City Lights :)

Today be my one week anniversary at Bangalore. Now if you belong to that section of the society who is wondering from where on earth did the one week anniversary concept emerge, you would not be the other section that wonders why I am left alone by the, uhmm… well, non-fairer sex (do not take the color in too much of a literal way).

When I came to the city I hated it. I still hate the fact that I come home to no home. The new found freedom is exciting, yes, but somehow when you have a mother who still keeps her mouth shut and prays for the well being of someone who has broken you into pieces, just because you want it that way, you really cannot claim to not have the “freedom” bit at home sweet home. The first weekend high is mandatory and slightly remarkable true, but then, we have always had Fairlawn back home!

There of course has been and shall forever be one million other comparisons between Kolkata and Bangalore, I’ll save all of that for the future posts which would be very many.

However, this whole horrible experience had one good thing. My wishlist of a room that looks over a road with city traffic lights has been checked. Yay! The little joys yes. Yes, the view is a little guarded from my room and clearer from Sejuti’s, yes the view is not ‘shared’ as per the plan, I do not have a hand to hold in excitement at the yellow street lights in the middle of the night at an unknown city. But this is all that I can manage on my own, and that is all that God has for me. Not everyone is as lucky as the one I want to be lucky you see. Chalo something is better than nothing after all.  

However, the only baseline wish that I have forever had from my life is to come home to someone I love and who loves me back. One such person left at the thought if future prospects by choice, and the other person, my Mother, cried and had to leave because I said so. Not everyone has everything you see. And they would say I am not meant to move around much. Surely I am not. For I do not believe in solo exploring and definitely not in coming home to darkness. I NEED to come home after exploring the world to tell the stories to someone you see. I need people. And people minus one (Maa of course) do not need me. Irony much!

Bengaluru gave me a hell lot of tears and broken friendship in the first week itself, manush chena and all that jazz.  Thus, making me strong maybe. Made me a bitter person though. Bangalore, I hope you do not disappoint me like everyone. Not that I have a lot of expectation from you anyway. Kolkata, I miss you. A little less than the missings of THE you though. Ah my lack. Such Lack.