Adieu

"Abhishikta, study hard, don't let me down"... was what she said today .....

Today she is leaving for bangalore.... off she goes forever.....
but that last "don't let me down" is haunting me... literally.... soon she'll be leaving for dubai with mr. rashid, the luckiest man on earth..... but the baggage of expectations which landed on me yet again is suffocating me..... but honestly, it actually feels nice that there is someone who cares... for me?? who deserves the least of it....thanks miss and goodbye.. and this time... FOREVER

Happy Wedding

she is getting married today... finally... at 34... good, great.. superb actually.... the day has finally come.. the day i've been waiting rather praying for... i mean all her friends and colleagues got married... i know she felt bad... and i WANTED her to get married.. soon

but i really cant get over the fact that she is leaving kolkata forever... and going off to dubai... forever............ it feels shitttttttttttty

i don't know whether... i should be happy, sad, jealous???? what?

they say she is just another teacher... irritating, boring... always after students with loads of gyaaaaaaaaaaan... but she was and is more than a teacher to me.... a friend, an inspiration...
everything that made life seem like heaven..........


i'll miss her... the way she always scolded me for shouting, oversmartness,
her "badambhaja smile", the way i always ridiculed loreto..... everything...

dio for me meant miss... literally.... i know nobody likes her... in anyway in dio... but... i did... really... so while most of the students take a breathe of relief..... today..... i am forced to plunge into a nothingness that surrounds me... and probably this void will never be filled.....

i wish you all the lucks... have the best life... because you deserve it if anybody does.........

Dreams oF Past

No, I've not lost it. I was just going through my old diary and... oh good lord... i had such a terrible handwriting... and grammar.... phew.... now i know y my sis is soooo terrible in eng...i was way worse.....

but... not studying for the whole morning was worth reading it... i was amazed by the small silly things which mattered so much... i worte
" today priyadi came to school... thank you god..."
"if u r there then god, please ... the exams should end soon.."

lord... i won't call that foolish... it actually is sweet..... n "sweet" reminds me of mrs. abira jain, our computer teacher... i commented in my diary... " she is sweet enough to give diabetes"... now if i say that today it would be cheesy... but way back then.... expressing was all that mattered.......

it actually took me to the old world... of giggles n punishments n tears n bossing.

so if you r down ... go read.... i found my smile buried between those old, yellow, half torn pages.

Poetry

Intending to write poetry

I stared at destiny,

At the heartbreaks and pitfalls,

And perennial uncertainty.

Intending to write poetry,

I looked back at the girl I was,

With a heart so pure

And Barbie dolls three.

Intending to write poetry,

I remembered all my friends,

Some of who are still ‘friends’

While others have become history.

I stared and looked and remembered

All that was 'life' to me

And finally wrote your name on the paper

And wondered if there could be better poetry.

Crap

My want to be ‘me’ seems farcical when I realise how much I am like the people who surround me. What is ‘me’ but a genetic blend of parts of people who’ve influenced me, knowingly and unknowingly. I look around and see shades of me in my parents, my aunts and uncles, my siblings and wonder, what really is not me?!

Y A NEW BLOG

coz i wanted 2 shout, speak n xpress anew.....