Oh Orkut :')

Because I have my 'Papa Kehte Hain' moments when I read the old testimonials on Orkut that people wrote for me.
Because I wanted them together at a place (yes because I wanted to show off) since Orkut will probably be away after a while. 
Chhotobela!!!
Peace.
Here they are.

♥ѕυzιє~ι нα∂ α ♥ ♥∂яєαм, α ѕσηg тσ ѕιηg!♥ - Jan 29, 2010

nthng much 2 say...kp d 'tunilyt' of our frndshp burng bryt...[hyt ta dkh dujoner taei bujhbi ki app]...lolls...adios n tequiro..na na ti amo...dts our favrt dscvry...[or hers s...dnt ask me y...c knws!!!...ok nw stop blushing...n stop swring to kill me d nxt tym u c me]....toodles...lubh yu n mish yu...signing of...suziee!!!...

♥ѕυzιє~ι нα∂ α ♥ ♥∂яєαм, α ѕσηg тσ ѕιηg!♥ - Jan 29, 2010

ok...shanti ebar??likchi..phew...ds weirdo literally thrtnd 2 crak ma skull wn i sd writng testis wr an awfully borin job....nw dt ur all goo goo happy happy dt m wrtn 1 4 u...promis nt 2 bunk bio anymr!! :X
k so wt 2 say???ur lyk me...dt kanda sums it all up!!fingr crossin galifying...pointing out ppls faults,laughn out d loudest wn sum1 els mks a mstk in,failin 2 answr evn a sngl qs!!!...hlpn me wn my copy s being scrutinisd!!!...[u knw wt i mn ....all in all a cmplt ;short' package...a huge cmplx wth ds short wrd...bt a huge heart...with loadsa lov!!

'finger crossingly alyk'...(u knw wt i mn...)...i neva guesd wl b such rokin pals...!!!
seems sb n hs free body diagrams or wteva it is initiatd it...fuelld by our commn hatrd 4 hm...n our commn lov 4 rc ...increasingly diffrnt...bt surprisngly similar...presenting to d wrld a whole nw idea of fun,joy,masti n enjomnt...a cmpl nw vrsnd bombshell...abhi...tadaaa...!!!(dat ws d grnd entry)...lols!!!well

RIK Roy - Apr 29, 2009

continued: deep widin......well honestly speakin i dont hv dat much patience....bt she hs a difrent enthu.......its amazin to read thru her blogs.....her ideas....d very originality of dem strucks me...bt oh!!dont u guyz mistek her for a nerd, forgive me .i never meant she was a nerd.....she z rader a verry verrry kul gal,wid lots of attitude,...............n thus accordin to me she z jus a perfect blend of all d qualities dat meks ny1 gr8....she hs it in her to mek it big one day..........best wishes for d glorious tomorow dat awaits u.........

RIK Roy - Apr 29, 2009

hey wold.....dis z d most random testimonial i hv written after a long long tym abt d most random girl (lady??) of d millenium..........mind u i wasn't ever pressurized by her to write it....lyk most of my pals from BSS,(who beg for testimonials)........practically i hv nevr met her,or even talkd to her ......bt we hv chatted on several occasions thru orkut.......n most surprisingly i ws stunnd from d dawn of our camaraderie by her bizarre nature......a cut above d rest ......her writings or even d captions she uses in her profile in orkut z characteristic of d bizarre nature of her personality.........she hs a superb grasp o d english literature....n d main difference between her n ordinary bookworms lyk me z dat we may read a book, leaf thru d pages n after finishin it we chuck dem to b forgotten d rest of d lyf.....bt hello!! she z jus a diffrent unique breed.......she ponders on d topic,delves on d title....n even traces back d source from wich d title hs bin taken....n den starts to excavate wat lies...

♥♥aBHi♥♥ **uNdEr Ur SpElL** - Jan 20, 2009

i gotta knw bout da inner u sinc da late ni8 train convrsatn remmbr???? i luvd dat 1 abhi.....u'v help me a lot.....specilly durin da +2 classes.....neva knw dat ur such a gud persn.....nd alwezzz remmbr 1 thing...well actuly 2 things....1)evn my name s abhi...ha ha ha...nd 2)im a fan of ur poetry........nd no matr wot...evn if u dnt listn 2 rock nd al....just remmbr 1 thing ur a ROCKSTAR...in ya own lil world...nd ur far beta dan many of us...love u.............

♥♥aBHi♥♥ **uNdEr Ur SpElL** - Jan 20, 2009

ahhhh...abhishikata....nw im entitld wid da job 2 wrte a testi bout her...bt lemme tell u abhi...im nt dat gud at it...as much sa u r......okkkk...so wot 2 tell bout di gal....she's got an amaizin prsonality.....friendly 2 da brim....weell,stil sum hrdheads got prob wid u....dunno yyyy.....ahhh just frget it....we r frnds since class 9....arrreeee dat tym u alwez used 2 hang out wid ritwika....wont call her a 'teacher's pet'...bt den she ws popular amngst da teachers so beta 2 call her 'teachr's favrite"....bt den wot i alwez apriciate bout her s dat she's got good taste in books nd muvizzz.....just 1 advic....leave bollywood nd try listenin sum pink floyed nd stuffs.....u'll lyk it abhi im sure....de'v got da best lyrics in da world...........okkk nw takin bout her studis....shes an awsum good student bt alwez denys dat...she evn denys da fact da she s p8y.....wot s dis.....????whn will u strt biliv in ya gud qualits.......jai hok....truly speakin i luv u a lot....

