The Year of Deaths

"Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders"

Clementine: This is it Joel. It's going to be gone soon
Joel: I know
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it

Why Can't I Wear Toe Rings?

You find them "dehati"

You don't like them?

I Care?

Come December and I long to sing "and man will live for...".

I so miss  the "pora" christmas cakes, gifts from school and the Christmas Party where Santa never came on sledge but on cars and "ghorar gari-s"

I saw them all today

The light green walls

The 'kaalo' speaker

The shack with Jesus, Mother Mary and the cows

The big red star 

The dark green gate which was SHUT

A very happy December everyone!

P.S. Waking up to find "porikkha shesh" is BLISS

After 6 long years of GROWING UP
After a long day of flip-flop, facebook and F.R.I.E.N.D.S
It is
The 30th of November again :)
And I race back to the blue bandana, red lehenga, purple dress, black waistcoat and VERY loud music days.
30th of November that was!
THE 30th of November it is!
"Tell us the words of the Savior which you remember which you know..."

You're only as tall as your heart will let you be
You're only as small as the world will make you seem
When the going gets rough and you feel like you may fall
Just look on the brightside- You're roughly six feet tall

Kagare kagare morhi
Itni araj tose 
Chun chun khahiyo maans
Araajiya re
Khaiyona tu naina more
Khaiyona tu naina mohe
Piya ke milan ki aas

My grown up DEAREST :)

When she is madly in love,

And the urge to hold on predominates.

When she ignores the friends around,

And clings on her man, her mate.

The monsoon she brings

Yes, to some.

But hate her not my friend.

Cause desperate she might seem

But it does reflect helplessness.

When she publicly demands his love

And is the one to hold his hand.

When she is not ashamed to disappoint you all

But afraid to take a stand.

Just step inside her shoes and feel

Or silently step aside. But

Call her not a bitch o' world,

Call her not a slut.  

P.S Oli bujhli?

I came across this one photograph of a friend's mom on fb and then brought out a few old albums having similar black and white photographs which belongs to my mother. Those photographs, where girls, who were my mother's friends, back in her school and college days, wore polished sarees and neatly tied their hair and smiled. Those were the people Maa grew up with and gradually got evicted in her own small journey from the small town of Dongargarh to her sad city of joy. Those photographs are the only memory of those friends that she has . These beautiful women clad in saree who somewhere got dissolved in their own dusty warmth, today, probably is serving their chauvinist pigs of the house, probably bossing around, probably going through a  similar photograph where Maa smiles wide.

Aur Ahista...

Nobody, as a matter of fact, will ever be able to sing the way he did

The man who sang "tum itna jo" on sunday mornings at my living room , whose "kagaz ki kashti" first brought in sums and songs together for me 

R.I.P

Shall love you forever and ever

"Jaan baki hain magar saas ruki ho jaise"

After an amazingly crazy and ‘matal’ day, while we parted and Sidd gave a hug to all of us, the condition struck me (like every time before vacation), what if I don’t see any of them ever again?

Sir oi cinema screening koriyo jodi kal na dekhi ‘Pleaise’ (my style)

While you make rings of smoke and counter it throughout

While you stand in awe at the 'dhaak' 

While you look at her 'shada saree laal paar'

While you eat the 'bhog' and plan for next year

While you meet old and new 'interests' for pandal hopping

While you moisten your eyes at the 'ashchhe bochhor abar hobe'

