A packet of chips made me feel privileged. I left it. I could hardly pay attention to the extensive Eid menu being discussed for Monday. Everything is making me feel privileged, everything is making me feel helpless and sick. I don't even want to get into the loss statistics. I don't even want to get into how useless I feel. I cannot even imagine what the blown away mudhut must have meant to Maya Mashi. I cannot even think how my house now look without the tree in front. Class privilege, yes.
Have been obsessing over Bengal videos and photos since yesterday morning. Took half day off yesterday since I felt sick in my stomach which in turn again made me feel privileged. I was empathetic for all Bengal leaders I had always made fun of.
To keep looking at the phone so that calls from home don't get missed because I cannot call anyone. To wait for news from a home that has no electricity, water or network for slightly more than 3days now. But to still know they're safe, touchwood. Privileged. Very very privileged. I hope this feeling of gratefulness stays and I keep wanting to help the poor and stop the privileged lifestyle even when this passes, if at all this passes. Thank God for a very privileged life. Also, God, please, STOP. Enough thrill already! I don't even. I can't even.
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