Demanding and demanding more
Wanting and wanting more
Wishing and wishing more
Expecting and expecting more
Hoping and hoping more

Nevermind all of that.

 LOOK at this man

Starry eyed?
Drooling?
I am *_*

With the constant rerun after rerun of the same depressing (with all due respect) news that Maa watches on 'Aaj Tak' about Uttarakhand and the all so more depressing evening training all week at one end of the world, LOOK at this man!

Or may be this

Amazed?
Little less heavy?
I was.

And then you meet friends with their sad times. And they curse the dogs and go on about how the dog world runs. The before and after transitions, the know whats and know hows and everything that is pessimistic. How everything starts and everything ends and you are supposed to add 'too' to the dog theory and nod and not laugh and definitely not doubt. Doubt what and why and whom if you are wondering, I was wondering too.

You can also become jobless and ponder about a certain dialogue of a certain movie

Questioning?
Wondering?
Same pinch.

But  then there are full moons and Kolkata monsoons to lift up the spirit. How I love the monsoons with all the skin ointments that it brings these days. There are also weekend wonder classes where the ugly teacher suddenly looks oh so hot to the childhood friend. People are just weird.

So you can finally come home and you find CID going on

Seen?
Trolled?

Oh! You can also be happy about the price of gold. The price of gold has reduced by a fair margin and my mother looks very happy. Absolute comic events follow my home with the rise and fall of the price of gold as Maa wonders away how will I get married when and if I get married. Yes. Laugh :D

But with all of that, these also is

Demanding and demanding more
Wanting and wanting more
Wishing and wishing more
Expecting and expecting more
Hoping and hoping more

But,
Nevermind all of that.

Of Possession and Loss. The Stalker Song Eh!

Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay

I woke up today to very dark clouds bottling the sky by the bedside and smiled. Smiled because the last thought that occurred before the heavy night consumed me yesterday was how things might not be the same. How newness can cast away the old. How everything returns back in many fold, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Yes when you are up there from the ground, not on your feet, swept above. Feel free to trust. And then if you fall, come blame me for I shall blame myself too. Yet the rain comes off and on. Marks two extremes. Happiness? Sadness? Nothingness would rather be the answer. Till next time? Sometime soon?
I woke up today to very dark cloud bottling the sky over my city and smiled. Smiled because there are certain things that would never change. And then it rained.

“Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" -- Dobby (HBP23)

Socks!
That is all that there is to the freedom.
Dobyy gets to be a free elf.
An elf nonetheless but.

Free.
And he selects his new master.
To lose his freedom again.
Happily?
Merrily?

“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

So year fourth finally, almost that is.

This semester was extremely exhausting with the excessive number of subjects and bad subjects and Kolkata summer to add on to the woes. There were ends that required attending, there were situations that made me feel THIS small, there were also moments which have become and would remain to be extremely fond forever.

While there was a blanket that I loved, there also was a very bright sun which brought new guilt every morning. And although this sounds like an achiever’s speech after conquering Mount Everest about all the little hurdles and helps, this actually is not. I have made up my mind on decreasing the levels of self pity so no more elaboration on this.

I regret closing all my doors and windows before an exam while the world went all pretty with rains and intervals and rains and all pleasant all around. There were storms and the beautiful nameless tree by the window side swinging happily and noisily. And I, being the epitome of morkot-ness, closed my window, switched on the fans and studied. Yes you read that RIGHT. And even after all of that... achha I did say no more elaboration.

Off I go on a weekend trip and thus people can finally have their moments of peace and sleep well and continue with the happy times for the rest of their lives, if I don’t return after all. Ah! Never mind that, this is the song that played on loop yesterday all throughout OR preparation and with what started as a ‘ki-shundur-gaan’ has become my song of depression. Suno.

Tada