Prerana...here i stand al alone n afraid... - Nov 18, 2008

hmmmm........a very gud friend of mine,mah childhood day's r incomplete without dis hilarious girl's presence...may b we r not close from our nappy days buttt...great friends.many gud n bad memories r dere....specially da GREAT BITING DAY...da day i got bite frm sreya 4 sitting in ur place...marks of dis crazy billi's teeth r still present in mah ryt hand....thnk god i didn't hav to take forteen injection ....... 
abhi was indeed da heart throb of sec A.i dont hav such sharp memories lyk u....so no such memorable yaadein i can remember now..after dat our sec gets changed n our paths of lyf too...i hav nevr thought to get back those happy days....
now i really cherish ur craziness,hatahathi n khimchi fights with satabdi,ur evergreen close up smile showing eight great teeth which reveals purity n youthfulness of ur mind,ur shining two big eyes which is full of creativities...n offcourse ur latest drama of comparing urself with gudu!!.......

Prerana...here i stand al alone n afraid... - Nov 18, 2008

abhi u r really a darling...ur poems r grt....i really luv them..... 
u r a messy kind of a girl with lots of potential to shake da world...so realise ur talent n do da needful.u r saying dat u r not getting a ryt soutmate for u..but i thnk u r not letting neone to come close to u..not one but many r waiting 4 u...take one step n choose da ryt one...... 
buddy!!heaps of thngs i wanna disclose but words r insufficient to express mah feelings 4 u...may god fulfill all ur wishes n u get al da thing u wanna frm lyf.....
luv u SWEETHEART........
so!! atlast i hav written rather re-written a not long but longer testi 4 u...............

Satabdi .... - Nov 13, 2008

...hmmm..well wht 2 say abt abhi..very gd 4rnd of mine..talks a lot..smtimes irrtates me by hr nonstoo talkin..dekhis bangla clss e tor jonne jhar khaboi..she talks abt different topics bt widout a single pause..an allrounder,writes awesome poems both in english n bengali..we bcame 4rnds in class7 bt since dn we r almst doing all d crimes 2gether,whether it is in our english class,physics class or school..a grt GYANDATA..u'l gt absolutely free GYAANS 4rm hr,she does nt even charge 4 hr GREAT GYAANS...mad 4 Srk n vineet..brilliant in studies,a grt 4rnd,..very nice soul..nijeke niye prochur complex especially wid hr hair,whch is nt at all soo bad..lvs hr best 4rnd..amar chasini boudi who is still continuing hr studies r amar chasi vai k sudhu sudu khatache..our calculator of physics class who does all hr calculations widout calculator..in search 4 hr lv bt or kaukei pochndona..n lastly she's mad abt dt kakini..ufff!!!

Lead Guitarist Wanted.Call Amlan 9923531927 - Mar 28, 2008

Crappy Testimonial - Part II 

I am not quite finished talking about her. Well she is kinda too matured for her age. What do they call it in Bengali? Aaahh "okaal pokko". She will read books which are not for her age (go read some fairy tale book). 

She is an avid fan of Rajiv blah blah blah (I dont remember his last name) and armaan (he is a darowaan). She loves to see her heroes cry, thinks they look cute (sadistic pleasure).

I am forgetting something? Oh yeah - she is a pathetic poet. Please do the world a favour and stop writing poems. Your proses are good but the poems suck (honest opinion). And you are just a kid, and these frustating, depressing, life sucking, errrrr( SOS - need synonyms) errrrrr..... , (watevea) they dont quite match you.

And grow up, a 1000 page book is nothing in HS. And then after some days you will laugh at them (conquerors laugh) and look at them in pity. 

Phews and Uuffs,

Noble "Evil" Savage

Lead Guitarist Wanted.Call Amlan 9923531927 - Mar 26, 2008

I anticipate an amlan-buster exam and i am bored and gloomy - these are the circumstances under which i am writing this, so do pardon me if i am a bit acrimonious. 

This gal here is quite smart (i came to know this when she caught me when I tried to copy paste the old testimonial which i wrote her). I hereby certify she is not dumb.

She does not keep her promises. She specifically promised me she wont shout at my gf but then she didnt keep her word. 

She would also badger you to the end of the world for a testimonial (dont quite know why she wants one, cmmon gal)

If you have a tickle in you brain go to Dr. Chakraborty and she will scream the hell out of it (i literally mean it)

She thinks that she wont find her wonderman coz she has a mouth (powered by duracell batterries) that wont stop blabberring and that she is always surrounded by morons. But I am sure that one day you will find your Prince Charming who will like you for what you are.

Phews and uufffs,

Noble "Evil" Savage

Aniket Ghosh - Mar 26, 2008

well.....i guess i hafta write a testimonial for dis beautiful lady....but i cudnt make out wat i shud write abt her...i mean shes so adorable...shes a sweetheart.Shes my orkut frnd...but she seems to understand me so good sometimes i wonder how she does it. But beware of her.....she will use da same dialogues that she hears from you!lolz...

Really Abhishikta...u r a darling to me...one of my really close frnds..a person to whom i can open my heart out!

Raina Dugar - Mar 11, 2008

writing bout her is tough yaar....ok let me think.................................................................................................................thinking..............................................................................................................................................ok....she is one f my oldest n closest frend.her bindaas attitude is wat makes her so spl.v hav had gud times 2geder wich ill never 4get.this gal had a huge crush on PRIYA..N evryday i had 2 listen 2 her endless stories..n ya how can i 4get bout our common likings 4 Abira mam,SRK,etc
remember i was always ur baby in our games..n d fact is dat dis gal will always guide u as a mother..she is famous in skul as govi..v used 2 sit 2geder n never usd 2 listen 2 ny of our tchers..still v were tchers fav..kya din the woh..nwys she is d ultimate frend 1 can hav!!
enjoy life 2 d fullest n remain as u r.God bless!

