Ignorance is Bliss

Pass.
Megha hurriedly exclaimed and called the best friends to know about their first Semester engineering results. The best friend had flunked Physics. Shit. The close friend also flunked Physics. The neighbor flunked Physics. HolyShit. Anyway now she HAD to know Abhishek’s result, the guy who took her heart away. Way out? Facebook!
Yes he’s online, YES he’s online.
Megha was happy and she asked him ‘Kemon holo?’
A very wannabe-cool Abhishek replied ‘Dunno, ignorance is bliss’
Now, Megha was his young little girl, straight out of school and all the shin and shine of ‘coolness’ blew her mind. She kept on thinking of Abhishek the entire night. How cool he is who did not even check his result even though he knew 80% people flunked in Physics and her? She did all the superstitious nonsense that she could, to pass.
In movies they show right? One definite moment when the crush becomes the love and violins will play and butterflies will fly around? It was somewhat that for Megha.

While climbing down the stairs and telling Narmada about the late night Conjuring experience (Late night, check, but then, THIS movie, anyway) the topic of something demonic came up and she said ‘Shhh shhh, ignorance is bliss’.
Thus I went back to the Megha and Abhishek tales from my college days. Megha, who died a sad death later and Abhishek, who, touchwood is going to live happily ever after. Let’s not get into how and what happened, but have you ever acknowledged how one small incident in life can remind you of people and things so randomly.
You didn’t know the story right? Or you be the forgetful blessed category? Oh nah, today and forever, for everybody’s sanity,
Ignorance is bliss

Aaj Kuch Toofani Karte Hain

Okay yeah, a very very hyped up and pumped up title for this level trek but trust me, it’s something I am going to remember for a very long time.

As briefed, we started off for Anthergange at 10pm. Ria somewhere announced while the traveler started to cross the Silkboard Signal that ‘Hey guys, amra by the way Kuntibetta jachhi’ and we, as nice friends were still fine, as long as we still have the night trek swag. Food and some more food rounds later, at around 12:30, we still found ourselves at the Banshakri empty crossing. Why? Because Ria cannot be stern to anybody but me. Yeah! Let’s not get into this.

I was a little skeptic the moment our driver said that we won’t take the Kanakpura road because I was sure we would cross Guruji’s ashram on the right. Ajay kept on telling me I have trust issues. However, past Mysore road, past Rasta café, past Sholay hills of Ramnagara, we found ourselves at the Sula Vineyards. Now, I remember eating away Ankita’s head to come with m to the Nasik Sula Vineyards but then, when you find yourself on such a pitch dark night in the middle of the vineyard, it can be a little scary. However, the 9 of us got down for briefing and tea (chips and extra fat for me). Last time washroom scene and final 20kilometers later, we reached our base destination. For all those who actually read and remembered, no we did not reach Kuntibetta, we reached Narayangiri instead. And yes, Ria booked treks randomly, after shots, and, has no idea :D

Next was about 1.5 hours trek, with a backpack, a sleeping bag, shared torch and danda! Bangalore has been finally seeing a lot of rain lately and hence, rocks were slippery and rock gaps were muddy. I remembered Maa who told me one million times to buy trek shoes that morning  and I was too paka and went on with the converse. Mothers, how they always are right. However, I was tired within the first 10 minutes. It was very very sweet of Ajay to go I front and then come back after every couple of minutes to make sure everyone was in line. Last 30 minutes, although looked the easiest, was a little tough, for the rocks were slippery and there was no place for the grip of the danda. Also, the water on the rocks and my converse were not the best of friends. Add this to low placed and semi circular one sided railings to half formed steps at night, it was more dangerous than what it sounds. I stopped to look at the distant Ramnagara village’s few white lights. Nishita kept on telling me not to stop but I could not take my eyes off the view behind. Not even the Kolkata aerial view at night looked that perfect.

Panting and tired, we reached the hill top. There was bonfire and few other groups. No, we could not check the boys, or the girls for that matter since we were freezing already. Our little stunt of carrying on, on one corner of the hill top was flop and soon, we were all inside the sleeping bags, under the stars. I remember sleeping under the stars on a khatiya  at Dongargarh when I was a kid but that was nothing compared to this. Somebody said it was like a proper ZNMD moment but not just because I hate Katrina, it WAS a much better experience than what they showed or tried showing in the movie. I was at absolute peace when there was music from JBL, silence otherwise and a millions stars up above the world so high.

We of course missed the sunrise, woke up with clouds and fog all around because it was time for descent. Going down was more difficult because now, in light, we knew how narrow or steep the way was. Maybe I’m not fit for this but my legs shook the moment I stopped walking. And yes of course, in the last and final jump from the last rock to plain land, I tripped and fell with a knee bruise to remember the trek :)

After breakfast, these website people upgraded us to a free Kayaking at Manchanbele (okay so Ria is not that high and lost after all). Yay Yay Yay. This followed by a jump to the river. Yes it was deep and yes I had life jacket. Also, yes, I jumped various times in the wrong technique. Body pain? Leg pain? Arm pain? Yes, all of those followed from Monday morning after the night sleep and I had trouble taking a simple step. But those of course came later, I had just made great memories and checked a few items from the wishlist.