I will be long gone

Parajita

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Aparajita sat motionless on the wheelchair with her diary.
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"Congratulations Di! I am so happy for you."
"Thanks kid. The next turn is yours."
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November 5th 2009
Di is getting married. I am so very happy for her. I could not thank God enough for this,but I don't know how will I live after she leaves for Canada. I wonder how dad will manage once I get married too but right now, I am just too happy for Di.
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"No Di, buy the red saree"
"But I like pink!"
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November 24th 2009
The date is fixed. January 25th. Dad is going mad with excitement and oh!the card has been finalized. Mommy would have been so happy had she been alive today.
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"No kid, go off to sleep. You can complete all that tomorrow."
"Di! Firstly I am 21 and not a kid anymore and secondly,let me complete finalizing the guest list"
"FINE"
"Di?"
"Yes?"
"I Love You"
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December 3rd 2009
How will I live without her? Why on earth did she fall in love with someone based in Canada? I am hating him for taking her off and I wonder when will Mr.NRI find time to show his ass.
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"Karan, she is my baby sister"
"Hi Aparajita, how do you do?"
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December 25th 2009
Jiju planned to surprise Di on Christmas by flying down to India. That was kinda cute but he is weird. I mean who greets his sister-in-law with just a handshake these days? Typical snob he must be, snatching my sister away.
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"So you want me to show him the way?"
"Year dear, Karan is not very familiar with the roads of Kolkata and I have work so please drive him to the mall,I will meet you people there ."
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January 20th 2010
He likes red,he likes shiuli phool. The car broke down and we walked for a good half an hour before we reached the mall. We walked side by side and I could smell his aftershave. He likes Beatles and khichuri, he likes poetry and phuchka. He is so much like me. He likes babies and dogs. How I wish I was Di. I had the best walk of my life. Lived every moment  of it. I so wrongly judged him. I think I like him. Period.
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"Exited?"
"Yes"
"All the best Di! Now sleep. Big day tomorrow"
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January 24th 2010
Di is getting married tomorrow, then she leaves for Canada. Oh how I love her and how I loved THE walk.
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"Why do you have to go just the day after wedding? I hate Jiju for this"
"You can neverhate Karan kid. Nobody ever can."
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January 26th 2010
Di died.
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"No sir, Aparajita is only psychologically paralyzed. Her sister's accidental death has affected her very badly I suppose. I don't exactly understand why but she has subconsciously made up her mind never to walk again and consciously thinks she can't. "
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January 26th 2012
She knew? She knew.
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Story- Olivia (Chaitali's case study)

Chompa

She was just an average girl with more than average weight.
I always knew her as "Chompa" and down the line I somewhere forgot what her real name was, we all did. Chompa was the only destination for fulfilling our materialistic needs and she was stupid enough to help us in whichever way she could. Whether it was paying for the major part of our food bills or simply treating us on the most mundane issues. Chompa was always expected to be how she has always been.
People called her names, people hated her for her oh-so-apparent link ups.
She was just an average girl with more than average physical needs.
She loved and she was loved, the opposite gender being two different persons. She loved love, she loved being loved and surrendered to wherever she got it and was being used. In return she used as well,but that was Chompa for us,very stupid very shrewd.
She was just an average girl with more than average transparency.
While the world had their lips locked with their partners Chompa arranged for surprise birthdays and while Chompa had a little something with someone, we called it physical intimacy, but Chompa never protested,she simply gave up with a smile. We never spoke nicely to her, we never received her calls,we never asked her for approvals. She posed stupidly for every photograph while we cropped her out.
She was just an average girl with less than average importance.
And over the four years of college and non existence, she somewhere without being noticed, became Chandrabali Roy. She changed and thus changed the bit of Chompa that we all were.

English hasn't come up with a word for 'obhimaan' yet

Koyel- Calcutta Medical College
Protiti- Calcutta MedicalCollege
Ananya-Netaji Subhash Engineering College
Ankita- Bengal Engineering and Science University
Beekshan- Calcutta Medical College
Deblina- Heritage Institute Of Technology
Suchishmita- Institute of Technology and Marine Engineering
Subhaditya-Future Institute Of Technology
Ritwika- Heritage Institute Of Technology

and too many,just too many of Jadavpur University and Medical Colleges all over
and Sir still asks me why I was out of touch all this while

A VERY Happy Teachers' Day

For the wonderful saturday evenings and golpos of politics,love, flings and bangla

For THE guitar that I can somewhat play

For the firday evenings I loved,for the wonderful morning today, for being the father we all seek

For the person I am and shall be

For the JUDE dreams, for the beautiful mornings of poetry

For binary and love

For gossips and growing up years

For the last 7years of shelter, for simply being Aunty

For simplicity and love and care and +2

*LOVE*

 P.S. Right from Mrs. Young to Maa

Happy your day!

Amio hobo ekdin!

Inshallah

One status while gave me mixed feelings and the one which is forcing me to check a particular 'wall' over and over again
"Finally the wait is over!!!im now officially Dr.Angel Dutta...ooh sounds grt!!!:DDDD"

and it takes me back in my class V days when Angeldi told me one day 'ami toh daaktar e hobo'
She gave up a year, a LOT of weight and finally is
Doctor Dutta

don't make it bad
.
.
don't be afraid
.
.
refrain
.
.
don't let me down
.
.
begin
.
.
you'll do
.
.
Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better
Better, better, better, better, better, oh!


- The Beatles

Olivia correctly pointed out that in case of some people,the sudden toning down is evident extraordinarily.
After a  tough yesterday and sad today (for him) this is one text that I got around 8:55pm which made everything around very void for the next few minutes...

"Shihori Shihori kanpe Bohllori

Lashya madhur logoney

Chaand haase oi Gogoney...

Eta Amar Thakumaar lkha ekta kobitar part..khub fvrte Amar"

Pujo Ashchhe

Ria was supposed to come and I was trying to clean my table and I found the NCC song wala paper and tomorrow happens to be the 15thof august.

