its 30th of november again... 4 years.... i woke up... decided to finally sit with "S.N.Dey"... n then i realised... its 30th november...

and then... i smsd all the "purono" frndz saying...

"Aaj 30th nvmbr... evrythng chngs so quickly"

most of them replied...but two of them touched me in a weird way...

first one was a 'pointer' who said

"Why wat hpnd? Plz tell me Meri memry is qte weak"... i mean. how the hell did she forget the 'badambhaja' and 'false hair' and 'robotic dance' and 'shaan' and so very many things....

second one was my darling Aritri. Her sms says

"Ryt! Ajkr ei dine kno ek bocjor amra ek scl e portam! Ekshange kto utshaher 7e mddle estrn dnce nechechilam netaji te! N 2dy we al r sitin alone preparn 4 our upcmn maths xam n rst of our lyf. 2dy we dnt knowr we'l go? Wt we'l do? Whether we'l b in tch or nt! Ys evrythn chngs quickly..."

i miss all of you my dears and darlings, even the "pointer" who matters a lot... will write more on this topic after maths exam n yes, this post may not make sense to anyone but Diocinas...

ok i really dnt knw wats wrong wid me bt i've been singing dis super cheesy, super eewy, super disgusting song.... n irritating satabdi....... n nvr bothered 2 go 4 d film coz i hated evrythng abt it... bt still end up singing

"Tu hi meri hai sari zameen
Chahe kahin se chalun
Tujh pe hi aa ke rukun
Tere siva main jaun kahan
Koi bhi raah chunu
Tujh pe hi aa ke rukun
Tum mile to lamhein tham gaye
Tum mile to sare gum gaye
Tum mile to muskurana aa gaya
Tum mile to jadoo chhaa gaya
Tum mile to jeena aa gaya
Tum mile to maine paya hai khuda
Tujh mein kirana dikhe
Dil ko sahara dikhe
Aa mere dhadkan tham le
Teri taraf hi mude
Yeh saas tujhse jude
Har pal yeh tera naam le
Tum mile to abb kya hai kami
Tum mile to duniya mil gayi
Tum mile to mil gaya aasra
Tum mile to jadoo chhaa gaya
Tum mile to jeena aa gaya
Tum mile to maine paya hai khuda
Din mere tujhse chale
Raatein bhi tujhse dhale
Hai waqt tere haath mein
Tu hi shehar hai mera
Tujh mein hi ghar hai mera
Rehta hai tere saath mein
Tum mile to mil gaya humsafar
Tum mile to khud ki hai khabar
Tum mile to ristha sa ban gaya
Tum mile to jadoo chaa gaya
Tum mile to jeena aa gaya
Tum mile to mene paya hai khuda"

n yes yes, u r allowed 2 make faces... even i wonder... "wat d hell is wrong wid my taste"... gross gross gross..... heal ov

You left me indebted

You wake up and reach your cell to send an sms asking “aaj jaabi?” and then you realize…. there’s nowhere to go ... School is over and so is life … and then you walk past those sepia tinted memories and throw your books off… and this time… out of disgust…… sometimes life teaches you more lessons than you need to know


a whiff of nostalgia... a pinch of memory... Adieu Dio
you’ve always been the most important thing….
Over all these years of pnpcs and love and fights and friendships… you’ve been the thing that forever mattered the most…. There’s a relief for having such friends that I forever wanted to have… thank you so much for being the ultimate source of everything that I am, that I have…. You made Me…literally

If only the sheltered years could be longer… and it is not easy to smile when you know the reason for it is gone… Gone are my school days… it takes a long time sometimes for the tears to dry... and then you wonder what it was that made you cry


My land of ME lies behind that door… and I miss it... Oh so much

It's A Love Story

While I started liking the way you call my name, while I started liking you, while I started wondering why the hell am I falling for someone who has all the qualities that I forever hated….