Sayanee....... love d world as much as u cn - Mar 2, 2008

**** there were many, but she marked her presence b'coz she is of diff. kind, sumthng rare.****

**she is bold & straight forward----- never seen 2 hesitate 2 speak abt wat is in her mind.**

**she is no doubt beautiful.**


**it is quite difficult 2 describe her----talented,skillfull,dedicated, trustworthy.
smart, got a gr8 personality.**


**all i want 2 tell her that------- "I Luv Her"**

dia chakraborty - Feb 28, 2008

avi is the one whu taught me the masti on the other side of the skul life! i still remember that bunking clesses meant 2me sumthing "impossible". but avi,u r the one whu taught me hw 2 njoy life!i donno whether u remember r nt, bt at that time i used 2 b quite upset as i had sum clashes wid one of my best frnds.but u were the one whu forcibly tuk me out!after dat it bcame a part f out shararat! we used 2 make the class diary our xcuse n go out of the class! i used 2 njoy doing that! msing skeleton's class,bhunia's class!!n remember the scolding that i got from m.biswas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!honestly, i"ll never forget the days that we spent together,those stairs where we used 2 sit n njoy,those junior classes where we used2 go n hide!! inshort is a person whu wl b there anytime u need her!a restless kinda gal!!!!!whu njoys life till the end!!whu stays happy n keeps the rest of the people around happy as well :-)

MAD Chatt. - Aug 26, 2007

ATLAST I WRITE U A TESTI!well,many,like me,know that u r a vvvvvvvv.gifted person,so without any frills i'll just write what feel abt ya....so,ahem..here goes...
A: Attractive
B: Bossy(well,quite!) 
H: Hilarious
I: Intelligent(like da writer of this testi!)
S: Serious
H: Hitched 2 a certain E.Chatterjee!!!
I: Introvert's opposite.
K: Knowledge bank
T: Talkative
A: ABHISHIKTA 4 U FOLKS!
Here's wishing u all the success & happiness that u wish 2 seek!The world is all urs girl,go conquer it!!!(ekhanei shesh korchhi,onek matha kathiye tor jonno bhalo kotha likhlaam,aaaaar parchhinaa!tata!)

PIA ROY - Aug 25, 2007

total pagol n gone case i think!!!!! well a perfect mixture of nice heart n beauty!!! yes a gr8 fan rajeev khandelwal too!!!!so keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sampurna feelin blessed... - Aug 24, 2007

shes one of da most chilled out gals of dio and is a freaking fan of her skul and is the mostttttttttttt studious gal i hav ever cum across...shes a fierce friend and wat i lik abt her most is...shes as eccentric as me abt harry potter!

~NiTu~ IN LoVe WiTh RoBpAtT!! - Aug 23, 2007

I have known her for long so i can say many things about her....she is a sweet frnd nd is always on da pretext of cheering others she is one of the nice personality ive ever known via orkut..!she dosent keep anythin in her heart..which is one of the best quality she has.you can tell her anything under the sun, she's a very practical girl,knows exactly what she wants&pretty much gets it.I admire the way she handles difficult situations..always chilled out n relaxed..In short i wanna say,she is a gr8 friend! she knows the value of frndship n she can be ur good frnd forever……All da best for her future n career plans!

~σιη∂яιℓα... ∂ gιяℓ вєнιη∂ ∂ мαѕк...!!~ - Jun 10, 2007

She's smart,crazy,funny but sumtimes stupid!!!Jst kiddin man.Well,i like her a lot n she's really caring.Well,Abhi is witty,lovin n has a relly golden hr8.Dat's she.

Kuntal Chakraborty - Jun 5, 2007

Guria, as I call her, is one of the most sweet-n-naughty kid I have ever seen. I know her since her childhood (She is still a child though she pretends to be a quite matured one) and then onwards she always impressed me a lot through her activities, words and child-like restlessness. She is an intelligent and dutiful girl but having lack of patience. But, I hope that she will acquire it with her growing age. As I already mentioned that, she is still a child although she thinks she is matured enough, even though one thing I must admit that she is ahead of her time.
My suggestion to her is that: be humble, be patient, learn to love studying, analyse the world through your knowledge and you will become a perfect woman.

Anonymous

- Jun 1, 2007

well i hav known her since a long tnme n no matter wat it takes i muct say dat dis gal has da potential of being herself......she's smart,loving,caring,dashing n has a gr8 attitude which tells all abt her.........................she's helpful n her smile is really sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet............da way she talks clearly states dat she is a nice person.................................she's a gr8 frnd n always ready 2 help....................................ya man she has da capability 2 rock up....................................a gr8 gal..............................keep rocking dear............................be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Up@m@-- stp woryng & strt livng - May 14, 2007

ABHISHIKTA u r like water to the earth. I love the way you manage everything esp. bunking classes with SREEMOYEE. Well though u joined our family classs (VIII-B)a bit later but you succeed to make your own esp. place in our heart within a short time. Well even now I remembered when you joined our class for the first time & Mrs. Agarwall was praising you for your good reasults and you were blushing like anything................. Hey all guys out there I just wanna say that this girl is to delicate to handle so take care of her otherwise her friends will kill you................. LOVE YOU A LOT OV TAKE CARE AND TO COME TO ME IF I CAN EVER HELP YOU

Anonymous

- May 9, 2007

hmmm....she's da world's greatest PSYCHO.....but is really vry vry vry sweeeeeet....a chalta phirta radio.....which is always going on & on & on......& does not stop til da battery ends!!!! a real sweetheart & a damn gud gal.....its a pleasure sitting bside her coz i feel tht i'm not da only BANDAR out dere in dio.....ha!ha!ha!ha!ha! she's vry friendly & is KEWL.....so tht's it....r parchi na....gve me a break.....r koto mitthe kotha likhbo?????KEEP ROCKING!!!!! & dont urself coz u'll b da first patient of mine whn i bcum a PSYCHREATIST doctor!!!!!