Night under stars. Check.
Jump in the river. Check.
And,
Oh did I miss writing about this meeting with a snake during the night trek? Ha Ha Ha.

:)

2 Years! Woah

As Blue As It Had Been In My Dreams

And if you have one last chance of learning something from somebody’s mistake, learn from mine and NEVER ever visit Kanyakumari in summer.
It’s a nice place otherwise if you are travelling with family but if you are a group of friends, not quite the ideal place.

The water here is Blue and you have to see it to believe that I have not exaggerated at all. Do not even plan to stay anywhere that does not have AC if you are travelling at any point of the year except for winters. The local Auto-walas and Cab-walas could trick you a little here so brush up your bargaining skills before talking to them, unless you are exceptionally ready to spend unnecessarily.

There are two basic “touristy things” that you can do here, one is to visit the Vivekanada Memorial and the other is to watch the sunrise/set or both. My friends and I as Bengali-s were extremely happy to find a large stretch of Bengali food joints and people speaking Bengali, and Tamil of course. The Vivekanada Memorial is exactly how you have seen it in the post cards and Google images and yes, without any tinge of editing the water surrounding it looks that blue.

The Vivekananda Rock is situated mid water. The line for the water taxi that takes you to and from this place could be long so plan our time properly. Do not be as foolish as us and always carry/wear socks when you visit here because the Vivekananda Rock is expected to be explored bare foot and God Bless your bare feet in the heat that the rock absorbs and gives out eventually. No foot spa and pedicure will bring back the old state of the feet later, I warn thee :P
There is a very peaceful and beautiful meditation hall inside and if the loud tourists cooperate, you can actually find a little peace within very short span of time in the meditation hall.

If you can wake up early, you must not miss the sunrise. Most of the hotels would have a sea facing balcony/terrace and you need not travel too far to enjoy the beautiful sunrise. We missed the sunset by 3 minutes after getting misguided by a local cab driver regarding the sunset point, anyway, the ambience and breeze right after the sunset was beautiful enough. So another lesson from our mistake, plan your time and do not miss the sunset. We also rode this super slow road trams (I do not know the proper name ;) ).

Since we had half a day more to explore, we also visited a few temples, attended Sunday service at a local church and finally visited an old fort surrounded by water on three sides. It was amazing to see how nicely it is maintained still. Too much of coconut water for hydration and last minute beachside shopping ended out trip. There is nothing great about Kanyakumari but then, you can always travel here once, for the blue sea and beautiful sunrise and/or sunset at least :)

Six Months Later

…while I was waiting an endless wait on one such Friday night and people casually left because they forgot, I waited till there was no hope left in the office and no food in the locality but EcoSpace looked just so pretty.

Six months later,

Not half as happy or excited as I thought I would be but yeah, some ego boost there.
JGD :)

And now I know why Angana was sulking about waiting for the important ‘firsts’ for soooo long that it does not matter as much as it should have.
Anyway, EcoSpace on Friday nights continue to look its prettiest best.

Hence :)

Year Two

Careful what you wish for they say. I wished to post this song someday. Okay, definitely no firang angle to it like I had expected, nevertheless. The song :')

So a year of blood and sweat and tears and what not. Still do not know where to be happy or sad about it. Still do not know if I love or hate it. Experiences quite a lot, good, bad, ugly and VERY ugly. However, here’s welcoming year 2 with many eye brow lifts. I wanted to write more but, anyway.

Bangalore, behave.

Rainy Day Days? Almost. Happy? HAHAHA. Anyway. Welcome Friday :)

Bangalore felt like Bangalore in the last one week, 4 days to be exact. It had almost started to feel like Kolkata otherwise, weather wise at least. But there is definitely sheer joy in being able to tuck in that bed sheet while sleeping (even if you’re late for office as a consequence) or when the door bangs on and on and on for the breeze (all thanks to Smita’s early morning shifts).

And to end the day with rains and continuous rains. It was just last week or maybe the week before I think, when I was whining about not being able to count rains and enjoy rains and all that jazz but today, this moment, right before Friday when I listen to this song (posted beneath and my current obsessive loop) I want to freeze this moment.

Totally out of content but I suddenly remembered how I had closed all my windows during one such rainy evening during last semester (please tell me you remember THIS at least, nevermind, I  do) because I would have failed otherwise, with my obsessive rain gazing and post rain thinking. Now that I have only thoughts, I have started to love rains more. If only I had a bed side window like I had. Anyway, as I always say, shobar shob hoyna.  

Also WB, Yeh kya kiya? But yes, I was not responsible enough to go cast my vote (I blame poverty though) so I should not ghyan ghyan much. But for the zero contact, zero money, zero advantage people, tough times if you ever planned to shift back.
And the song :)

Dreadful sorry, Clementine.

Khud Hi Toh Hai Hum, Kinaare...

Mother’s Day, 

not exactly saat samundar paar but yeah, 1946 kilometers, distance enough.

I was browsing through the May blogs of the last two years and found nothing on Mother’s day. Maybe I never felt this day like this, before today (and when I say today I mean Saturday) when I woke up with yesterday’s ‘see-what-you’ve-missed’ feelings and then BANG, my middle finger decided to tear itself apart ((and it had to be that finger da). Okay Okay, I made it sound too dramatic but to welcome Mother’s Day with injections all by me self made me realize how much we need people, mother’s to be more specific, around. 