They broke up … they really did….
My ideal couple is no more a couple and while she spends every moment staring at the cell wising for an sms saying “it was a prank”, I can’t help but hate my “cute” lil favourite lover….

MEN ARE DOGS…. Our latest way of putting everything… but at the end of the day… I question all over it again and can’t help singing again

“You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess,It's a love story, baby, just say yes”
but somewhere in my heart I know, life is not a fairy tale and no body can make it one… but yet again I sing it probably for the 10021st time

"We were both young, when I first saw you.

I close my eyes and the flashback starts-

I'm standing there, on a balcony in summer air.

I see the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.

I see you make your way through the crowd-

You say hello, little did I know...

That you were Romeo,

you were throwing pebbles-

And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet"-

And I was crying on the staircase-begging you, "Please don't go..."

And I said...

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.

I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess,

It's a love story, baby, just say yes.

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.

We keep quiet, because we're dead if they knew-

So close your eyes...

escape this town for a little while.

Oh, Oh.

Cause you were Romeo - I was a scarlet letter,

And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet" -

but you were everything to me-

I was begging you, "Please don't go"

And I said...

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.

I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.

It's a love story, baby, just say yes-

Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel.

This love is difficult, but it's real.

Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess.

It's a love story, baby, just say yes.

Oh, Oh......."

and wish you would sing the last lines,

"Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.

I love you, and that's all I really know.

I talked to your dad -- go pick out a white dress

It's a love story, baby just say... yes."

God Bless Aritri............

"There are moments of such pure, sublime, unparalleled perfection that they
will force you to close your eyes and hold on to them as best you can."

And inspite of everything
I hate to see the hatred in your eyes
I hate to see the brightness in his....
All...


For Me

Happy Puja To All

Come September, come Autumn time… Harsh summer is long gone, relentless monsoon season is almost over. The sky started changing colour from dusky angry grey to a turquoise blue, with puffs of white clouds like cotton balls, cotton-candy world, you could actually pick them and eat. The paddy fields are well-nursed from stagnant rain-water and acres of kash pool er khet are sights worth a million bucks.The soft glow of the sun, the mellowed heat, the robust wind, little less rain each day, little more winter each week.With the wind comes the sound of Drums. Faint at first, then picks up momentum and impetus as time approaches for the ten days of Durga Puja.The Goddess with her four children visits Earth, her father’s home every year from Her Husband Shiva's house in the Himalayas. So the legend goes. Mahishashoora Mardini, the slayer of the demons, the saviour of mankind. Mother God. The much awaited festival for the Bengalis.A month ago, the Kumartuli, the sculptors gather the special mud from the river Ganges to make the statue. One month or so. The Goddess takes form from formless mud and clay. Like a woman being born out of nothing. Born and re-born, in each one of them,in womanhood, in marriage, in childbirth. Colour, drapes, jewels, and the smile.Mother of Earth.Road blocking starts as pandaals starts to rise, take shape, ornamental homes for Her Majesty. Welcome the Goddess to her father's house, the Earth. Work slows, puja shopping begins, traffic rises like high tide, rivers of cars, buses, trams. Puja Shopping, after or before Puja bonus, taking place in full swing and of course “chada collection”.Its a matter of time now, the ten days to come, Day one starts with Mahalaya, a homage to the Goddess and holidays in schools. The face of the Goddess is hidden till the sixth day. And then on the last of the four days, the unveiling starts.Mad Frenzy begins, more than a religious fervour or dedication, it's the joy of celebration. An occasion for all, from morning till night and then the next 3 days of grandeur.The sound of drums take a deafening pitch.Acrid smoke from the yagna fill the air, lighting in the streets, in the side lanes, lights, sounds, scent, all to create an ambience, unseen and unheard off, anywhere in the world.Happy faces.Shining eyes.New dress every day. The crowded street of exuberant people, with pride, with love, with fervour.The drums beat relentlessly, vibrating the sentiments associated with a much awaited festival of the year.The sober “Ashtami’r Anjali”,the spiritual aroma of the “dhup”, the flaunting sarees, the girls’ checking out the “kartiks” in the crowd, the hand in hand romance of Maddoz Square, the “ shidur khela” , the “ashchhe bochhor aabar hobe” ……. outshines the rest.In the tenth day the curtain falls, the Goddess has to go back to where she came from. After the final biding rituals, the idol of the Goddess is immersed in the River Ganges, a little rise in the level of pollution in the seas , every year. Like Sati, she goes into the river.Drums die.Silenced for another whole year.All in the City of Joy.So, while the puja mania has just begun, let me wish you all a very happy puja.Enjoy
God Bless You All