Anonymous

- May 5, 2007

she is very sweet&cute.she had grt personality,i wish she acheive all good things in life,she is good but not2 good.she is very serious&studious

Shrabasti Bandyopadhyay:-D - Apr 13, 2007

I've known Abhishikta ever since I started school(wow!) and I know for a fact that she's really sweet,and a great person!We don't really get to talk to each other a lot these days other than Biology classes because we're in different sections,but it's always fun hanging around with her!She's intelligent,a moderately good singer and an exceptional painter!Rather likeable,all in all!Can mingle with all sorts of people and talks a lot! Don't hesitate in making friends with her! Hmm..I know this is short,but she really is a wonderful girl!Stay happy

ღ♥ ѕяєєℓєkhα~ вσяη 2 ωιη♥ღ - Apr 8, 2007

what 2 write bout u.....u r coooooollllll,SWEET, CUTE,guy.u can easily make frndshp with any1.ur phto can tell everybody that ur r so cute.

A-ATTENTIVE
B-BEAUTIFUL
H-HEART BROKEN
I-INTELLIGENT
S-SMART
H-HUMOURS
I-IMPRESSIVE
K-KIND HEARTED
T-TALENTED
A-ATTRACTIVE

THATZ enough 4r u.

ßĦĄŁǾ ČĦĘŁæ™ Behind black eyes..... - Mar 26, 2007

well.....i guess i hafta write a testimonial for dis beautiful lady....but i cudnt make out wat i shud write abt her...i mean shes so adorable...shes a sweetheart.Shes my orkut frnd...but she seems to understand me so good sometimes i wonder how she does it. But beware of her.....she will use da same dialogues that she hears from you!lolz...

Really Abhishikta...u r a darling to me...one of my really close frnds..a person to whom i can open my heart out!

Anonymous

- Feb 18, 2007

Well...M very bad @ writin' testimonials...but still,trying.Here goes-
OV is a very sweet girl and very naughty too.She's got really mischievous eyes and is really intelligent.So watch out you guys,here comes d ultimate diogal!!!!!!!!

Ria----"flo@ting str8 obedient 2 stre@m" - Jan 20, 2007

Well my dear frnd Ovi,
Wht can I say about her.Newayz,nething I'll say is less 4 u.U r really vry sweet cute & something like da photo no da left side of ur homepage.Well now no more SWEET THINGS or I'll be suffering 4m Diabetes.Bt really u r vry helpful and er.......er....u always appreciate other,s works.
Well,do u want nemore?U c I won't be able 2 describe jus' withinn dis 1024 words.And Dat's It.

P.S:Plz Plz ,don't try to scream whn u r talking normally.

samraagnie bose- la vie est juste pour moi - Jan 7, 2007

bhagwan se phool mange 2 bagicha diya.pani manga 2 sagar dia. jab dost chahe 2 ye id diya.

Anonymous

- Dec 23, 2006

ov....hm.. she is such a material which is hard to be defined by words... a amxture o silk,cotton, jute and welll .... muslin. an ardent follower of our hindi teacher, she is a charming,studious and a softspoken little girl(mind u keep the opposites) and she has a lot of tallents-she is a real delight in class.... her melodious voice not only touches but pierces our ears and souls... 
puchu, cutie pie... u r rocking...

uuuuuuuuuuggggg .phew......wateva - Dec 21, 2006

okie i have been asked to do d toughest job on earth and dats rtn a testi............and dat also 4 sum1 lk this gal......o.v...ok.mmmmmmmmmm.....to begin with she is ma best frndz and i think dats enough to prove dat she is a good gal.lol..........she is a complete sweetheart who goes crazy actually is crazy............and let me tell ya ppl 1 thng once we were asked by the fevicol company to do an advertisement 4 them..............the reason u also "stick" together.............ov ....i tell u ppl is 1 of ma bst frnd..nerd.......yeah.......unlike me very good in studies......a very good frnd and 1 thng dat v hav in common is dat v both can go on talkin hrs after hrs.........ov .....yeah lemme tell i mr thng she got an special award 4 skippin classes.........ms.ov d gr8.......i was also in d competetion but lost it to her .........lol go ahead u hav a gr8 future ahead of u...........

LACK

A random conversation during early morning/late night at Shantiniketan about men and mothers. Which also proves how paka we are and the lack we have. Also, how much impact our mothers have on us. I have always loved my mother more than anyone else ever but I pray not to have a family life like hers. One of my biggest fears is that my life would exactly be like hers. Not I don’t disrespect hers but neither Maa nor I would be happy if that happens. I was so surprised to find that it was the case with most. Also, one of us is a psychology student who explained the science behind it all. Let me not get into all of that. YOU can of course judge our lack of fun topics during a holiday. Also raise the point of pressure situation that we create. I don't care.

V: Snores

W: I have to do something for my mother. I have seen her suffer so much. She got married so early, love marriage it was and no it is not always the bed of roses. She has had the most demanding in laws and my poor mother, who left her bright future and job opportunities, even today, is not allowed to visit her maternal home because of the disgrace she brought. I see her nurse my terminally bed ridden poor father day after day. He showers his frustration of not being able to work on my mother, not just by words lashes, who now wonders what would have happened if she was not so much in love. I think it is not right to love someone so much and also ever girl must always complete her studies so that she can support herself and family always.

X: It is all in luck you know. My mother has been working since she was 20, married at 26, is extremely well educated, earns more than my father but is not happy. Because? She is just too self sufficient and my father never felt the need to fulfil any of the demands because he thinks she has none. And of course she is a woman. No matter how much she swears by women rights and feminism she always wanted to come home to gifts from the husband.  And my daddy thought she earns well enough to support herself. So you see? Just earning is not the path to happiness. You also need to express your wishes and needs maybe to get what you want. Although it is quite a daunting task for a woman with self respect.

Y: That is absolute bullshit. My mother has always expressed her needs to my father which he very well ignored. Now when you have demands and you are not sufficient enough to fulfil them and neither would your man. That is sad. My mother could find a job as well but my father and his family did not let her. So it is not always about asking and getting. Not getting something even after asking for it, sacrificing your pet nose, can be heartbreaking as well. We somehow are so dependent on these bundle of insensitivities called men that the heart is bound to break. You know why? Because they are their first priorities. We are nowhere. They would probably marry because they need or body or the mother needs a show piece for the society. End of story.

