Death (22.09.2019)

You think, you always think that unannounced Goodbyes are the worst.
You think, you always think that unannounced breakups are the worst.
You think.

Then there are announced deaths.
Then there are announced full stops.

Hurts.
Just as much.
Little more?
Little less?

Various happy photos of a lifetime.
Photos, so perfect that you almost wipe your tears.
Of joy?
Of sorrow?

No,
For a change, you do not delete them.
You frame them.
In your heart.
In your soul.

Hoping,
They would rest in peace
And so would you.

That's when you know,
What hurts more.
What hurts less.
What brings peace.
Forever and always.

-Abhishikta

Not being able to dedicate songs is such a frustration.
There are these perfect places and perfect songs and you're there, almost dreaming, ready with a song.

Not being able to dedicate songs is such a frustration.
Not depression. Definitely not.
Frustration.

So you just do the age old I-dedicate-songs-to-myself stunt

"And you want to travel with her and you want to travel blind"

Sounds from the Kitchen

Sounds from kitchen are so comforting.
Don't get me wrong here. Staying away/alone at all/most times makes me feel very independent, very alive. The non self imposed state of life has not been too depressing to be very honest. Yet, once in a while when you're half awake and you hear sounds from the kitchen, of onions getting fried, water getting poured into bottles, you're half transported to the better old days at home (where you never did much, not that I'm gloryfying the bad that I was), but you know this is a different home, you're supposed to stay alone here without comforting kitchen sounds, however, Nibedita smiles away from the kitchen and you're comforted. You turn around and sleep off. Little joys really!