Rain

It's raining right now,
With water drops glistening on the window panes,
Wasing the soul and rejuvinating desires,
Long abandoned by the sanes.

It's raining right now,
With drops glistening on the cheek.
Celebrating the failure
Of not acquiring what the heart seeked.

It's raining right noe,
And feelings are so pure.
Wish mascara being washed off,
Exposing the real self for sure.

It's raining right now,
But soon it will fade away,
With the fake smile returning,
When the sun will dry away the day.

-Abhishikta Chakraborty

pretest saga

phew....

while the world mugs, i blog

and no there's nothing to be proud about it but somehow, i don't feel like studying.... why do they need to take tests by the way????????


maa followed by satabdi are going insane saying "ektu por" but somehow... i end up sleepimg for hours....

the school management has lost it... i wonder how did they manage to finish almost 90% of the syllabus in 3.5 months of school with summer vacation, school quiz preparations, debates, independence day preparation and a hell lot of politics... and before i could realise I see the pretest routine....

and nisha broke the news to me...
english and evs exam (EVS??? SHETA ABAR KI?)
no holiday before maths (WHAT???)
and the rest bit of shit......
wtf???? yes shout out loud people.... WHAT THE F****


i fail to make everybody understand that i don't study coz its not worth it... even if i try.. i won't be able to complete any bit of the syllabus.... and i'm hating the fact.....

and on top of everything when the person who matters the most calls you after 6 months and ends up saying "don't let me down"... it hurts... badly..
and nomatter how much i put up a brave face... the unavoidable fear crepts in...
of the world knowing the real me...
of the world knowing the real me...
of the world knowing the real me...

sigh... i wish i was suffering from that flu

moi... a cheap cheap girl

I've read lovestories and some more of them and dreamt and dreamt and dreamt until the last few days which have made me confused, sad and what not……………
I keep telling to myself rather asking “Is this love???” and keep answering “No it is not… it really is not… the ‘cheap’ air has infected your soul ov… this is not love”

I really hope that it is not… I’ve always hated low waist jeans and spelling mistakes and people calling me “Avi” and not "Abhi" and weird English and over smart guys and guys with rumaal 24/7 and guys giving me attention and what not but today…. Sigh

Two numbers have turned my life upside down… 3 and 5………..
It might not make sense to you and Satabdi might fall off the chair after reading this.. but
Yeah… 3 sucks and so does 5………

And I fell off from the cheap zone but may be not……….
I’m so ashamed of ‘Pride’ and so disgusted with the ‘Sun’
Heal Ov………..

Happy Birth Day Lord Krishna and I still think that yours is one of the few love stories which made makes and will continue to make sense

to all the readers who already consider me as a ‘cheap’ wannabe… Get A Life........ and as Shreemoyee suggested... let me sing out aloud..

I'm not in love It's just a phase that I'm going through

Kishore Kumar

i've been singing a few particular lines for the last 2-3days continuously...24/7 and driving maa and satabdi nuts... hats off to the mr kk... happy birthday sir.... and thank you for the wonders that you created...

and to all those who matters...............

Tu jo kahe jeevan bhar,
Tere liye main gaaoon
Tere liye main gaaoon.

Geet tere bolo pe,
Likhta chala jaaoon,
Likhta chala jaaoon

..