All my Oh-I-can-manage-on-my-own shit almost rattled yesterday after something I have promised not to bring up, and absolutely went down the Hoogly today when I had to go visit the doctor alone (then of course Smita, Nivedita came to my rescue). The roommates rushed to the medical store for initial first aid and I realized how important it is to have people in your life. Lucky are the people who have people who stay irrespective of better options or the perfect people who are the keepers/takers. The living all by myself is not a great idea after all. Ankita and Aritri, for you two too.

And then there was the mother dearest who made sure I eat, made sure I get dressing, made sure I get the tetanus, even though she sits far away and worries away to glory for this and everything that is wrong in my life, which again is, everything.

I would never NEVER dare to be a mother, I would not be that great, I cannot be that great. Plus single motherhood adoption rules. But then, first every eka treatment, check. Such jor kore boro howa and all that jazz apart, manageable stuff, minus the jor!

Okay enough bhaat,
Happy Mother’s Day.
I wish Dida was around for this day and the gifts made her soooper happy.
Also, I think it’s time to delete a number that says ‘Aaaaaaphrika’. The mother would be slightly happy maybe. For now. Ouch my hands! :[  

Also kinare, ‘cause my Pune peeps reminded me of it ^_^
I wish I was a part of the Music festical today, there.

Did I mention I had this most amazing lunch dessert session in the middle of rain on Friday from 4-6pm? So we have this mid tech Park food joint and if you're lucky you will get the seats beside the fountains. And if you are luckier, it'll start to rain, you won't be able to reach back to your tower. Good people, good music, rain, pizza, ice cream. It so made up for the bad Friday start. Kinare...
and the CCD beside will have lanterns that will swing in the rhythm of the breeze and you won't hate Bangalore so much at such evenings. It would be dark and cloudy and clouds would depress you but then...
Kinare.

Friday night.
Rain outside.

And they will make sure.
You know what.

তবু আছি বেশ

অগোছালো এক জীবন ।

বিচ্ছিরি, ছন্নছাড়া  ।।

অগোছালো এ মন ।

বিচ্ছিরি, ছন্নছাড়া ।।

তবু আছি বেশ  ।

কিছুটা ঠেকে ,

কিছুটা শিখে ,

কিছুটা ভিড়ের মধ্যে হারিয়ে ,

কিছুটা একলা বিকেল পেড়িয়ে ।।

তবু আছি বেশ ।

সেই যে 

কথায় আছে না? 

যা হয়, 

মন্দ নয়  ।।

- অভিষিক্তা

That Word

That word,

When you are somewhere in between

Anger and hurt

But won’t say,

You just won’t say.

That word,

When you are somewhere in between

‘Why did you’ and ‘How could you’

But won’t say,

You just won’t say.

The child shifted you to an old age home.

The lover moved out with someone known.

The state of shock,

The face of pride,

The tears that would never be shown.

While the ship, self made, sails away

And you don’t board, ‘cause they had you overthrown.

অভিমান (Obhimaan)

That word,

Which no other language could own.
-Abhishikta

New Spaces Bring New Stories

There is nothing in this world that depress me more than the thought of having to wake up any time before 9 in the morning. So, I happened to be at Bang6 at 7:30 in the morning today. Imagine that! Add that to voluntary Ajax training. Add that to only ASE in a room full of 29 odd SMEs (Subject Matter Expert), all thanks to Abhimanyu’s last minute Mumbai plans. Self-patting moment :P

I realized today why people are so hunky dory about Bang6. It does not feel like Bangalore for one. The 6th floor two buildings wrapped cafeteria is NOTHING like KDC lastfloor cafeteria but most certainly, the best that you can get. Standing at the small bridge adjoining Tower A and C at the 8th floor and looking down at the open air Barista or the mid Park open air CCD which was so empty that it hardly looked like Accenture, or India for that matter. And to walk up to it all alone and have coffee. Self-patting moment, again :P

Oh, did I rant about the Bangalore heat yet? No right? See the adjusting and calm God I’ve become. So finally today, while I was standing at this open air bridge at the top floor (which was all empty because well, people work and I, hate Java and anything that is Java, Ajax here for that matter, so strolling is fine). So there was something between a Kalboishakhi breeze and summer loo which blew up my mind (in a good way). Have I ever told you that nothing in the world makes me as happy as breeze through my hair and face, in the filmiest way? THAT!

Ground floor has rooms hosting GFT kids. This reminded me of my days and how, last year this time with the earthquake, we were getting java cross trained. Ankita G, Raja, Diptarka, Isita- my ultimate four pillars of Java (and Oracle Apps, basic GFT, for that matter) who shed their blood and sweat (like literally) so that I pass. A year later, just one day of Ajax made me miss these people so much. But one good thing, of all that I was and am going through is, I’ve come to good terms with myself. I have actually started to like my company so much that I am very close to becoming unsocial, which is very UN-me (yeah put on Swag).