Z: Chol chocolate kheye ghumoi ebar :D

Life Is But A Dream :(

খেলাঘর

খেলাঘর
যা সকল কে  বাধতে বারণ করতাম?
নাকি যা অজান্তেই নিজে বেধে ফেলেছি|
স্বপ্নে কি দেখেছিলাম এক কোটির বাড়ি?
সারি সারি গাড়ি?
তাতো না|
খেলাঘরে ছিল আমার দুটি প্রানের সুখ|
চাইনি লুকোচুরি,
চাইনি ব্যতিক্রমী জীবন,
তবুও হয়ত খুব বেশি ই চেয়েছিলাম
তোমার কাছে|
আর
ঁতোমার কাছে|
তাই খেলাঘর ছিন্নপ্রায়|
আর এক অন্ধকার সূর্যোদয়

Attention Seeking Post N :/

Remember that phrase? ‘A happy woman is a myth’

I can relate to that phrase today day like no one else. Yes I never not seen my mother so happy in a long long time but I am just so depressed. Depression has become a theme and I know you do not have nice things to say about this. I would have said ‘odhiker shomoshsya’ if I would have been in your place as well. These are just the worst days of my life I think. Maybe because when you start to relate all your personal and professional emotions on double ticket, you feel that. You cannot be dual lucky and happy always. I know! And hence all the questions, fear and sadness that I have today and had yesterday and the day before and before that. Yes the last 2 months have been the most painful in all these years and yes I should be happy but I am absolutely morose.

I write this vague post knowing that 2 years from now I would wonder what made me do this drama dose, since this is exactly what happens when I read my old tales of sadness, and laugh at them. Mostly because how petty those issues seem today. I really hope that I feel the same about this issue a few days from now.  I am absolutely in a black mood. The sidelining also is like the icing on the cake. I remember Dadu commenting that all will be well after my birthday as the gift from above which almost was true. ALMOST! Which is a lot small word in this context. A LOT. No I am not thankless. I was just lucky when I had to be but now I think I should have chosen my prayers carefully, very carefully. And then there are also situations when you want and cannot talk, want and cannot listen. Because, of course you are not welcome. Why? Because you don’t deserve to. Because? You just love too much. So? You over burden. Hence? You can look at random stupid serials and cry even at the scene of a fat boy having oily samosa on screen. I do not blame you if you don’t get a word of what I say. I don’t really care to be very honest.

100HAPPYDAYS

I started this thing called 100happydays 5 days ago, hoping to complete it. After 4 days of posting tiny bits of the happy moments from each of the past four days, I quit the game today.

I though the game is about self enlightening and finding happiness in most mundane things. I was THIS close to posting an old happy photo and cheating by saying that is clicked today. However, it was a nice experience.

Also I realised, there cannot be happiness every day. There cannot be sadness as well. There shall be rainbow and the rain and the sun. And you might just choose to love or hate all. That does not change the fact that I want something nice to happen to me soon! 

If you are interested, do try this

Click here

Kitty Tail

A fat cat
Pee-ed where she sat.

-Abhishikta

And no I don't a doctor. I just think this poem is just too cool and has deep situational inner meaning. I am too proud of it now :D
Enjoy. Re-read. Learn. Pass on. Share.
Humko Nobel milega ji

A complementary song as well!

That too. Phoeeeeeeeebeeeeee :*

ছিলনা তার রাশি রাশি মিথ্যে কথায় হাসি,
নাই ছিল রূপ, নাই ছিল মান|
খালি ছিল ছাদের পাশে এক ঘরের বিলাশিতা,
আর ছিল কিছু ভুল, ধুলো পরা গান|

- অভিষিক্তা

অনেক বচ্ছর পর আমার স্কুল না যাওয়া স্বাধীনতা দীবস।

2000

I am in class III and I write with ink pens and at times, I get to use gel pens.  It is a big deal. Till last class we only had pencils. I am not allowed to write with ball point pens because the GK teacher thinks that our handwriting will be hampered with dot pens. Nobody writes with a dot pen but Protiti. She is so cool! She revolts against GK miss and uses dot pens. Wow!

It just appeared to me that gel pens are costlier than ink pens. Sapna mentioned it to me. I just have two gel pens, both Add Gels, the coolest of the lot! I keep one at home and take one at school. Along with two ink pens. It is also the first time that I understand how money matters. I save the Gel Pens for special occasions like the classes with Samantha Miss! How much I like when she praises me.

One day Samantha Miss announces our first term result date. I dress up in my very pretty new floral skirt and go to school with Maa to collect the report card. I have stood first in my class for the last 4 years in all terms; this year would be the same. I will also get to have the BIG cone from Kwality after the result, like every time. Maa would be there after all to bring me home, not the bus kaku like every day. I will also eat the kool and aamshi that all the girls who go home with guardians everyday get to have because they don’t have the bus kaku stopping them. 

I reach up to Samantha Miss, our class teacher and smile a happy smile at her. My floral skirt looks so lovely! She hands the report card to Maa, talks something in accented English, pulls my cheek and we come out of the class. I am just too excited to have the Cone. My first howar instant prize. A cassette from the most recent movie of Shahrukh will come in the evening. Like every time. I am just too happy. Maa tells me 'third hoyechhish' with a smile while we are walking towards the canteen and my heart breaks. It breaks so bad that I refuse to have the ice cream cone that is so rare and loved. I am chocked. I am shocked. I just cannot have the Ice Cream today. I am ashamed. 

My first major heartbreak! 