Happy Friendship Day

wishing you all a very happy friendship day (belated) .....

thanks for being there dears and darlings.......... thanks for putting up with a moron like me.... thanks for making life worth living... god bless you all...

love

someone somewhere said.......

"There are four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for? and, What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Love."

and i say... "how true"

Be GAY and Happy

soumyaditya's sms said... " dat karan johar apni frustration nikaal ne ke liye aise picture e banata hain aur our law hs gone insane watchin them"

i was not very shocked at his reaction.... most of my friends feels the same way.... but hello world..... go and be literate ...

since i'm from a girls' school... i've seen lesbians for quite some time so this whole idea is not alien to me and i firmly believe that we are nobody to judge anyones sexual orientation.... homosexuality is not a crime and i am proud of the fact that our govt' has finally accepted it....

no one said that because we are born heterosexuals, other alternate sexuality is banned. i know my post will invite wrath from most homophobic males and females alike... as if i care moron......

being so called "straight" it was hard on me to understand fully what exactly it meant when i was younger but as i grew up... i realised and learnt to understand that it is not a matter of 'choice' but it is 'natural' like it is for us.

if you are one of those who believe that Gays and Lesbians and Transsexuals are are aliens from another planet who contaminate our normal life.. then please go get a life and find a valuable way to rot on planet earth.

Be Gay and let other be GAY

MISS YOU

its strange when i look back and find that the persons who mattered the most are no more around.......... you two were my favourite teachers.... honestly.... and most of my principles are yours.........

.

The way you left Dio and Kolkata and everything else for being with the person you love really is an example ….. the more I talk about you the more I feel the lump…..
Many mails which starts with “dearest Abhishikta” are what I am left with today…. Miss, I miss you…. Love you … the most .

.

The way you gave up the job you gave your blood, sweat and love to just to save your self respect and did not let anybody know the reason behind it and never got back to that gutter is commendable…hats off to you… Just a few sms’ that always starts with “hi dear” are what I am left of you today but you are still special to me… the first teacher ever who taught me to think the other way… miss you miss… HAPPY B’DAY.

.

and whenever i am down.. just the thought of you two... or an hour or two over your photos cheers me up... thank you... for everything........... and if there is anyone in this universe i love and respect the most other than Maa... its you two... I don't know if it matters much... but anyway.... somehow i feel... you two made me me............ there are things and conversations and incidents that cannot be shared here.... but anyway......... your sms and mail today which came together as a pleasant surprise forced me to write this and i want to write more and more about you two but somewhere i know.... its not the right place or the right way.......................

.

dear readers... this post was not meant to make sense to you.... don't comment if you have something mean or stupid to say.... its a request...

Abhishikta

i still can't believe that he is no more...

Singer, Beatboxer, Composer, Lyricist, Producer, Arranger, Instrumentalist ,Performer, Dancer , Choreographer, Actor, Video Innovator, Video Director, Stage designer, Fashion / Costume Designer, Stylist, Poet, Essayist, Writer... KING OF POP............ a Rebel.......

he dared to be different......

Goodbye MJ

May your soul rest in peace

Love

Summer Of '09

the title is directly lifted from Debayudh's profile....


no... I won't write about the much cursed summer of '09 (as Debayudh calls it) but yeah Shreemoyee's call last night made me realize that this actually is our last summer vacation.....
I know that they have vacations at colleges as well but nothing like school vacations during summer with nothing to study (for students like us), at times boring, at times full of adda... but this year... is the last time for all of that...........


Life has been tough for the last one and a half year.... with school becoming more of torture and less of 'life', with friends turning to persons i never knew..... but somewhere somehow... the 2nd last day of the last summer vacation of my life rather 'school life' is making me sad and nostalgic and what not.....



10 years from now... i might sing the bryan adam's song and remember today and the summers that have passed by...