I took a long walk with one liter Sprite yesterday and finished the entire thing all by myself (yes the heat helped). I was actually at peace at not feeling bad about it, liking it in fact. I knew someone who dreamt of drinking milk straight out of carton to mark independence and some jazz; I somehow understood what it meant yesterday. Anju and Narmada looked in shock later while I went for lunch alone (and did not ask them while they walked towards Breakout for lunch) while Abhimanyu was Mumbai-bound, Anju accompanied me the day next but I actually did not feel bad either ways (ways is it correct English is it? Or is it either way? Somebody please tell! Oh that and also, too much Kannada English has taken a toll on me, my sentence end tone and a pronunciation-a). Never mind.

I remember a few years ago, I was having a very happy Lunch at Mocambo and there was this woman on the table next, with a book, all alone. I felt so bad for her that day, but now, I know it is not bad after all. It’s this sense of peace and contentment at your own company where you do not have to think, please or pretend. Of course it does and would take a toll if practiced for long because I, need to talk. But touchwood I have good people to talk to for now. Titoo commented at my Chocolate Milkshake break last day as ‘Bapre sukhi dupur toh. Sange Bihari partner’ and I corrected him, it was all me myself (by choice). Good bad I do not know.

Smita stays upset these days for issues that made her lonely and she is back to my phase where I believed that you need either your family or boyfriend here, to stay sane at this city. Maa keeps on making me feel old on good days and comforts me on bad days. More on these two later. I wonder why I keep on writing here. A published diary someday? You never know B-)

And this thing that says: ‘New spaces bring new stories’

So voids are good things is it? Apparently

:)

Find Your Beautiful

Here :)

'Bikhre uljhe, tumse kayi zada ziddi, unhe suljhana matt!'
Even if they think it’s ugly, even if he says the photos would be bad.

'Woh badlegi, moody hogi, aur khulke jeene k bohot saare mauke degi. Unhe jeena!'
Even if they say they don’t have your size, even if he does not look too glad.

The two major lines I could relate to in the Radhika Apte viral video. And as she reaches the closing minute and says,

'Ekbar who bhi karna jisse darr lage'

Maybe you are forced (no choice there) to live your darkest fears and you ride on with pride. Not because you have emerged as a warrior, not because you’ve won all battles, but because now, after the permanency of battles, it does not scare you as much.

'Woh din aayega'
Ayega.

3

Kolkata, Ah Calcutta :)

No, I am not going to write yet another homesick tale.

Someone I find extremely smart has recently shifted back to Kolkata after working in Delhi for quite some time. She shared an update recently saying “How do I react when mom shouts on the phone cause I am not home by 10pm?”

I have always volunteered for the I-got-all-the-independence-at-home-too clan whenever I have had debates with people on the Kolkata VS Bangalore topic and trust me; I have had MANY of these debates. No I do not belong to that section of the society where the mother would marry you off at 21 saying “ja ja moja korar biyer por korish”, that does not mean I can come home drunk and the Mommy would not react. But I do come from a household where you tell the mother a week after drinking out with friends and she would roll her eyes with “beshi urishna” and that be it!

Recently (and when I say recently, I mean yesterday) there was a little tiff with the mother because?
“Breakfast kheye ghum ta kon desher niyom?”
“Bikel 5tay kheye snan korte jachhish mane?” and the likes.

I tried explaining this is how it is when you are on your own and I was half afraid because she would start hinting on the million possibilities of not being on my own emotionally, which would lead to finding a partner but no, she kind of gave up the fight. Mainly because I stay so away that she did not want to destroy the distant conversations that we have with arguments. Lately there has been too many of them. Yes I felt bad for her but I was wondering how difficult it is going to be for her to accept the new bad lifestyle that I have now.

That is when I was wondering if these people were right about not wanting to settle back to Kolkata for this ‘independence’ which I do not clearly understand but then. They told me to sort the matter off with monthly visits (yes quite a joke right now when I think twice before eating dinner out two days consecutively). I was almost convinced when Piyadi and Sir also said, Kolkata is great but we are beyond that age and phase where we can live there permanently, or not atleast we hit the 40s.

But then, I get to see this song, and the streets and the places and the lanes and I know, I just know, be it sacrificing on noodle straps or nighters or beer or breakfast for lunch or whatever the heck it is. THIS place is where I want to be. Always! My city of joy!

Although the ‘living life on my own terms at Bangalore’ swag wins over the taunting Kolkata aunties over the already arrived “marriageable age”, the robbarer mangsho and chhader pasher ghorer ghum (but you HAVE to be awake by 10:30am) and Maa and friends and memories and almost everything about it makes up for ALL the sadness that there is/was/would be.

 Bari jabo :(
P.S. Rituparna boddo nyaka :D

Stooping A Little More

Between loving and liberating.
The oneness in between or the ever so obvious gap.

Between wishing and wanting.
The authority of decision making or front end destiny stab.

Between this and all that there could be.

The hairdo that's new, the love that's for few.
For her, for him.
Not for you.
Oh my darling,
Not for you.

-Abhishikta

Tidle Dee Dum, Heart

1. He was just kidding.

2. It was 1st April.

3. Get your visa done.

4. She is very happy.

5. I'm proud of you.

6. 19th/31st of April/October 2013.

