Frontline!

Pranam: *Calm In The Storm*

Think of sincerity being personified, that is Pranam for you. Has been leading the club and making sure that every voice is heard, every thought is acknowledged. Someone the club can depend on, always. Pranam is an asset to the club.

Parixit: *Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman*

Young and dynamic. Has his own witty style to handle the toughest of situations. Startled the club with his presence of mind and slowly coming across as one of the most promising leaders who walks his talk, and hardly ever disappoints. Parixit is an asset to the club.

Mohan: *Shining On*

Made his mark in the club within a short span of time. Has appreciation for little things in life which comes across beautifully in his speeches. Taking his first step into leadership journey and already coming across as a smart leader and quick learner. Mohan is an asset to the club.

Pavan: *Infinite Loop Of Words*

Extensive talker and passionate toastmaster. He has a very clear take on life and is never afraid to express it. Courageous leader, helpful friend, Pavan is all things positive and all things appreciative. Ready to explore leadership and make his mark. Pavan is an asset to the club.

Suhas: *Best Of Both Worlds*

Observer and do-er, all in one. Suhas is full of compassion and kindness. He has shown amazing creative skills and is ready to take the world by the storm, despite being the patient person that he is. Never stops learning and never stops experimenting. Suhas is an asset to the club.

Paulami: *Born Superstar*

Talk about confidence, butterflies, positivity and everything bright and beautiful. Paulami is our inhouse sunflower who can light up any gloomy day by just being around. Grammar Nazi and helping hand for life. Paulami is an asset to the club.

Vivek: *Perfection Personified*

The  steering wheel of Stagecoach who has tirelessly, seamlessly directed the club towards perfection, all of it with a smile. The strategist who plans what is best for the club and puts in all efforts possible, to turn them to reality. His zeal for perfection is infectious. Vivek is an asset to the club.

Abhishikta: *Roar and Soar*

A lot of dreams, a lot of challenges, a lot of passion for a lot of things, all combined together to form this one tiny human. Trying to motivate people to Roar louder and Soar higher this term.

Trying to be an asset to the club.

Dear Bindiya

Sidekicks!
We see them and never watch,
We like them and never love,
Not remembering them is a different story altogether;
My humble attempt to pay attention and appreciation to such sidekicks who deserved so much more

Episode 1
Dear Bindiya

Graduation Day, etc.

Someone I once knew, used to say,
How it always rains on a specific day.
And it did
Today.
How I wish I could wholeheartedly pray,
For someone who just wouldn't stay.
And I did
Today.

-Abhishikta

Oh, and Happy Graduation Day :)

Chaar Kadam

Everyone is talking of being the ear. If this is the start of the change (which I doubt), the lost life brought in some purpose here (nomatter how mean this sounds).
Coming from a background that had seen a suicide due to depression at a pretty young age, mental health has always been taken very seriously in my family, thankfully. Even then, dealing with it is never easy, sharing it is never easy, therapy is never easy, accepting is never easy. I will not talk about how we can be of help to others, the social media has done that enough, I'll just talk about two ways, I could pull myself out of depression, just in case you're reading this, and you need this too, apart from therapy, the proper kind.

2015, I had hit a low beyond imagination. I'm still not okay to discuss why, but that is wherein I started 'Hapiness Program' by the Art of Living. No, not promoting any agenda/group here, but the fact that the Sudarshan Kriya helped me survive that phase has to be acknowledged. We talked of realities, sorrow, pain, and hapiness beyond all of that. Confessing to a group of strangers gave me the courage to talk about things, that I probably could not, to a therapist yet. That is where I started with the habit of acknowledging the privileges in life, from hearing the hell, other have. For anyone reading this and shying to seek medical help, you can start with the Hapiness Program.

2019, I thought I would not survive. I'm not even okay to think of the why, but this is when I started my Toastmasters journey, seriously. Writing has always been liberating to me, but I started to write dark, grey, black around this time, all the time. I felt the same in my head and heart. There seemed to be a no coming back. Toastmasters gave me a platform, where I HAD to write, think and speak positive. A place where every sappy story of mine could be turned into humour/inspiration speech, for my own sake! I took up speech slots, just so I don't think negative, consciously. Speaking to a group of strangers who never judged, helped me from drowning in my own grey. For anyone reading this and shying to seek medical help, you can start with the Toastmasters club.

Also, I'm always around :)

Aakar School

Another artist post alert, not.

This one's for the one who has been a drawing teacher for almost every cousin I have, which is a HUGE number.

For as long as I can remember of living in the red walled Ammabari, and many years after that as a matter of fact, Saturday 8ams would be 'aakar school'.
Basu sir would play the fm, mostly they would play old Nachiketa songs in those days, and we would copy one of this masterpieces. I would always make horrible animal portraits (I still remember making a Cow shaped Dog for one of the year end certification exams and Sir covering up) and Sir would eventually make an outline and tell me to try again.

