Trauma Wave

 Gibberish alert.

Today I'm not writing about IVFs or miscarriages or failures. Today I'm writing about Trauma. Trauma from somethinf much deeper and older than the physical pain and exhaustion of medically assisted Reproductive cycles. Trauma, not as old as childhood days but not very recent as well. Trauma that stayed with me for almost a decade and suddenly one day I didn't remember the feeling of it. Or maybe, I actually got over it, or a newer trauma took over that space. This trauma; long forgotten about.

Then something happens, suddenly Adele sings "let the sky faaaaaaawllll"; suddenly a morse code is shared simewhere; suddenly you smell a smell you just know; and there it comes, the trauma wave.

It is not sadness, or despair, or hate, or anger, or maan-obhimaan; absolutely nothing. It is a trauma wave running through your body, like a you live that decade you would not wish on, even your enemy, within 10 seconds. You can't breathe.

I wish there was a better word for this. Or, a therapy that did not need narrating the entire decade long trauma stories to the shrink. Told you this will be gibberish. Someday I want to come back to this post and not remember why this was written. Till then, AAAAHHHHHHGGHHHH