Prithibita Naki...

Kolkata winters have always been an experience. Trust a radically sick person to still gather all her might and turn up for parar program, especially for a band that she had never heard of. 

Fakira, when I heard them, especially when I saw an entire early 20 something crowd sing along line by line while I only sang chorus, for a while, I thought that maybe our time is over and the 10 years of Bangalore has taken me away from Bangla music scene and now, old age has to just nod the freshly chopped hair, headbang what headbang, Hello Pretence, my old friend.

And then there was a homage to "GOUTOM SYYAR", there was Prithibita Naki, there was a 60 something gentleman stand up and do Aahahaha...aaaha Aahahaha! I did too, so did the 20something headbangers, so did parar kakima and khukumoni! 

That's when you know, the dead weight might pull you down, but then, you can always lick your wounds with Bhebe Dekhechho Kiiiii Tara Rao Koto Alok Borsho Dure.... Aaro Dure.... 

There goes my Hreed... Aaro Dure

Chapter 7: 💔

Why Calcutta?

 Wanting and making all arrangements to push me off at every instant! Just why?

Loss, the Thought, the Possibility, the Reality

 Loss. Something we've all dealt with, or, are dealing with. Of people, places, substance, memory, dream, hope, possibility.

Reeling from such a loss, or the possibility of it. My father had always tried optimism when watching cricket "last ball e kichhuo hote pare". Today I heard that he's optimistic as well, so is everyone I spoke with today. I as usual have very little hope about my medical situation. I hope I am just exaggerating this out of proportion and mine will be a story to tell next year. Header "Storm in Storm"! H, please.

God, this one time, prove me wrong about my worries and them right about their faith. Very very tired. Really.

Never A Dull Day

Tears.

Some of joy, some of pain,
Some for people to never meet again,
Some for choices, badly made,
Some for bold chances, mocking fate,

Tears.

So many known, many unknown,
Few, beautifully wiped out,
Few, never shown,
Few, present continuous,
Most, anonymously passed on, 

Outgrown.

-Obhi

Final Result Day

All fate Gods, please, let the day be of happiness. It's more important than ever. Praying with all of my might. Counting on all of combined dullops of faith and prayer and belief.

Anxiety pro max tonight.

Wait

Remember that time after board exams; you prepared your best, you sat through the exams, you think you did well, everyone is saying papers were unpredictable, now you wait for the result.

Wait, not knowing if your emotionally charged up essay would go in the hands of a non romantic teacher, not knowing if the teacher would "step mark" your half done maths sum, not knowing if you'll pass.

Going through exact same phase. Want to flex that I have never failed. Want the streak to just continue. Touchwood. Gods, I have no strength left for any barter. So, just for the love of  love, don't fail me this time too. Please.

Hot chocolate for the weak heart.