Today when I picked up a proper drawing copy after more than 10years, I again struggled to make a cat. Somehow managed to put the back profile and somewhere I knew, Basu Sir smiled from heaven.

And just like that, half a decade in this city already, today.

My Heart! :(

A packet of chips made me feel privileged. I left it. I could hardly pay attention to the extensive Eid menu being discussed for Monday. Everything is making me feel privileged, everything is making me feel helpless and sick. I don't even want to get into the loss statistics. I don't even want to get into how useless I feel. I cannot even imagine what the blown away mudhut must have meant to Maya Mashi. I cannot even think how my house now look without the tree in front. Class privilege, yes.
Have been obsessing over Bengal videos and photos since yesterday morning. Took half day off yesterday since I felt sick in my stomach which in turn again made me feel privileged. I was empathetic for all Bengal leaders I had always made fun of.
To keep looking at the phone so that calls from home don't get missed because I cannot call anyone. To wait for news from a home that has no electricity, water or network for slightly more than 3days now. But to still know they're safe, touchwood. Privileged. Very very privileged. I hope this feeling of gratefulness stays and I keep wanting to help the poor and stop the privileged lifestyle even when this passes, if at all this passes. Thank God for a very privileged life. Also, God, please, STOP. Enough thrill already! I don't even. I can't even.

Stay Safe, City! :(

There was once a time when 'Storm Is Coming' was THE title and how I'd wait for opportunities to post it.
Adulthood check: Not a cool thing. Storm.
Figurative, Literal. Nada.

Also hindsight consideration: Stop not wanting to go back to Kolkata. NOW.

Kobi Pronaam and Protijogita Packet Missing

25-e Boishakh!
My wall is all colorful with songs, dances, recitations, drawing. Oh to be a Bangali! ❤️

I took a lot of breaks throughout the day to watch each one and pondered over the childhood Rabindra Jayantis at Shishu Robi club. My father and uncles were always very active members of the club and wanted to me show off my non existent stage skills, every year. And every year, year after year, I would go up on the stage, freeze, and run down eventually. Shesh puroshkar?
Protijogitar jonno luchi torkari and mishtir packet! How I miss the simpler times.
I've never really grown out of the protijogita packets. ❤️

With or without a performance, Kobi Pronaam ❤️

Would you tell him to fare very well?
And that when I said it, I was smiling!
Would you tell him wishes for wedding bell?
And that when I said it, I was smiling!
The world is ramping
The heart is weak
Together or alone
The lights are bleak
Would you tell him he is forgiven?
And that when I said it, I was smiling!
Would you tell him he is forgotten?
And that when I said it, I was smiling!

- Abhishikta

লাল সাদা গামছা

The biggest motivation to stay put here, without totally giving up, far away from home, is to go to the terrace in the evenings and notice the very many লাল সাদা গামছা all around the পারা।
You're not alone!
We're not alone!

Unishey April.
Bujhlen, bujhlen na, bujheo bujhlen na.
So be it :)

Ego boost for people who once made you live cannot really harm much.
So be it :)

Make Me A Channel Of Your Peace?

A mother, too blind.

A teacher, too kind.

Few comments, too grave to pass.

A son, too cheap,

A thought, too deep,

Why don't we teach at home, what we teach in class?

My Alma Mater weeps;

Make me a channel of your peace?

-Abhishikta 

Shine On

"The moon would always remind me of you", he knew.
The beauty,
The passion,
The  glorious compassion.
"How can the moon not remind me of you?", he claimed.

Years in between.
Locked-down, quarantine.

"How can the moon not remind you of me?", she wondered.
The grace,
The light,
The unapologetic bright.
"The moon can never remind you of me", she knew.

-Abhishikta

AMI BARI JABO :"(

Chocolate Pastry!

The lockdown has not been too bad on me (trying my best on the optimistic face). Except for the fact that I could not go home (the worries shall come later), I really am extremely thankful for the food on my plate, and quite a variety of it, the abundance of movies and the neck deep work which leaves very little room to get bored.
However, there definitely has been a lack of all things fish and sweet in Karnataka (privileged statement, I know, I'm sorry, really!). To add to this, there are these million Amul ads these days, where every sweetdish makes me hungry, cranky. I have been craving for a good chocolate pastry ever since the lockdown and tadaa, here comes Ns surprise at my door (not that I appreciate food deliveries at this time). Counting my blessings! I could do a happy tear sprinkle with my hunched back at this. Also, before I jinx this as well, like always. Tweedle dee dum

It's What You Do To Me

One of the first and favorite songs that was ever dedicated to me and all in a very relatable context was Hey There Delilah. Those were very sappy times, I was extremely Bollywood and hopelessly romantic. I ended up spending almost 10days obsessing over
"I'd walk to you if I had no other way", imagining that was possible.