7. Long drive pe chal

8. Few days to pujo.

9.  Your holiday is approved.

10. I love you more.

C'est La Vie

1. You Deserve better

2. Let's Remain friends

3. Use Internet Explorer

4. No WiFi Detected

5. Doctor Killed Engineer

6. Relocation Mail Sent

7. You're Not Eligible

8. He Moved On

9. Water Is Over

10. Life Goes On

ক্ষতি নেই মিথ্যে বলায়/ ভালো আছি

Remember those one liners, you do not know how strong you are unless/until being strong is the only option you have. Or something like that. I do not know if surviving= strength. I would like to think it is. I would also like to think the Gods would be fair someday. Someday? Okay so the tales.

Character intro needed? Okay!
Piya was always the heart of the group, “Bachcha” as they called her, actually had the heart of a child. No, she was not stupid but she sincerely lacked the grey mindset. She thought and reacted in binary, either a yes or a no, either full or zero. I have always believed that there is a LOT to learn from this girl.

It was her first anniversary of living away from home, the City of Joy. All of us who had lived and experienced this city, know, how much it can spoil you with its ever so generous self. After a lot of turmoil and ups and downs, she was wondering how much life had changed or has it not? The long weekend that would start all alone, because everyone else was too busy with themselves, appeared all the more gloomy because the love of the life of course was at his indifferent best. Only therapy: watching Queen for the umpteenth time. Because? ‘Ami eka ekai khushi thakbo’. Told you, there’s a lot to learn from this kid.

So,
10:30pm and the lanes and sub lanes of Magarpatta are not exactly the best combo for a young girl, especially when you HAVE to step out of your flat alone to buy a tampon on your second day of menstrual cycle. So why 10:30 and why alone? Because Piya works hard at Pune, travels far, so obviously reaches Magarpatta late, and did not have the luxury of the boyfriend travelling to her from a different city three times a month for company or whatever it is, or the luxury of having roommates (because everyone went home) for company before the long Easter weekend. So, she was all by herself, in her pyjamas and a dupatta of course because, you know, too much testosterone all around at night. Now if you live at Kormangla with friends or at Ballygunge with “friends” and compare the 10:30pm with Magarpatta, well dear reader, IQ how much?

Therefore on the one year completion of being independent literally, at 11pm, she returned to an empty ‘home’ at Magarpatta, with tampon and to the half watched ‘Queen’, after getting it from the shop wali aunty and facing a group of men who probably were wondering what she is carrying or they knew. Not a Nobel winning performance this most certainly but then, now her grandchildren will have one more story to be heard. Well actually, two more.

Character intro needed? You won’t get.

So,
8:30pm on a Friday night at Marathalli. The entire Bangalore either rushes towards Kormangla-IndiraNagar or towards KalyanNagar-Hebbal for the weekend booze dose and Marathalli being the connecting road to both these places, gets ALL the cars that there can be. Now about this part of Bangalore, you must never NEVER wait for cars to stop to cross the road, they won’t. You cross the road when you want and the cars would stop. Clear? Except for Fridays when cars would never stop and road crossing needs you to be flash quick.

So she crossed the left service road, the left main road and was catching her breadth on the central divider before crossing the right main road and right service road on one such Friday night. And? She tripped on the divider right at the right footstep and that very moment God decided to let her live a few days more. Result? The chappal (non-branded from Commercial footpath) got torn and she fell on the divider itself and not on the road.

Now what? Yes, Thank You to the Gods for letting her live but now? Chappal torn and the possibility of limping with the torn chappal on the main road Friday crossing, is like giving away the life that has just been saved, in gift wrap to the Gods. So, the pampered girl who had never known what it is to wear a chappal which does not match the top, threw both the chappals on divider and walked bare foot. Crossed right main road, crossed right service road, got glances, walked alone for 5 minutes right to the Bangalore shelter.

Now if you are extremely used to being picked and dropped in daddy’s car or taxi, or have never worn anything other than branded sandals, you won’t understand my ‘princess’. This again was not a Nobel winning performance but then, to do this and a lot more, ALL by yourself is not as easy as it seems, especially when your confidence has become the size of a half peanut, all thanks to all the buggers you love so dear.

Cheers to? Happy pretensions and Independence :)

And sometimes, rarely, very very rarely, there would be no light at the end of the tunnel. 

Women, now, then and forever.

The sun rises in the east isn’t it? Do we ever debate and question about this? I take it for granted that the reader is a normal person and not high while he/she is reading and hence, the answer to the above two questions are, Yes and No, respectively. So the point being, since it is FACT that the sun rises in the east, it is never debated over, unless the ever so debatable topic, ‘are men and women equal’. The fact that it is discussed and debated over, stands as the testimony to the fact, that they aren’t. Okay, so all the feminists might look at the remark over with raised eye brows, well my dearies, I firmly believe that men and women are not equal, but that does not necessarily mean the one is superior or inferior to the other. Point made? The fact that they are not equal makes them different, but well of course, they deserve equal rights because we are all humans. True :)

One more thing that I want to highlight here is, women do not need special privileges, special rights. Just because we are different and mostly weaker than the men physical strength wise on an average, does not make it a compulsion for us to be treated like wax dolls. We truly do appreciate all the chivalry and love that we get, thank you world, but we certainly we do not need the sympathy that we get at times, for being women. ‘Sympathy is painful’, my senior says and I cannot agree more. I remember how few relatives and family friends of mine gave sympathy to my Mom when my sister was born because of the birth of another daughter, how some of them said they can share few of the troubles that daughter birth will bring, THAT kind of sympathy, we need not. Neither do we need the reservations, to be very honest. We are independent ‘now’ as the initial agenda of the write-up was and since we have all the opportunities, cut the reservation off, reservation is the biggest form of discrimination I believe.  

