Friday, April 29, 2016

New Spaces Bring New Stories

There is nothing in this world that depress me more than the thought of having to wake up any time before 9 in the morning. So, I happened to be at Bang6 at 7:30 in the morning today. Imagine that! Add that to voluntary Ajax training. Add that to only ASE in a room full of 29 odd SMEs (Subject Matter Expert), all thanks to Abhimanyu’s last minute Mumbai plans. Self-patting moment :P

I realized today why people are so hunky dory about Bang6. It does not feel like Bangalore for one. The 6th floor two buildings wrapped cafeteria is NOTHING like KDC lastfloor cafeteria but most certainly, the best that you can get. Standing at the small bridge adjoining Tower A and C at the 8th floor and looking down at the open air Barista or the mid Park open air CCD which was so empty that it hardly looked like Accenture, or India for that matter. And to walk up to it all alone and have coffee. Self-patting moment, again :P

Oh, did I rant about the Bangalore heat yet? No right? See the adjusting and calm God I’ve become. So finally today, while I was standing at this open air bridge at the top floor (which was all empty because well, people work and I, hate Java and anything that is Java, Ajax here for that matter, so strolling is fine). So there was something between a Kalboishakhi breeze and summer loo which blew up my mind (in a good way). Have I ever told you that nothing in the world makes me as happy as breeze through my hair and face, in the filmiest way? THAT!

Ground floor has rooms hosting GFT kids. This reminded me of my days and how, last year this time with the earthquake, we were getting java cross trained. Ankita G, Raja, Diptarka, Isita- my ultimate four pillars of Java (and Oracle Apps, basic GFT, for that matter) who shed their blood and sweat (like literally) so that I pass. A year later, just one day of Ajax made me miss these people so much. But one good thing, of all that I was and am going through is, I’ve come to good terms with myself. I have actually started to like my company so much that I am very close to becoming unsocial, which is very UN-me (yeah put on Swag).

I took a long walk with one liter Sprite yesterday and finished the entire thing all by myself (yes the heat helped). I was actually at peace at not feeling bad about it, liking it in fact. I knew someone who dreamt of drinking milk straight out of carton to mark independence and some jazz; I somehow understood what it meant yesterday. Anju and Narmada looked in shock later while I went for lunch alone (and did not ask them while they walked towards Breakout for lunch) while Abhimanyu was Mumbai-bound, Anju accompanied me the day next but I actually did not feel bad either ways (ways is it correct English is it? Or is it either way? Somebody please tell! Oh that and also, too much Kannada English has taken a toll on me, my sentence end tone and a pronunciation-a). Never mind.

I remember a few years ago, I was having a very happy Lunch at Mocambo and there was this woman on the table next, with a book, all alone. I felt so bad for her that day, but now, I know it is not bad after all. It’s this sense of peace and contentment at your own company where you do not have to think, please or pretend. Of course it does and would take a toll if practiced for long because I, need to talk. But touchwood I have good people to talk to for now. Titoo commented at my Chocolate Milkshake break last day as ‘Bapre sukhi dupur toh. Sange Bihari partner’ and I corrected him, it was all me myself (by choice). Good bad I do not know.

Smita stays upset these days for issues that made her lonely and she is back to my phase where I believed that you need either your family or boyfriend here, to stay sane at this city. Maa keeps on making me feel old on good days and comforts me on bad days. More on these two later. I wonder why I keep on writing here. A published diary someday? You never know B-)

And this thing that says: ‘New spaces bring new stories’

So voids are good things is it? Apparently

:)

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Find Your Beautiful


'Bikhre uljhe, tumse kayi zada ziddi, unhe suljhana matt!'
Even if they think it’s ugly, even if he says the photos would be bad.

'Woh badlegi, moody hogi, aur khulke jeene k bohot saare mauke degi. Unhe jeena!'
Even if they say they don’t have your size, even if he does not look too glad.

The two major lines I could relate to in the Radhika Apte viral video. And as she reaches the closing minute and says,
'Ekbar who bhi karna jisse darr lage'

Maybe you are forced (no choice there) to live your darkest fears and you ride on with pride. Not because you have emerged as a warrior, not because you’ve won all battles, but because now, after the permanency of battles, it does not scare you as much.

'Woh din aayega'
Ayega.





Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Kolkata, Ah Calcutta :)

No, I am not going to write yet another homesick tale.
Someone I find extremely smart has recently shifted back to Kolkata after working in Delhi for quite some time. She shared an update recently saying “How do I react when mom shouts on the phone cause I am not home by 10pm?

I have always volunteered for the I-got-all-the-independence-at-home-too clan whenever I have had debates with people on the Kolkata VS Bangalore topic and trust me; I have had MANY of these debates. No I do not belong to that section of the society where the mother would marry you off at 21 saying “ja ja moja korar biyer por korish”, that does not mean I can come home drunk and the Mommy would not react. But I do come from a household where you tell the mother a week after drinking out with friends and she would roll her eyes with “beshi urishna” and that be it!
Recently (and when I say recently, I mean yesterday) there was a little tiff with the mother because?
“Breakfast kheye ghum ta kon desher niyom?”
“Bikel 5tay kheye snan korte jachhish mane?” and the likes.

I tried explaining this is how it is when you are on your own and I was half afraid because she would start hinting on the million possibilities of not being on my own emotionally, which would lead to finding a partner but no, she kind of gave up the fight. Mainly because I stay so away that she did not want to destroy the distant conversations that we have with arguments. Lately there has been too many of them. Yes I felt bad for her but I was wondering how difficult it is going to be for her to accept the new bad lifestyle that I have now.

That is when I was wondering if these people were right about not wanting to settle back to Kolkata for this ‘independence’ which I do not clearly understand but then. They told me to sort the matter off with monthly visits (yes quite a joke right now when I think twice before eating dinner out two days consecutively). I was almost convinced when Piyadi and Sir also said, Kolkata is great but we are beyond that age and phase where we can live there permanently, or not atleast we hit the 40s.
But then, I get to see this song, and the streets and the places and the lanes and I know, I just know, be it sacrificing on noodle straps or nighters or beer or breakfast for lunch or whatever the heck it is. THIS place is where I want to be. Always! My city of joy!

Although the ‘living life on my own terms at Bangalore’ swag wins over the taunting Kolkata aunties over the already arrived “marriageable age”, the robbarer mangsho and chhader pasher ghorer ghum (but you HAVE to be awake by 10:30am) and Maa and friends and memories and almost everything about it makes up for ALL the sadness that there is/was/would be.


 Bari jabo :(
P.S. Rituparna boddo nyaka :D

Monday, April 11, 2016

Stooping A Little More



Between loving and liberating.
The oneness in between or the ever so obvious gap.

Between wishing and wanting.
The authority of decision making or front end destiny stab.

Between this and all that there could be.

The hairdo that's new, the love that's for few.
For her, for him.
Not for you.
Oh my darling,
Not for you.

-Abhishikta

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Tidle Dee Dum, Heart

1. He was just kidding.
2. It was 1st April.
3. Get your visa done.
4. She is very happy.
5. I'm proud of you.
6. 19th/31st of April/October 2013.
7. Long drive pe chal
8. Few days to pujo.
9.  Your holiday is approved.
10. I love you more.

Monday, April 4, 2016

C'est La Vie



1. You Deserve better
2. Let's Remain friends
3. Use Internet Explorer
4. No WiFi Detected
5. Doctor Killed Engineer
6. Relocation Mail Sent
7. You're Not Eligible
8. He Moved On
9. Water Is Over
10. Life Goes On