• with movies being watched
• with 'mela's being visited
• with icecreams and 'kulfi's everyday
• with sweat and sums being synonymous
  
• with loadsheddings
• with 'aila'
• with hours over the phone
• with nights over orkut and facebook
• with storybooks and poems
• with some new linkups
• with some breakups
• with election and traffic
• with "choitro sale"
• with 'bikeler hawa'
  
• with 'dilse' and 'between the sheets'
• with friends
• and a hell lot of togetherness

I love you all... whoever was/is with me, for me, whosoever in whatsoever way.... Thank you all.



This summer has been special... very special in its own small way.... and thank you every one for making it worth remembering hamesha.... muaah

Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

This week’s chemistry class made me really really depressed. After listening to sir’s bit of shit of 33 of his students passing the IIT entrance test and too many of nine point some ones…. I was pissed and while I turned to Roshni to gossip about these ‘nerds’, I saw her wide smile as she listened motionless to sir… and I was sure that she was dreaming of the same happening to her the following year………

I turned around………there were almost 50 pairs of eyes which were glowing and necks nodding at the 98 and 97 and 100 of dadas and didis who took the H.S. exam this year and nobody except moi had eyes half popped out at those marks as they all had an expression which said “that’s the way marks should be”

After three sips of water… and many sighs and uffs and phews….. when I was almost drowning to lala land, sir finally stared teaching with his … “eita ekta proshno holo?” ,“IIT te shoja proshnoi hoy” and stuff…….. whatever he taught had absolutely nothing to do with Higher Seconday exam….the taught bullcrap which seemed to everyone else as………… ‘wateva!!!’ for sure with Sumit and Bindita and Roghumoy and Srija and Reetam and Anwesha and Nandini and the rest of the future IIT and AIIMS and MIT and JU students, having a content face unlike mine which said "when will the class end?"….

and just to remind Satabdi and myself.... aaj 1st june.... porte boshar kotha chhilo aaj theke and look.... we yet again did not.... the record continues....

Cheers ;)

.

weird timing.......... it had to be shreemoyee......

when i took the call.... there was no "ki korchhiiish" (her usual dialogue)

she said: "listen ov i really need to tell you this (she went on without giving me a chance to respond) ..... you are my first best friend and i think you need to know this first................."

no i won't write the rest but the starting diagolue really made me numb............ its not that i don't know what she is to me or what i am to her but yeah... knowing it all over again made me happy.... rather very happy........

and if you are just about to comment... with a snobbish face and mind... don't even bother to do it....

Adieu

Because you were there,
I got one more reason to smile,
I got one more friend to high five,
I got one more shoulder to shed my tears,
I got one more gem to call me ‘dear’.
.

Because you won’t be there,
I’ll lose all that till now I called ‘life’
I’ll lose the advice to strive,
I’ll lose the shouts when I’m wrong,
I’ll lose the inspiration to be so strong.
.

You came, you conquered,
Touched our hearts to the core.
Oh, my favourite teacher,
I wish I could know you a little more.
.

-Abhishikta Chakraborty

yippie.............. i'm finally going tomorrow.... but the only bad part is.... prepaid doesn't work there... wtf.........how will i manage? being completely out of touch with 'my' world is something i have not experienced for quite some time now..
.
.
.
.
.

and in case i die....... please do the following........

• Prerna please arrange "shukto" and "chhanar dalna" for Shreemoyee and "chingri maachh" for Satabdi in my "shraddho"...
• Satabdi just tell Ritwika why I was so upset with her and shall forever be if I come back... but yeah... she is special....... you can add a few 'very' to it
• Please make sure that M.S. Jahan stays happy hamesha......
• Satabdi present a "be together always" card to Sayanee and Rik on my behalf
• Pataofy Aritri's mom
• Shreemoyee... tell R about me.............

.

.

.

thats it.... thanks everyone for being there.... i hope to see you all in 10 days... but in case i don't... miss me..

and Shreemoyee and Satabdi and Ritwika and Debjani and Munnididi and Mejdamoni and Chintudada...love you all........