Talking about women “then, now forever”, the ‘then’ when the Grandmother made sure the fields are ploughed and the children (three daughters mind you) get proper education or the ‘then’ when the mother dared to leave the children in the crèche (two daughters mind you) without listening to the nasty remarks of the world, for work? The ‘now’ when you still carry sanitary napkins in a black plastic because they would stare at you like you’re carrying bomb or the ‘now’ when you would arrange for your own ‘dowry’ because although you are independent, you are girl after all. Reverse progress is it? Or is it the way we want to see, we want to be, irrespective of which age or stage you are in.

Of course we will have fairness cream ads where the groom will reject the girl because of the color, irrespective of how repulsive he looks. Of course the wife will wash the clothes in the washing powder ad even if she is the top model. Of course the fellow passenger will look around when you’re travelling alone and then ‘accidently’ brush his hand over your breasts. Of course your co-workers will give you dirty looks when the boss would praise you over your male colleague. Of course roadside Romeos will ogle at your legs no matter where you are. Of course the only man you have ever loved will leave you one day without any explanation and hold the hand of prettier options. Of course the relatives will judge you if you are 27 or 47 and not married. Of course the society will not understand that your daughter is your daughter even if you have not given birth to her. Of course the in laws will object when you help your parents financially even after wedding. Of course the husband will not understand why you need help with the household chores.

Then, now, forever!

Being a woman is not easy you see?

I remember this Mumbai group posting photos and write ups with hashtag why loiter for obvious reasons and I tried doing the same. It was the same night when I was hooted at by a gang of 20 boys and well, when you have 20:1 ratio, all the heroism behind the write-ups vanish, and there is no shame in acceptance. The long forgotten topic, women, then, now, forever.

The women then were strong, were beautiful, were important. The women now are as strong, beautiful and important. The only difference being, now they have a bigger platform to voice, to express. Take it up ladies, you are forever and always, what you want to be, what you have always been, the creator, the prettiness, and the zeal that keeps everything else together. As the lovely mother who loves, as the chirpy sister to cares, as the silent girlfriend who waits, as the beautiful mistress who takes, as the optimistic friend who encourages, as the seductive muse who inspires, as the 'you' who is just so perfect.

Happy existing, ladies, minus one :) 

Because.

Also, first shower of the year deserved a proper nice post but then, how does anything matter
Also, Titoo, if you're reading, count 1
Also, FUCKta in Marathi means 'only'. Whattay vulgar language!
Also, I wish I could send the picture above the way I wanted to and to
Also, r kotooooo
Because.

Mellow Drama

Tamanna’s wedding night, she looked beautiful and the happiness was radiating through her smile of content at finding a man who loves her way more than she can imagine. Shashank took the guitar on the bashor night  and started playing all the romantic numbers for the couple. Tamanna and Abir, the recently married two, were continuously stealing glances. Abir kept on admiring Tamanna and how perfect she looked on the wedding night, Tamanna was blushing before she looked at me and said, ‘ki bajachhe dekh’.  Getting back to Shashank’s romatic songs, I realized he was playing ‘Bin Tere’.

The same old song that Nihar used to play for Tamanna all though college years. From freshers to fest to singing competition to random song requests, Nihar always sang ‘Bin Tere’ and smiled at Tamanna and Tamanna always knew he sang it for her and meant every word. Then of course seasons changed for whoever’s fault, they parted at whoever’s decision, they moved on for whoever’s benefit, but the song remained.

Many many miles away at Bangalore, the same night, Nihar sang ‘Bin Tere’ again and Priya sat in front. Nihar smiled at Priya while he sang, Priya looked at Nihar and blushed because she knew Nihar sang it for her and meant every word.

And I, just watched. 

Pushpa IS In Tears, Babumoshai!

What a life it is going to be, without getting to hear "chal, badi wali zindagi jite hai"

Jeete hai. Chal?

Not

Damn, the lights.
Dim the lights
Not.

Oh Snap :(

Go Kar Na

Best of all worlds, as I called Gokarna! Which also happened to be one of my most satisfying trips

Taking an overnight bus through Bangalore, on a Friday night, sneaking out of office and somehow reaching Yeshwantpur-a killed N. I’ve never seen the woman so worried, all thanks to her extensive pre tour date and my battery. It was R’s birthday weekend and I had just somehow saved my job so a trip was necessary and sick leave was out of question. The bus arrived, we found washrooms, no hot boys around and thus we started, Go Go GoKara :)

With a very satisfying DCB dinner and extensive non sensical discussions, the night grew deeper, R and Pdi shifted to their coupe and the goodnight ended in the small little place. The man of the group N, fixed it all with an autowala and there we began! Again.

