcutta
33. What would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?
Accepting size L and buying size L
34. What kept you sane?
Nothing! The year had a lot of anxiety issues.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Virat Kohli!
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
None
37. Who did you miss?
Home
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Noone
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023?
Cherish the good rather than worrying about the temporary in good! (That is the lesson, not the learning from the lesson)
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to meSpeaking words of wisdom, let it be