ভাবতাম একদিন কবি হব।
কি লিখব ভাবিনি।
শুধু জানতাম,
যে কবি হব।
আয়নার সামনে স্পিচ প্রাকটিস,
আর রান্ডম কিছু শব্দ নিয়ে আতলামি,
এই ছিল আমার কবি হবার হাতেখড়ি।
আজ যখন পাচটা শব্দ একসাথে জুড়তে পারিনা,
গড়তে  পারিনা সেই planned জীবন,
খালি মনে হয় সে সব ই ছিল ছেলেমানুষী।
তবুও তো ছিল কিছু
সম্ভব অসম্ভব স্বপ্ন।
আজ স্বপ্ন দেখতেও ভয় লাগে,
বা,
স্বপ্ন দেখার স্বাধীনতা ই বা কোথায়?
আজ তাই ভাবতে দ্বিধা হয়,
যে একদিন কবি হব।

- অভিষিক্তা

When you think of me someday,

Would I be the kid with hidden treasure

Neatly buried at the backyard?

Or would I be the 'boring' old gran

Repeating the same old stories from start?

Would you think of me

Like the nightmare that never lets you sleep?

Or the torn old denim

That you love so deep?

Like a fading morning dream. Fading?

-Abhishikta

The list three trips were to Dongargarh ( I traveled all alone Yay!), Digha and Garpanchakot and they all happened within a few hours after the last exam of 5th, 6th and 7th Semesters and hence I could not do my usual miss-me-if-die-post. So here I am posting and wishing people would miss me if I die on the trip to Shantiniketan partly knowing that I wont die and partly knowing that I will be missed if I die (not missed in the while though).

Going to Pailan had its many drawbacks, one of those is that I have lost the big happy eyed look of wonder at long stretches of fields or at the village village feel because Pailan had it all. Odhiker Shomoshshya? This maybe is the reason for which I was ready to drop the trip a day or two ago for certain reasons without trying to solve them.

Life has not been easy and ideally I should be sitting home studying/ grieving. But then off I go for a weekend trip to the land of red soil knowing that when I come back, the days of Vegetables shall start. And if I dont return (which wont happen), I would come and haunt the Momo wala who HAD to close his shop today and disappoint me THIIIIIIIIIIIIIS much. That does not change the fact that I need a job and I cannot think beyond that these days making the life of everyone around a living hell with my idiosyncrasies. So you people could also forgive me for that if I actually pop off to all of your relief.

Such a drama queen I am. Ok Bye.

A Letter To A 40 year Old Me

Dear old Abhishikta,

I hope you woke up today on a warm and cosy bed with a loving man beside. I hope you love him just as much.

I hope you are not a house wife. If you are, woman, you have failed yourself and your mother. I know for a fact that you cannot be that by choice. Ya Ya Ya I know you have become a housewife for the children, the family and husband who clearly cares not. Damn! You are actually not working? Remember those nights during B-Tech or high school when you were studying and sleeping and studying? Maa took leave from office so that you could just get the princess treatment during the exams? All of that for THIS? So that you could just make others happy just because they favoured you with a married status? Consider yourself dead! I could not be more ashamed of you! And you may not read any further and do the dishwashing instead.

Other than that woman, I hope you are still married. The husband is happy with you? No that is a wrong question. Men can never be happy. They need to inflict their sad nature as guilt. Do you feel miserable? All the time? Awww. The real question is, are you happy with what you have given to your man? If you are not, loosen up a little maybe. Men are fools and they need more care and attention. At 40+, I am sure you will have no more patience to understand this. You would probably not care anymore. That my dear would be wrong. Save the marriage! Give more love and compassion. You love him very much. You can make him love you again as well. Without quitting your job. I know that is possible!

So how does it feel to be in your 40s my dear? Do you have all your teeth intact? Maa told you so many times to brush twice a day remember? Should have listened to her! You dye your hair no with grey hair coming in? Highlight it Purple once will you? You really wanted that done in your youth.  DO you have a car? Your own? Or do you too depend on your husband dearest to drop you on and off to and from places on a daily basis? Get yourself a car! I know you can afford it. Not because you don’t want your husband to drive you, but because in your 20s, you really wanted to have one of your own.

In the last 3 years, I hope there has been atleast one outing each with your mother and inlaws? Go visit them soonest if that is not the case. Do you live in Kolkata? India? No to both? Ah sad! I wish you could change that a little. Try and shift base in the next 10 days. Your Mommy needs you to be in the same city! Country atleast! She has no son to hang around there always remember? And more importantly, you need the city. Wait? Did you just laugh at this point because you are all set and happy abroad? I wish! If that is not the case, my condolence to you and sympathy to Maa.

So how is work? Do you teach at a college? A school? I would be so happy if you would nod to that! Now that you are in your 40s and stuck up with your regular routine, I want to remind you, as a young girl, you really wanted to study at JUDE and eventually teach there, or at DIO so that you could always be in touch with young fresh people and stay young at heart. Now that you are actually doing it after Btech (why do you not have a few more degrees btw? You really wanted more degrees! Get ‘em now! Never too late. Go distance education) I am really relieved. And proud. Or wait, have you dropped that dream and are earning in some MNC? So that you can afford more shopping? Good! As long as you work and not ask the husband for money to buy a bindi packet everytime, I am happy!

I hope you have one child of your own atleast? No? That explains your failing relationship. It’s high time you plan. Or wait! Do you have twins? Awww! Is there a financial and emotional crisis because of that? Oh no! I wish you went a little slow with your decisions. I wish you were a little clear in your head about your future. But trust me, all shall be well. Give it time!

Do you footpath shop still? At times? No? Never? Woman you have become so much like those women you never wanted to be like!  Does your mp3 player or phone (or whatever technology would be in at that time) still have old Hindi and Bangla songs? No? It just has English jhingjhang because that is cool and posh? You just made be very very sad! I hope you dance at trial rooms still? No? Because you are fat and nobody admires you anymore? Get back to 50 kilos. The admirers probably you won’t get anyway but you would have not admired yourself with overall weight beyond 50 when you were young! You used to freak out at 49kgs only Remember you were always worried that since you are so short, if you get around 60-70-80 kilos, you will look like a football? Well you have become one. Change that!   

