Design Your Life!

Well this was the topic for the entire first half of today when I, after a long long time, probably the first time after my +2 days of Vernacular tuitions, actually sat there in awe and absorbed so much! I was absolutely mesmerized at this woman, fat, glowing, beautiful, who married her love from school at 22, now is 40+, still working, living with the same man and still very happy.

Now you may be wondering my company has no other work than this shit, well, I have a detailed write up on corporate life which I would post a few days later. For now, I am completely mesmerized at what I saw and heard.

A lot of things she said, a lot of things she suggested and later told us to decide on a retirement age! Isn’t that 60? No! When she said retirement, she meant retirement from the absolute professional commitments. The age when, if you want to wake up the next day and decide that you don’t want to go to work and go to the Himalays instead, it would still be okay. The company would fire you right? But you won’t care as you are okay with coming back and joining a company with one-fourth of your current pay because you know you have planned the rest of your life in a way where you would still live happily, with all your madness. Whether it is making the husband work while you have the ‘luck and luxury’ to be the princess, whether it is working for self and by self and having a good saving account, whether it is smart investment or anything! Got my point right? Not leaving work completely. Working when you feel like and not working when you don’t. So we were asked to decide on such a time and work accordingly to get that kind of life. I decided on 40. The how of it comes later.

The next nice part was about the wedding. Now, yes, there was just one girl who did not want to get married and wanted to continue a live in with her current “BIHARI” boyfriend. She was given a nice little lecture on the difference of thinking that one is committed and actually being committed. The beauty of marriage if you find the right partner! She convinced Adrija that if it is love, and actual love, she would change the way she thinks otherwise, gondogol has. I would have whistled at the psychology theory with which she explained. There was this other guy who had no girlfriend and did not want to marry but develop a rural something. He was encouraged. Most of us agreed on 27-29 as the ‘biyer-shomoy’ (other than Gaurav who was stuck with his point ‘khud ki girlfriend chahiye toh 26 warna 28 toh kisi aur ki girkfriend hi milegi”) which, according to Sumita, our trainer for today, gave us the next 5-6years for the “WE-TIME” as she called it after which we would be “home” for people. People would come back to us. She explained how that is not a bad thing. Being responsible and dependable is not a bad thing. Work life balance remember? To live a full life, we need to live a full life. There was also this part about how opposites attract but make horrible couples, a reminder to the theory I made long ago. Scared me a bit though.

She kept n saying, it is one life and we need to live it right! All the time. So there was this another question related to it that made us answer, what is that one thing that money can buy that we fancy the most? The range of answers had cars, bikes, treks, shoes, continents and what not! So much to do, so little time! The baseline was, designing! Designing the life well. The pride in Vella-panti that we glorify, design that well also. I would miss these sessions if I lose the job the next week!

The technical parts of it like tax calculations, work hour division, extra income and investments bleh. The second half of the day about personal changes and goal settings and serious professional things, which again, bleh! I was so wanting to make certain people come sit and listen to her. I so miss the literature classes of school! I so wished to come home and tell Maa. This was when I realised what Sumita meant when she said we will become “home” like our mothers and fathers are now, for us. So much to think. I actually went into this deep deep mind vacation and hence almost lost the multiplication game. The long walk to home with Anupam Roy singing “Shob pele noshto jibon” (YES I listen to Bangla gaan and you can go die) to an otherwise empty home which would stay that way for a long long time, and would probably never change back to its former self­­­­­ was heavy, very very heavy! One day, I might actually go to this secret place that I have decided upon and become a nun without letting anyone know. Not that anyone would care anyway.

 P. S. There is a very impressive 20-80 theory. I shall explain soon!