.

don't cry Prerna... love you too ;P

Bbye.... (thats what Abira miss said and never came back to Dio) so......

'See You' everyone... in 10 days... hopefully :)

Love

Ov

The Thin Line

Tue- Physics Class at around 6:40 pm
Me whispering to Satabdi :

"Janish....There is a very thin line between being 'unimportant' and 'unwanted'....."

and I knew by her expression that she agreed totally.... our Physics sir's next dialogue "Abhishikta onko ta hoyechhe?"... stopped me from continuing on .... so here it is.

.

.

.

There really is a very very thin line between being unimportant and unwanted... i don't know which way it hurts more... but either ways... it tears one to pieces.... with a feeling that cannot be expressed... a sense of humiliation, a sense of disappointment, a sense of shock, a sense of realisation and a sense which tells you that whatever happened over those years of togetherness and understanding and whosoever you thought completes your world never existed.... or rather you never existed for them............ here comes another hypocrisy.............. i have always believed in 'unconditional love'... in whichever way...... but yeah... when you get back everything that only existed in your worst nightmares... you kind of question yourself all over again.

.

.

.

The worst part is when you stand on the line and the mess around you makes things worse than ever.

.

.

.

I want to write more but I won't...because it's not worth it.... it really is not.

.

.

.

Dear readers.... if this did not make sense to you.... nevermind... because it was never meant to ....and "*******".... I'm very disappointed with.... Ah...forget it... as always.

.

Stay Happy

Your Beloved

I am ,

Some one who did not care,
To pay back your innumerable debts,
Your beloved… daughter.

Someone who forgot,
About all the promises of good old days,
Your beloved… friend.

Someone who talked behind your back
And never left a chance to let you down,
Your beloved… student.

And today,
Shamelessly I declare,
That I still am,
And no matter what,
Shall forever be

Your beloved.

-Abhishikta Chakraborty

Until...

this was the first poem by me which was published in voices... i still remember the day... during my class x 'test'...... this poem brings back good memories....


Life was blessing,
All was well
Until...

Everyone seemed nice,
In my heart they dwelt
Until...

Life's crossroads were far off,
The pitfalls seemed distant,
The tentions and shocks were miles away,
The relations were not strained,
Until...

All was perfect,
On persons I used to depend,
There was not a nanosecond of loneliness,
Everything caused the love and friendship to deepen,
Until...

Yes,
To the happines, to the laughs,there was no stop,
Until...
The masks fell off.

-Abhishikta Chakraborty

"Mathematics is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated."


wondering at new aantelish self??? nah guys.. my maths sir gave this dialogue today... early in the morning... 7:30... yes thats early morning for me...and i suddenly 'woke up' ... i couldn't help admiring the idea...


yes... i love love and as a matter of fact i love maths (don't make that face satabdi and don't go by my marks friends) but it keeps getting complicated...

Help Me Win

Hold my hand and walk with me through life,
Its dark and lonely,
Help me to survive

Wake me up, I’ve been sleeping too long,
Living in a dreamscape
Where I don’t belong.

Whisper a song into my ears,
And with your gentle touch
Wipe my tears

I’m fading away, call my name,
I’m forced to play
Life’s unfair game.

Open the door and let me in,
Let me find the light within.
Oh please, help me win.

-Abhishikta Chakraborty

Am I Worth It?

strangely enough ... i saw that prerna has created a blog as well........ her first post says

"its for the one who is my inspiration of creating this blog...


abhishikta...this is for u....."










i am deeply touched dear..... and i keep asking myself the question all over again... am i worth it?

i mean... look at me??? short, ugly, fat, boisterous.....a loser who doesn't accept and therefore speaks random shit just to hide the deep dark secrests of being another dimbo.... am i really worth it all?



thanks prerna... today was one of my utter gloomy days but your post made me smile... thanks "hubby" :P hugs