Have you visited the London Eye yet? No? Because no one else agreed? Because the husband stays away? Because there is not enough money for your fun? Because if you give yourself some time the family would suffer? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? Get to your bank, get all the money and visit that right away! I am so shocked that most of your dreams of younger times have just vanished? And why? Now tell me, do you cook all the three meals of the day? And the house has no maid? Oh No! WHY?! Or wait! Do you have a fixed home? Or is it rented and shall be that way for the next 20 years? Are you happy? I doubt. Did you atleast learn 5 new exciting things in the last 20 years? Ouch! Are you in touch with Shreemoyee? Call her right now! You know she wouldn't. I hope you have attended the college reunions. You really really enjoyed the meetups when you were young.

This letter I am writing to you, because during the Summer and Monsoon of 2014, you had a million dreams and were deeply in love. During that time you were just so unsure about what you do with major love and life decisions. You did not trust men yet had faith. I hope your faith is not ruined. I hope you have successfully conducted a professional and personal life till now and will continue to do so! Don’t be a housewife ever! As a child and teenager, your main fear was that every man will turn you into a submissive housewife cum maid. I hope you have fought. That does not mean I want you to lead a life where nobody expects anything from you and in turn, you would dare not expect anything back. I just hope you are happy. And if you are not, you still have 20 more years before you die (theoretically) to fix things. Wait. I hope you married the man you planned to atleast? With mutual consent. I really really pray that Maa is in good health still. If those two have two YES’, I am sure the rest could be fixed with time and effort.

Atleast get some peace. Nothing more. Noting less.

Love.

A young and unsure You!
All the best!

July 2014

P.S. Do you HAVE  to eat alone at restaurants these days everytime because you don’t have company? Or watch all the sappy movies and cry alone? And you pretend to enjoy that? I know your answer. Thank God for once!

Hairy Tale!

I have always believed that being woman is not easy, specifically so because we spend half of our lives removing hair from various places! Damn. And of course by choice :D

Every time I walk out of the parlour alive after threading, I feel like a reincarnation :D While the didi would say "eto din por ele keno?" (like you don't know why? Like you would give me those puppy cuddles inside every time instead?) Huh. 

And I HATE waxing. HATE! 

I have been wanting to write on this for sooo long and then I find this video and that explains my point and trouble so exactly! And I cannot stop laughing and laughing more :D

Do watch! :D :D :D

The Fault In Our Stars

Watched this heartbreakingly BEAAAAAUTIFUL movie today! Ah! I so wish I had not downloaded that hall version from Torrent last week and sneaked into Wikipedia for the onside story. I also wish I had read the book. But all that does not matter anymore.

There was his monologue by Hazel in the movie that says that the best day of a person (a cancer patient to be more specific) seems like just an ordinary day before the worse days tuck in and the average day that was, suddenly starts to be the best! I am a “shitty” writer and could not transform the beautiful thought to an understandable and deep version, neither could I find the quote/ dialogue online. However, I don’t know about best days, but I do know that today was a perfect day. An average perfect day. A very very average day. Which now when I think, was just perfect!

Quest has been this money sucking machine but thank god they turned the prices down and I could awe at this BIIIIIIG inox! I mean the Quest probably has the biggest INOX of Kolkata and what pretty mats and colours and beautifully aligned chairs. Also, I would also go up to the extent of saying that the Zomato reviews of KFC of Quest are a little misleading. I thought it is better than SCM! Ah. But all of these do not matter again. I watched the most spectacular love story today. I know am exaggerating a LOT and the movie may be over hyped but I LOVED it. The little dialogues which were so powerful that it could make you land in a bundle of puddle. I was so deeply engrossed in the movie and busy handling the blowing nose that comes with the ugly water puddle every time that I did not notice anyone else. I later heard that this guy on the other row had his handkerchief all wet as well. Awww!

About the movie. What should I say. GO WATCH! Not many movies can make me cry when I am watching it with people. This movie has these dialogues that will make you wish to run and give Hazel and Gus the biggest bear hug.

“"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.” 

Oh my God! Imagine a guy saying that to you. I would choke away to death later. Or,

“ I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.”

I wish and hope and pray that never in my life I face a situation like the one in which it was said in the movie. The lines however, I could dedicate right away. “Always”

“"Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.” 

Now this is something I have experienced. Not the promise bit. But the theme. Oh my God! The line is just so amazing in itself. Scary and amazing. Wow.

And I am sure I am missing a few choking dialogues and quotes from the movie. And the ending letter that ends with,“What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers."
I hope too! I hope.

Man! What a beautifully heartbreaking movie. They say tragedy sells best. They are so right. However, you would watch this movie and relate to many portions and yet wish that NONE of those happen to you. There was this very beautiful kiss in the pirated version of the movie which they edited away at Quest. Idiots. But these were many beautiful ones. Like the Anne Frank house one of course. However, this was just beautiful. And Perfect. And heartbreaking.

When I read this a month from now, I am sure I will understand I am doing a little bababari but today, I am just so pleased with a movie and obsessed. After so long. THIS pleased. I would pick anyone by his/her collar and make him/her watch this beauty. I would also soon be downloading and appreciating and clapping again. The star crossed lovers!

*Bows*

*Sobs*

Okay? Okay.

You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world... but you do have some say in who hurts you- John Green

Over time and experience and love, I have started to become this agony aunt. Partly because I am insecure big time and party because maybe I am not a good human being after all.

I part of me dies every time I realise how my lifestyle would be completely different from my mother in the coming years, the life would not quite be different though :/

Midst all these I graduated on the 25^th. One nice day after and before too many not nice days. But heck yes, I am a graduate now! Big deal? It is :)

I have also started to be this desperate begging machine. What is wrong with me? There used to be times when I would be this nasty prefect to juniors and sarcastic bitch to seniors, nose stuck up in air. And today? I beg away to glory forgetting what self respect has ever been.

You always get back what you deserve; you also get back what you give. The god, the bad, the worst! Guess it’s my turn now. And I regret laughing at people about certain things which has been folded back at me by the fate monkey. You folks can have your share of laugh now at my expense.