Now there is this thing about Gokarna. If you are a group of enthusiastic bouys please stay in shacks and live your life, if you are group of girls who have very little time and money but want comfort Gokarna could be a tricky place to find staying places. Thanks to Pdi’s teammate and his guidance, we found this super awesome beachside hotel. The name of the beach is Middle Beach and they would call it as ‘Medley’. The crowd is all Russian, these people wake up early and go off to bed by 9-9:30. Our host was extremely happy to see Indian faces because all that you can see here, the Middle Beach, are Russians. Yes boys, yes, it is exactly what you thought. Somehow managing to stop R from sleeping and farting and finishing off with our breakfast in this cute little shack, owned by the hotel, we started off with the auto-wala N had potao-fied to Kudle.

Kudle is a clean and nice beach, there are mostly foreigners (and you will ALWAYS be overdressed) and you are going to love it if you go during an off season. The water is clean and everything around is green. The hippies would smoke weed but you would never find the supplier. Caution: carry whatever you want! The catamaran ride from Kudle is nice and if you’re as lucky as us, you would even find Dolphins in the dark blue water! If you have time and good company, try doing the catamaran ride at the sunset. And if you are as unlucky as us, you won’t get water sports.

There is a trail of Paradise beach, Half moon beach and Om beach which you can of course trek. Carry food, shoes, water and plan your time properly. Otherwise catamaran ride to all these is equally fantastic. One of the most amazing moments of this trip was the jump into the water, half a meter to Paradise beach (an otherwise deserted beach now because of some rape scene as our boatman mentioned).  I have hardly ever felt so alive, all by myself, with so many unknown equally enthusiastic people! We ended our trail at Om Beach.

Now, this Om Beach is called so because it looks like ‘Om’ from high up, which you would get to see because to reach the road from Om is a stairway trek which will make you tired, especially on a sunny day after so much chahal pahal.

We trekked up to the auto stand and had this big fat fight with the auto-walas. Very pissed and thinking of ourselves as god-knows-what, we started walking down the road. Thereafter we realized that there is just one road and Om to Middle beach will take the entire day if we try walking. Going back was also not an option after the kind of fight that we had, no other auto which was coming towards the beach agreed to take us because they were too scared of the auto leader we fought with. The sun was right above our head and I had already started feeling dizzy, the cold water bottle from Namaste and four of us were LOST! R and I were sent to find help, towards Om. I knew it for a fact that I would not bend down, thankfully, an autowala was going home for lunch and he, somehow, agreed to drop us. I still do not know why he agreed and exactly what had happened but yeah, thank goodness! So one small tip for everyone who is visiting this place, avoid heated arguments with the locals. They have string network and they are very very united. No matter who is right, YOU are wrong and you cannot survive without their help, cause it’s a deserted place anyway.

Lunch and raater jonno mach bhaja order, and the initiative was entirely our hotel wala-s later, we jumped into our private beach. Now, I’ve seen a LOT of beach and bathed in LOT but this beach was entirely different. We lied on our front at the shore for I don’t know for how long and I was completely at peace. You can easily swim a little in the water if you go a little inside, however, beshi pakamo merona if you do not know swimming. One thing about Middle Beach is, you will ALWAYS find these Russians doing yoga here and there. But yes, there is hardly any crowd and you can spend hours bathing all by yourself, in the calm waters with occasional waves. We were there till sunset and I have never experienced something more surreal. The tan that you’ll get is another tangent but then, how does it matter.

The evening was for the overhyped Namaste Café, at Om. I was not too keen on visiting Om after what had happened in the day but it was Rs birthday treat so, we started off. Passing village, local market, temple, road, Kudle, the auto-wala would take an empty hilly road with dense trees here and there. This is the same deserted road that we had taken in the morning before we resigned. At night, it looked dangerous. There was not a single person or light. Just one auto-wala and four of us. I had watched Angry Indian Goddesses the night before and the morning fight actually scared me. Goosebumps you’ve felt? I actually had Goosebumps in the last 30minutes of the auto ride when he took us zip zap zoom through the hilly roads, no street light, no human being! Getting down at Om, before this downwards trek to actually reach the beach was this autostand again. The leader we earlier had a fight with was dancing with a bottle of beer with few others over some south Indian song. Without even looking at them we started taking the steps downwards. Now this trek too, had NO light and we kept checking if someone is following us. With Ns super hot dress, I was all the more worried. Finally, the descent ended to Namaste Café which again had glitz and lights and breeze.

Namaste Café is an overhyped place. Thank God we were too broke to stay there. The food was good. N spotted some random group of guys staring at us and we were irritated only to find it was Soham from college trying to be sure if it’s me. We of course requested him to walk us till the auto stand while going during the up trek and he of course agreed and of course disappeared at the time of need, like most men do! No complains, just that we should not have asked him for any favor in the first place. The food was good, a girl was singing and the breeze by the sea was perfect. Our auto wala was sweet enough to wait till we completed our food because he said he just knew we would not be able to make it back. When he reached back up, and I saw him, besideethese drunk Om autowalas with dirty looks, I could hug him in relief. Back to Middle finally!