I've always hated the two words.......girlfriend and boyfriend....I think it sounds really down market and cheap..........For all those with a ‘what an aantel’ look at me right now….. “my man”, “my girl” sounds just perfect.... don’t they??????????

wait a minute... don't even bother to answer if you don't agree because i hate arguing with idiots

I Wonder If This Is Love

I'M SORRY IF THIS POST HURTS ANYBODY... I RESPECT ALL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AND I KNOW I AM NOBODY NO COMMENT... I'M SORRY FRIENDS.... I HAD NO INTENTION OF DISRESPECTING ANYONE.... GOD BLESS YOU ALL... SORRY AGAIN

ok... this is something i wanted to write about long time ago but never got enough substance and i still don't have it but somehow.... i need to write about it..... the persons i'll mention the name of, please pardon me because i had no better examples.....

the following few things are tormenting me....

• ok... sid is someone i totally respect for his love. he is truly, madly, deeply in love with decencydi.... god bless them....its kind of strange and really brings the lump to my throat to see their love suceed irrespective of the thousands of obstacles starting from sid’s mom to long distance relationship to what not… I totally respect their love but somehow I feel that sid’s side of love is way more…. I’m, sorry if you are reading this….but yes, I do thik you love decencydi more….i really wish and hope and pray to see them together "forever".... siddharth's one of the shortest bit of the thousands of notes and posts and poems and videos and photos says "its kinda hard trying to smile sometimes when ye know its gonna be a while before ye see the reason again!".... now i fell for that..... trust me, both of you deserve all that you ever want... god bless!!!
• rik's recent post "...I was the one whose soul is being tormented by such ideas, by these ceaseless pangs, when perhaps she was oblivious to my absence, she perhaps was not feeling it as much as I did, perhaps she was not as restless as I am,..." now.... in their case, as amatter of fact i know that rik loves sayanee way more... nomatter how much sayanee get depressed and down after the shreya addya incident.... the fact that sayanee is an old friend and therefore more close doesn't change the fact that rik's side of love is far more... but yes, i know sayanee too feels deeply for him....so good luck to you too..... hope to see you together forever.
• sangborto "abhi, aami ria'r shathe break up kore nebo"....." .... i was like wtf dude.... this must be the 110th time of your make and break up.... in their case... i was more concerned about ria because ria is deeply in love with him and i'm sure she won't be able to take it... in thier case... ria's side of love is greater and great.... nevermind... good luck both of you... and this time..... hope to see you happy 'saath saath or alag alag'... HAPPY DILSE..
• i bet you would have slapped munnididi if you could see the way she behaves with "***" da ..... i mean look at him... ever so commited... the ultimate brother (in-law), the ultimate lover but no... her hopes and expectations from him never seems to end.... but they are together... commited.... though he seems or rather is way more commited and his 'babai' 's search seems no end...... i know she is my sister and i completely love her for what she is... i really pray and hope that i can officially call "***"da... jijs
• "x"'s love for honeydi and her rejection was one of the most pathetic and touchy love story ever.... i won't write more about it since i should not.... but yes.... x's love really deserves a bow
• look at deep, nerd turned poet and satabdi doesn't seem to care... i mean she does... but the practicalities are making her take the 'right' decisions which i would have taken as well but i (and i know even she) feel(s) bad for deep who is still counting on her and hoping for something thats impossible..... i know deep's side of love is poetically beautiful and satabdi's decision is practically correct... life is hard... may you two take the best decision... god bless!!!

ok.... i can go on writing about this forever since i have endless examples.... but my question is.... why is it so that in any relationship one side always overpowers the other? one side looks ever so commited and the other just seem ok to carry the 'baggage' of love? is it the sole reason for the attraction? and everything? why can't i see equal depth in both the partners? is something wrong with me... the never experienced moron in this field? or is it the normal nature of puppy love? why is it so different from the kind of love i always thought of?should i be happy being single?

i wonder why all good things come with a pinch of salt.... but yeah... salt or withou salt.... where's my DISH???

hey i've passed... what a relief.... i'm finally going up to xii.... got 71 pc... yes......

