I have forever written in gibberish until I did not. Today is one of those days where the sunflower wilts. Miscarriages, IVF failures and amidst a million injections and medicines, writing this because this is the only form of grieving that I know of.
The biggest problem of ART (Artifical Reproductive Technology) is the limited knowledge in people, that is for lack of empathy and understanding and the entire hush hush around it.
Your body breaks, your finances go for a toss, your heart breaks and you hold it together to live another day, take one more injection, say one more prayer.
You question, do I even like kids that much?
You wonder, how much more weight loss would have made the pregnancy viable?
You cry.
You chatgpt.
You worry about your full time job.
It's just sad that our tax regime does not have ARTs as a section of exception, it's sadder that there are no ART leaves. It's saddest that even after all of this, everything goes to where everything started. A big fat zero.
Tomorrow shall be a new day where we breathe and put up a normal face. Today, just questioning the Gods and their pointlessness of existence.
If you have read till here, Thank you! Hope this never happens to you.
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