It was close to 11 and the hotel people had slept off. They said booze is allowed by the beach, they said we could play whatever song we want in the shack. We played songs and danced inside the empty shack. When we got all tired, the owner gave us a guitar and he himself played the Banjo and something else (drums? Check for yourself). He talked of life and love and sea :)

He left soon after and I went aloof with the guitar, N joined later and we had similar love disappointments and tears to shed, which of course, we would not and could not in the daylight for we were scared to disappoint each other. R and Pdi did some heart to heart in some other beach kona. When we all realized that we would not be able to reach up after sometime and it’s too late, room it was.

N of course swore away to glory at A-dada and Pdi did not mind as always. I HAD to demean myself over the phone and so I did. God knows when the night ended and we missed the planned sunrise snan. Checked out after breakfast, visited the temples and local shops, bought happy clothes, bargained, met hippies and Pdi left soon enough. Oh we also pushed our last auto from the dust and dirt after it was down and broke the hind glass. We were left in the shack for the entire afternoon with sea and other travelers who came with their stories till it was time for us to leave at well, 5pm exact!

The return journey was tiring for we had hardly slept in the last 72 hours. N fainted the moment we stepped at Bangalore. However, I was very very pleased with the trip. For the leisure, and the fun, for the sea and the sun. I do not know if it is a place to go with family but with friends, a MUST, especially if you can do without posh hotels and expensive food! You shall find laal maati and temples and hills and sea and high and waves and breeze and pilgrims and foreigners and love and peace, PEACE! :)

रोके ज़माना चाहे, रोके खुदाई

XY.XY.2013
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25.03.2016

Chhotto Teep, Khola Chul, Halka Haashi, Holud Paanjabi, Oh Shohor! Por Por Premer Dudin Tomar. Mone Rekho :)

I do not know if it is good thing or bad when you start to think of your blog post title is ‘Vasant Panchami’ rather than ‘Saraswati Puja’. Or even when after wanting to write something on ‘Promise Day’, all you have is a sigh and go off to sleep.

First Saraswati Pujo that I missed, deserves a mention? Most definitely. Maa shifted the Pujo from my room to ek tola for her arthritis and ‘eka-eka-ami-parbona’. The thakur looked smaller this year. Nobody visited home and Maa went all sad. I have made it a resolution not to ever EVER miss Sarawati Pujo again, even if it costs my kidneys (bad joke? What would you rich people know!).Doddavare! I finally managed onjoli in this land of mixed breeds and horrible traffic, managed to wear yellow (and the gaal looked and are, GOL). The Puja grounds had all Bangalis and when we first heard the montro in Bangla from the crossing, we glee-ed and shouted and attracted Kannada attention. The ground had all Punjabi wale Bangali men (one look that still makes me LOOK at men) and very pretty Saari clad Bangali women, everyone talked in Bangla. There also were babies in dhuti and puchki saari-s for their haate khori. I was so much at peace that for once, I could close my eyes and still feel all Bangali. Add that to BhojoHori Manna and I could die in peace today that moment! I wonder how it must have been back home today? This also marks my second no Saari wala Saraswati Pujo. I can still remember those days when Saraswati Pujo evenings were all about Bihan's singing and Dyutiparna di's dancing at Aunty'r chhad. Or the random jhari. Or that one glimpse of THE one in Saari/Paanjabi. Ekhon shudhu 'mod hobe naki bhai?'. Too bad no? I know! But then, who would have known I would make it to this year Sarawati Pujo? Ei onek! Girl of little demands you see? That also reminds me, my lead said ‘girl kya? Baby hai team ki’ and that took me on a different tangent. Jak. Onek holo you also think no? Anyway.  Onek chubby cheeks too. 

Valentine’s week it was and by the time I post this it is going to be Valentine’s Day already. Forced Amit out of his meeting to get me a Silk on Chocolate Day because I did not have Maa around this time and the thought of buying me a chocolate on Chocolate Day (the only day of the Valentine’s Week I celebrate diligently) is utter depressing.  Tried coloring the entire team in red/pink/white on Friday and Thank You whoever listened to me and wore the colors, even the big boss who very convincingly nodded saying he forgot. So whom did I give little notes and chocolates for Valentine’s Day? The entire bunch of married MEN from the team who were rather amused at my ‘lets-celebrate-valentines’. And of course to my two saviors from GFT, one of whom again, spoils me on Kaju Barfi (Yes, I am very much aware of the gaal conditions right now what these chocolates and barfis are doing, YES).
Also went with Nivedita to this flower shopping for her boyfriend and the entire Bangalore seemed to be in a mood for flowers and chocolates. The place where I stay has these two cake and flower shops right beside and they were filled with couples, and everybody smiled for a change. Even the Multiplex grounds had people loitering around like Kumbh ka Mela (and no, this is not the case on every weekend) in red with red. Last year I decided to buy myself a watch and did. This year the plan was/is of phone because well, my phone is actually dead in all functionalities but then, when you are in such a broke state (have I already mentioned the no hike/ no promotion/salary decrease?), the resolution of gifting oneself something on 14^th could take a toll. And what did I buy for myself this Valentine’s Day?
A 10 rupayee wala lighter. 

Happy Valentine’s Day.
Let there be more of Red and White and Pink =]
P.S. My first ever right at 12 chocolate by ze roomie :)