Few more years the same song was again dedicated to me, in a very relatable context while I traveled very far, all by myself, and of course was mourning again. I ended up being very happy over "I'd walk to you if I had no other way" being dedicated to, since I knew she was not too fond of being called Delilah.

Today, it's just a song I sing, miles away from home, knowing I couldn't just walk to anyone.
However, it's what you do to me!
Totally singing it for AV, for pulling it through thick and thin (get the joke!) And everything in between.
It's what you do to me

Quarantining And Bored

I hate people.

I hate dumb people in particular. That includes most of the world so I hate people in general.

Expectations? Quarantine would be easy. But it is not. The workaholic madfuck that I've become, worked 14hours at a stretch for each of the last 3 days and yet the Quarantine is killing me.
I was also going crazy with every sneeze, cough, pimple, motion, headache, backache till today. At a point I was also thinking probably I used to breathe better before, but tomorrow would be the 22nd day back from Thailand, that mostly qualifies me safe for the world.

Forever grateful to B and I for bearing with me. Very irresponsible of me to travel. Accepted. Won't ever admit it in public.
Hence, controlling all the urge to buy one side tickets to Kolkata.

Okay, now I'm just blabbering in boredom.
Baseline, quarantined, bored, hence singing, and missing home of course.
Also, first rain of the year! ^_^
And very glad/thankful to be alive.

Cheese Omelette

Memories are funny things.
They come back in the form of songs, places, person, days, smell, touch!
For me, today, in the form of food.
Cheese Omelette?
Chicken Nuggets?
Priorities Dear Watson!

Boshonto

Spring is an emotion. Boshonto!
There is a particular "final exam" smell in the air. We would always have our school final term exams during Spring, post which there would be a long gap before new session starts. The evenings would be beautiful, after an almost summery humid afternoon. The tree right in front of my window would start its yellow flower distribution and soon, the terrace would become a bed of yellow flowers and dry leaves. The evening sky would have all colors red and orange. I would stroll on the terrace, peep outside the balcony, after my afternoon nap and before starting to study for the exam next day. Soon, Spring would lead way to Kalboishakhi, way before Boishakh, and I would just be happy!
Remembering Kolkata Springs on a Corona lockdown Bangalore, beside a tree with White flowers and yellow evening. Oh Spring!
Bloom in my heart, and stay longer 💛

Happy International "Men Shall Decide" Day

Break. Mourn. Write a speech. Repeat.

People Long Gone, Invariably, Inevitably, Inadvertently, Or Not

Mess

If you ever feel torn,
Come back to me.
If you ever need to mourn,
Come cry to me.
In sicknesses, in healths,
In one course meals, in all the world's wealths.
For betters, for worses,
For northern lights, for festive verses,
If you ever need to live,
Come sing to me.
If you ever need to love,
Come home to me.

-Abhishikta

Bangla Bangali Etc.

Gratitude! The fact that I'm so thankful for it is a problem in itself but I absolutely HAD to mention the wonder, some of the people of Bengal are!

Early morning 6:30 was our train to Bolpur, 26th December, a day after Christmas, and Kolkata winter was at its peak for a change. This was the first time I was supposed to travel by General Class with unreserved tickets because of ticket unavailability. Instead of taking Bolpur express at 7:30, we decided on Kanchenjunga Express of 6:30 since it was an hour before. A train where majority of the people were travelling till Siliguri with immense luggage. I thought it would be fun like standing on the early morning empty Mumbai locals near the door.
Result?
We somehow stood at the door of the General class compartment. This 'standing' was absolutely insane! I had travelled in Bonga local several times before, but this experience was unreal. My mashallah height made everyone around me feel like mountains, people kept 'adjusting' in.  You have to travel in a train like that to know how little space you really need to live!

Wonder One: While I was so irritated at the people getting in over and over again, the others kept adjusting and letting them in. The uncle who sold steel plates, standing beside us, smiled with his pan colored teeth and said "shobai toh Bari jabe, jayga Kore dewai bhalo, Kar ki pelan Bari giye" (everyone has to go home, we have to make space. You never know who has what plans at home). Very nice of him to think that way. I had a moment of self judging. People can really surprise you.

Somehow the train started. I hardly had an inch to breathe. However, there was absolutely zero bad touch, zero trying to have a top view of the girls by the humongous men around. I was counting my hours to Bolpur, two hours!!! There were two young boys, probably workers, almost hanging almost standing at the door of the train who lit biri.