YES YES YES!!!

:(

"ei message eshchhe"............... my msg tone made me jump out of bed today at 11:00 in the morning.... noon.... whatever... its was from satabdi which said...

"janish dona xii e otheni"

ok... Dona is our friend who joined carmel high school in xi...... today they had their result and she was not promoted to class xii..... gosh... shit... hell... no!!!

what do i say.. i mean what am i expected to say... ok i've known dona for ages and i very well know the fact that she is not all that good in studies.... we all were shocked when she took up science but.... none of us thought of such a thing...... dona's boyfriend needs a good thrashing... he has been diverting her quite a lot... but hello..... the end of the story remains the same..... dona is not going up to xii..............

ok let me be honest here.... am not so much vocal today for dona's sake only..... dona's flunking in finals has made me shiver.... we'll be shown our exam copies tomorrow and what if i?????????????????????????

"kabhi waqt pe kabhi halat pe rona aaya

baat nikli to har baat pe rona aaya

kaun rota hain dusro ke liye aye dost

hume apni hi kisi baat pe rona aaya"

.... every year i do my bit of dhong saying "ebar pash korbona" but this time.... i'm really scared.... to the core..... i remember how every day i went to take the exams with a prayer to get a mininmum of 30..... but after the exams were over, i thought that i might pass but after hearing about dona .... i am depressed, scared and what not................ is there oxygen around you??? its nowhere around me.... i feel suffocated and semidead.... help me god....

all my bindas attitude has gone down the drains and i dont care ..... yes i'll burst out crying at any moment and am too ashamed to do so.....

this might be my last post............. if i dont write back again.... just know it in your heart that i'm dead (though i lack the courage to die and cry) but as for now.... please pray for me... "kal khata dekhabe" :(

Election and Kolkata

yes.. as every body knows... i am in love with kolkata and every aspect of it.... but yesterday's "padajatra" of a political party irritated me a hell lot...i had to stand in the crowd for no bloody reason for about an hour.... just for the fact that her highness was making vote appeals............ and i missed my maths class.

now... i neither have anyting against any political party nor am i so damn 'nerdish' that missing one maths class is tearing me to pieces but.... hello dude... standing for an hour and listening to that crap sucks....

traffic jam, 'maramari', swearing at each other, false promises... aka election time at kolkata really takes away many smiles with it........... heal Kolkata!!!

Reunion

yesterday, 14th of april... we had our reuinon.... the whole of XB (2007-08) were supposed to be present and around 20-30 (expected) ones turned up.... the absence of Satasree and Sucheta shocked me (unlike the absence of many others) a hell lot... while many said "they've changed" i couldn't help saying, "how could they?" rather "thay can't"

never mind... we had a blast.... even the most insignificant figures of the class seemed such a good friend after so so many days.... Debosmita commented at Samragni and Jhilik's age old " behka hain mann kahi" and Adi's" hips don't lie" moves as " keo change hoini"..... yes... how true.......... everybody seemed just they way they were a year ago... when things were different.... when we were together for things like................

saving sejuti from punishments,

making up instant stories after breaking the blackboard thrice to mrs. bhuniya,

cheering during the catfight between Roudri and Sucetana, and so many things

i still remember how sad i was when my section was changed in viii but today i thank mrs. agarwal for doing so for it gave me wonderful friends and made shreemoyee as close as close could be (no puns intended)

now coming back to the long forgotten topic............

i had a blast... enjoyed every bit ofit and totally agree to Srijani..............

yes, we thought we love Dio and the past year made us hate it but after meeting LIFE we realised that it was not Dio we were in love with but it was US .... the tie which made us jump at the morning alarm which seems th worst thing ever these days, which made us laugh at our red marks which today gathers 'you are a bad girl' look

love you all.... muaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh