:(

"ei message eshchhe"............... my msg tone made me jump out of bed today at 11:00 in the morning.... noon.... whatever... its was from satabdi which said...

"janish dona xii e otheni"

ok... Dona is our friend who joined carmel high school in xi...... today they had their result and she was not promoted to class xii..... gosh... shit... hell... no!!!

what do i say.. i mean what am i expected to say... ok i've known dona for ages and i very well know the fact that she is not all that good in studies.... we all were shocked when she took up science but.... none of us thought of such a thing...... dona's boyfriend needs a good thrashing... he has been diverting her quite a lot... but hello..... the end of the story remains the same..... dona is not going up to xii..............

ok let me be honest here.... am not so much vocal today for dona's sake only..... dona's flunking in finals has made me shiver.... we'll be shown our exam copies tomorrow and what if i?????????????????????????

"kabhi waqt pe kabhi halat pe rona aaya

baat nikli to har baat pe rona aaya

kaun rota hain dusro ke liye aye dost

hume apni hi kisi baat pe rona aaya"

.... every year i do my bit of dhong saying "ebar pash korbona" but this time.... i'm really scared.... to the core..... i remember how every day i went to take the exams with a prayer to get a mininmum of 30..... but after the exams were over, i thought that i might pass but after hearing about dona .... i am depressed, scared and what not................ is there oxygen around you??? its nowhere around me.... i feel suffocated and semidead.... help me god....

all my bindas attitude has gone down the drains and i dont care ..... yes i'll burst out crying at any moment and am too ashamed to do so.....

this might be my last post............. if i dont write back again.... just know it in your heart that i'm dead (though i lack the courage to die and cry) but as for now.... please pray for me... "kal khata dekhabe" :(