Tomorrow happens to be my granddad’s birthday! Well, in most of the households, days like these are not quite huge affairs but my Dida, who did not know her birth date, made sure that Dadu’s birthday and their wedding anniversary ofcourse is remembered and celebrated, in their own sweet way, nomatter whichever of their children is in whichever part of the country.

I remember being too shy and out of words to be more apt, on one of their anniversaries and the kind of upset that made her. So the point being, tomorrow is the first birthday of Dadu, in all these years when Dida would not be around cooking all her favourite food on his birthday. I would not be calling him first thing in the morning to ask what be the plans for the day to which his normal answer would include a looooong list of food items starting with keema shingara.

I am sure Maa would arrange for all the good food in the world tomorrow to which he would say ‘ei boyeshe r koto khabo’, I am sure Chintudada’s phone call from Pune would make him very happy, I am sure he would he would secretly bring out the alcohol that he got as a gift, however, I cannot even imagine the kind of missing that would happen to him tomorrow.

In my few days of all-spring-around, I know the kind of hurt and tears I experience with every OliveSub, every IceCream, every PoorJoke, every DirtyFantasy, every LongWalk, every HappyThing, every SadThing, every SunRise, every SunDown, evey MidNight turning me to a depressing zombie, I cannot even imagine the kind of hurt he must face after 52 years of mutual love without boredom creeping in, ending it all. If single ticket dreams can break me so bad even without the engagement of death, I was just trying to imagine the breakdown he must have had after years of double ticket happy life which was snatched and he could do nothing about it.

These are the days I miss Dida the most. I keep on wondering how different things would be had she been around. I would run and tell her what happened and she would shower her one million blessings which would instantly calm me down because I was sure God listens to her, all the time. Otherwise how else do you think I survived B-Tech? Aaj thakle amar ei obostha hotona! I remember how she always told me to wear the MataRani pendant on a day, that she gave me and how I would look perfect. I wish she was around to see what is possible and what is slowly turning out to be impossible. She could make impossible possible. I believed. I wish she was here still. I wish. Most importantly, I wish she was around for tomorrow atleast. And everyday.