Wonder Two: Some man behind me, I could not even look at his face since there was no space to turn, shouted
"Maiyara asse, biri dhorash Kon shahoshe? Shorkar Mana korse taar upor" ( There are girls, how can you light a bidi. The Government has restricted this as well). There was zero retaliation. These boy immediately threw their bidis off. I felt so safe, so secured in that compartment where I could have been groped. People can really surprise you.

As I started, the fact that I'm thankful for these basic ways of life which should be the norm IS a problem. But since that's a topic for other day and we have miles to go to reach that day, when we feel safe and stop thinking of these incidents as "favours", For now, big shout-out to these wonderful people from that day :)

Pyaaaar

Valentine's Day
What used to be all about finding the perfect white/pink/red top for tuitions.
What used to be the college soulmate getting extra allowance for this day.
What used to be never disregarded despite the aantel inside
To what it has become.

This year however, with S forever gone. With corona virus almost ruining my gift to myself. However,
Almost laal! Lots of food. Airport.

And an ode to Travel. My one true love.
Travel, to fill your soul that's broken.
Travel, to shape your life that's shaken.
Travel, with or without a plan.
Travel, while you still can.

Sunsets!

There is this thing about Karma. People keep telling and singing praises of its existence. It has always slaughtered me in the most hurtful ways possible.
However, there is now, today, that it has for once taken my side. But then, I'm not happy about it. A story which I was made to exit long back approaches a setback. I'm not happy. I should have been.
My current story has already reached a setback. I'm not happy here anyway. By the time Karma does its turn here, I'll be long gone from this zone.
However, extremely thankful for a beautiful sunset, neck deep in water, arms wide open, breezing through the madness that life is.
Oh dear heart! How twisted can you be.
Oh dear heart! How weak can you be.
Oh dear heart! Hold on.

Chapter 4: Stagecoach Bangalore Toastmasters

Mandates :)

1. What did you do in 2019 that you’ve never done before?
Took refuge from social media for good 6months
Asked for rather questionable stuff from random Pahari questionable looking men
Played guide to Maa
Travelled to the highest motorable road in the world
Spoke infront of HUGE audience and felt the happiest ever
Became EC member of Stagecoach TM
Learnt Ukulele
Learnt Cooking proper meals
Went for semi blind dates

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Mentally fitter, so yes resolution kept.
2020, resolution, maybe to judge less and trust more!


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No


4. Did anyone close to you die?
Amma


5. What countries did you visit?
None. But had an excellent travel year. List?
Kolkata, Pune, Satara, Kolkata, Delhi, Bhuntar, Kasol, Tosh, Pondicherry, Kumbakonam, Ladakh, Cochi, Allepey, Pune, Kolkata, Mumbai, Raipur, Bhilai, Yerkaud, Kolkata, Bankura, Shantiniketan


6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?
Let's not jinx it


7. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory?
Not sure on the date, but Wells Fargo Talks finale, clearly!


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finishing 4 levels of Pathways,
Convincing a hall full of people on stories.


9. What was your biggest failure?
None


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Left eye and right toe, quite the constants!


11. What was the best thing you bought?
Diamonds for Maa


12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Zilch


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Same old


14. Where did most of your money go?
Deposit money, brokerage


15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Toastmasters


16. What song/album will always remind you of 2019?
Khush toh hai na


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
1. Happier or sadder? Happier
2. Thinner or fatter? Fatter
3. Richer or poorer? Poorer


18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Dreaming


19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stalking


20. How did you spend Christmas?
Drive through mustard fields of Graam Bangla, had dullops of Gur and mishti, later travelled with A to Bolpur and heard Bauls in endless trance


21. Who did you spend most of the time on the phone with?
Maa. I spent very less time on phone though last year.


22. Did you fall in love in 2018?
No.


23. How many one night stands in this last year?
Oh.


24. What was your favorite Tv programme?
Grey's Anatomy


25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No


26. What was the best book(s) you read?
None read. Still trying to find time to finish Norwegian Woods.


27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Bharat Chauhan


28. What did you want and get?
Got things that I'm grateful for and did not wish for really.


29. What did you want and did not get?
Same old.


30. What were your favorite films?
Uri


31. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
Did not go home. Went to office, did not let people know it's my birthday. Did not do a lot of things. Bangalore folks were too kind though


32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Oh.


33. What would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?
L sized clothes -_-


34. What kept you sane?
Wells Fargo!


35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Christina Yang


36. What political issue stirred you the most?
NRC. Still does.


37. Who did you miss?
A and B (writing the initials for the lack of balls really)


38. Who was the best new person you met?
Alpana (technically I met her in 2018 but this year, in a much better way)


39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019?
Nada, none!


40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
तेरे अपने ही तुझको जलयंगे कुच्छ दिन रोएंगे फिर भुल जयंगे

God-fearing Atheism. Coining.