How I love the "savdhan and vishraam"

How I loved school

Mere Dil Mein Aaj Kya Hain Tu Kahe To Main Bataa Doon

I happen to notice a story book of 45 pages which my sister took from the school library and it had three old book cards inside. The oldest one had the date 12.3.1957

I rushed to the Morris and Mano from Pailan library and the oldest date was 4.5.2009

sigh life

Happy amader day everyone :*

Of proposals...

And while we were at our stupid best... Neel took 'dare' and had to propose to Ayantika. While he was about to propose (again and this time in front of everyone) I asked him if he would say "will you marry me" and he said no. I questioned again and he said "oita jokhon nijer paa e darabo" and that took  my heart away. (I thought I would write so much but somehow this is all i could manage to write). So he finally went down on his knees and said "I Love You" and she blushed. Ayantika became pink and I re-realised that 'I Love You ' is, was and shall forever be a statement and NOT a question

Improbable Romance

I was your priority,

A very high second priority I was.

When the world went off to sleep,

On the rain beats we danced.

Another cup of coffee blew out smoke,

The world moved happily again,

Another day passed ahead,

Of blame game and dominance.

Before you said anything

All you said was nothing.

And silently turned the page

Breaking the last string.

Fire and  ice came together.

Ice got charred, fire was silenced,

For their's really was, as they call it,

An absolute 'improbable romance' .

Some days are diamonds some days are stones

...Dark and dusty, painted on the sky,
misty taste of moonshine
teardrop in my eye...


...And that is why I wanted you to know,
Sometimes I feel like a sad song
Like I'm all alone without you, without you...

...Dream about the days to come

When I won't have to leave aloneAbout the times that I won't have to say ...

...like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert,
like a sleepy blue ocean ...

GOD

TAGGED (by suchishmita who will never read this)

Full Name: Abhishikta Chakraborty

Age: buri

Birthday: 28th of August

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, copy and paste this note, erase my answers and enter your own, tag people in the under portion of the app then click save.) 

{eta I wont do}

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage : Mattha :P

2. Last phone call : Shreemoyee

3. Last text message : Moulika

4.Last song : Oh My Love

5. Last time you cried : *thinking*

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice : no

7. Been cheated on : yes

8. Kissed someone & regretted it : no

9. Lost someone special : yes

10. Been depressed : yes 

11. Been drunk and threw up : nah

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. white

13. black

14. ummmm depends

SINCE LAST YEAR (2010), HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend : Yes...!!

16. Fallen out of love : yeah

17. Laughed until you cried : Yes...

18. Met someone who changed you : no nah nahin

19. Found out who your true friends were : YES (in capitals) YES!

20. Found out someone was talking about you : Yes

21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list : yes obviously 

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life: most of them. almost all of them

24. Do you have any pets: NO. 

25. Do you want to change your name : not any more

26. What did you do for your last birthday : first college strike, first mass bunk, first movie with college friends :D

 27. What time did you wake up today: 7:15 then 7:20 then then 7:25 then 7:30 then 7:35 then 7:40 then 7:45 and finally 7:45 :(

28. What were you doing at midnight last night : strumming

29. What’s something you can't wait for: a trip to ladakh :/

30. Last time you saw your mother: an hour ago

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: JEE results

32. What are you listening to right now: maaeri- debraj sir

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yes :D

34. What's getting on your nerves right now: irritating status messages and public displays of affection

 35. Most visited webpage : facebook, youtube, blogger

37. Nickname(s) : oneeeeeeeek

38. Relationship Status : widowed

39.Zodiac Sign : virgo

40. Male or Female: female

41. Elementary : St. John's Diocesan Girls' H.S. School

42. High School : St. John's Diocesan Girls' H.S. School

43. College : Pailan College Of Management and Technology

44. Hair color : Black

45. Long or short hair : Somewhere in the middle

46. Height : bolbo na :/

47. Do you have a crush on someone?: some one? there are soooooo many of them

48. What do you like about yourself? what nonsense?

50. Tattoos : hope to get one

51. Righty or lefty :  righty

FIRSTS :

 

52. First surgery : No :(

53. First piercing : yup! ear

54. First best friend : not best friend but first amazingly GOOD friend holo Ria

55. First sport you joined : NOTHING. nothing at all

56. First vacation :  dongargarh

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating : lays

60. Drinking :nothing

61. I'm about to: have dinner :P

62. Listening to : Awargi

63. Waiting for : :O 

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids? YES!!!!!!! :)

65. Get Married? definitely

66. Career? what about it?

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes : Eyes definitely

68. Hugs or kisses : hugs fcos

69. Shorter or taller : in the middle

70. Older or Younger : huh?

 71. Romantic or spontaneous? romantic

72. Nice stomach or nice arms : it all depends 

73. Sensitive or loud : Sensitive.

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship!!

75. Funny or Shy?: funny

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger : no!

77. Drank hard liquor : yuppp

80. Broke someone's heart : sigh...yaaa

81. Had your own heart broken : Yes..

82. Been arrested : Nope

83. Turned someone down : Ya...duhh

84. Cried when someone died : yes. fred

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself : NO

87. Miracles : well..dey do happen..so yes!

88. Love at first sight : yes

89. Heaven :yes..

90. Santa Claus : YES!

91. The tooth fairy : yaaa 

92. Angels :  yes..:)...:P

Too Strong a Woman

The smell of cigarette still lingered in her mouth

When he first kissed her with all love and passion.

And since then they called her

Too strong a woman for a strong man.

She was too busy reading

When dedicating to her, he first sang.

And yet again they called her

Too strong  a woman for a strong man.

While he tried making her happy,

She tested what all he could, what all he can,

And they undoubtedly called her 

Too strong a woman for a strong man.

One fine day he was seen

Doing all that he always did, but for a different 'her',

Bowing down to beauty personified,

Dreaming of together reaching the stars.

And she broke down behind the closed door

But not a drop of tear from her eyes ran,

For she wanted the world to know her

As too strong a woman for a strong man.

No desvies la mirada Quedate cerca de mi

The hero I had dreams about...
The villain I hated...
The friendships I loved...
The loves I enjoyed...
The EVERYTHING of my teenage days...

Farewell Harry

Lessons

A late morning as always and Pocha pissed me big time by making us wait while the bus left right in front of our eyes because she had to buy some stupid face wash (yes open your mouth wide or laugh)

Incident1:
And then we took the next bus. I got up last on the 'faka' bus and saw a 5takar coin on the shiri and picked it up. I got up to see this bachcha, like every alternate day who coaxes till sir gives him some money, standing and looking at me, about to push me like always and ask for money. I just gave him that coin and went off to to the seats. I smiled as i saw him neatly putting the coin inside the "rath" (though ultorath is long gone).

Nevermind, as I was telling sir about this incident this boy came back again and pushed my hand and this time I was RUDE to him and gave him a dirty look. The look was as rude as rudeness can be. I even said something mean but he sweetly smiled and pushed my hand again and gave me a broken 'batasha' and gave sir the rest.
I was in awe. He then gave a bigger piece of batasha from his rath to pocha and left and I was left with self-disgust

Incident 2:
As always I dominated and pulled the other two specifically Olivia out of college during lunch break who was dying (quite literally) to stay at Pailan till 5:30. So we were at KFC after about 45minutes and while the other two went to bring food, I waited and observed the table right next to me where 5 women sat.They looked happier than most of us present there. While most of the couples either had 'sophistic' cold wars and few (US) were bitching about the whole world, these 5 females smiled and smiled and smiled and I finally I understood that they cant hear or speak.
Now this was a moment of self disgust again. Amidst bunks and lies and fights and calling names and PNPCs and  cold wars and diplomacy and what not, that went through my mind at that moment, here were these less fortunate but more fortunate people who laughed with all they had.

I was numb after a very very long time today. One of them called me to take their group photo and this probably was the only good thing I did today.

The Car

"Baba, our English teacher wants us to write an essay about what we want to achieve in life." said Anuj.
"So write my son. Write about your dreams, your desires"-said Prakash while they walked out of their one roomed, asbestos roofed, small home towards Anuj's school on a rainy morning.
They walked for about five minutes to 'Shishu Vidyalaya' and Anuj asked, "Have you achieved what you wanted to Baba?". Prakash smiled and said "School eshe gechhe, bye son." and walked back, while the raindrops falling today, took him back in time when it rained.

Maria stood there half drenched at the bus stop. It was raining heavily and her half turned umbrella shuttered loudly, A car splashed water on her white school dress. She stood there adjusting one strand of hair behind her ear. Her dark eyes waiting for a bus, tried to avoid the gaze of roadside romeos who scanned her wet clothes and her from head to toe. Maria looked scared, embarrassed and Prakash burnt with rage but couldn't say a word.
It was that moment when Prakash decided to buy a car once he grows up and earns enough. His Maria will never have to get wet by the mud and water. He will be the man to buy her a car and thus they'll together enjoy the monsoons. Prakash, the chai-wala beside 'Agnes Convent School', that day knew what he wanted to   achieve in life- A Car

Prakash soon reached the stand and brought out keys from his pocket. He started the yellow and black mode of income of his and drove off...