They don’t even call me to Bangalore.
Now you know what I meant when I said I’ve become an agony aunt?

To be... to be!

St. John's Day! :)

Mr Tambourine Man! Play a song for me.

100 days!!!

It will be all party and happiness in the next 100 days in this part of the world while I probably would be sitting with strangers or alone, eating things that I don’t like and missing everything because. Ah. And the funny part is, nobody else would miss me back during that specific time.

I AM at my pessimistic best since yesterday for various reasons and the things that go on absolutely fuel the mood. It is like the fate monkey throwing the rotten bananas at me.

Nothing, NOTHING depresses me more than rude talks and rejections and here I face both off and on. I was not prepared for this bit of life after college to be very honest. What I imagined was patta from here there everywhere because you feel and are grown up and a graduate (almost) but I see people judging me for my “biyer boyesh” and “chakrir boyesh” at every social gathering I go to and I leave all to the distant future with a smile. I have been recently rejected at an article because I was not good enough at a place which gave me a leetil hope until the denial of course. I have also been endlessly waiting to join the company that still gives me hope, although end September-October will see me crying and complaining. But that is for later. Recently I have also been introduced to the politics that happens professionally and Maa happily told me to learn to shut up and speak when spoken to or need. I mean WHY! Why so much of this and that. Why can I not ping and pang like I always do without the slightest bit of doubt and fear. Why can I not exactly write what my problem is, at this point of time which makes me write this vague shit. I will so break down or break away I swear.

The good things? Little mercies in life? Yesterdays cycle ride back home in rain, fully dreanched through the almost empty lanes, after a long long time, which again freaked Maa out because it is like everyone is suffering from Viral. I also loved the back strokes yesterday where I could see the rain drops falling right on my face ^_^

That counts? For all the nonsense that life is giving me? Am I asking for too much? Maybe.

It is the 21^st of June this year and before I sulk away to glory and forget, last year today was veeeery sweet. I left my specs at a distant graam called Sonarpur during our summer training last year on the 20^th evening and as always, was all sad about it. So, on the 21^st morning the soon-to-go-abroad-man called me to meet, pretty early in the morning, and I thought it was to say bye bye. I was so pleasantly surprised when he handed me the specs back. He went all the way back to Sonarpur early in the morning, sacrificing his morning zzzz, to get my specs, gave it back to me and rushed off to catch his bideshi flight :D
Sweet that was! And I was so touched. Why can I not name him? Because I am supposed to behave in a specific way to please people and I am also supposed to say things keeping in mind how those will affect the future of people and mine. And what not. I am so sick and tired of everything. I so needed a holiday.

That was one 21^st June and today is another. Many things have changed and many did not. The love and care and affection from two people that I get, I should be eternally thankful to the omnipresent for that, yet, I think I deserved a little more. Or, maybe not. The rude talks and word slapsticks atleast could be avoided God? No? Sigh!

Oh and now I remember, today also is the birthday of a girl called Priya Mukherjee who was so smart and cool that I used to totally idolize her back in school :D
Happy Birthday :)
I miss school so much. SOOOOOOOOO much!

Say it because you have Bollywood in your blood.

:D :D :D

Hum Hain Raahi Pyar Ke, Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte

So college is over. What started on the 9^th of August 2010 ended on Monday, the 2^nd of June 2014.

To be very honest, I was NEVER happy about being at Pailan, never happy with what I was studying.  I started off with dreams of being at JUDE and reality took me through auto-bus-bus-auto to Pailan College of Management and Technology every morning for a 12 hour long story. From the professors to infrastructure to placements to fests to fresher’s to farewell, there is not one thing about Pailan that I am proud of, yet, today when I sit back and read the farewell notes that people wrote to me, I cannot stop crying.

Crying? Yes! I do not remember crying when school ended yet school days were the best phase of my life. Back then, when people claimed and promised that nothing would change and ties break not, I believed it that way. Today I know that all of that is nonsense. Yes the ties break not and yes you do meet the selected set of friends, because meeting the specific them is most convenient and not the others, for whichever reason(s), but nothing remains the same. Not one thing. EVER!

Come to think of it, Pailan has taken away from me much much more than whatever it has offered, yet my mind cannot slip away the four years that marked most of the ‘firsts’ of my life. It is not the college that I will miss; the college happily harassed us even on the last exam day but the people and the feeling of being a student. Officially I would be on my own after results are declared in a month or two (passing is required but let me not get into that angle) but in reality, the college ended and today, this moment, I am ‘bekaar’.

People were in tears after the farewell dinner. That is when the feeling of shit-I-won’t-get-to-see-many-of-them-ever slowly started crawling inside. When I reached home late, Maa gushed (not in a nice way :D) about crossing her return-home-by-this-time deadline and when I said ‘ei toh shob shesh’ she said how happy she is that her duty of providing me the basic education is over and of course, that I will not have to go to the distant village every morning. Like really? The phuchkawala was atleast sad about us going and treated us with unlimited phuchkas for Rs.10 each on the last day. Now I even miss sulking and boycotting him for the last 2 years for a petty fight in 3^rd Sem.

I hope to have years ahead that will make me miss these 4 years in a happy way. The terms and equations will change and that is part of life. In today’s world, being in touch is no big a deal. Still, one little corner of my heart is heavy today. Choked. Who knew?  We experienced two KKR wins and a World Cup win in the mean time too! PJ? Well. Errr :P

Like and unlike many, I did not mind going to Pailan. Was lucky to find good people around. Won’t name them because I am sure to miss out on a few names and years later, like when I am 80 and doing a little jig and woofing with arthritis, when I read this, I would not want to remember how I felt for anyone with any wrong impression. If we talk of memories, I will again miss out on many! Am sure to meet many of the friends and acquaintances in future but the sad part is, I would never meet them all of them together, at one place.  I know I am just going on but I just feel bad right now and nothing helps more than writing.

Because a bit of me still lives at those classrooms with red walls, the intentionally broken tables, unintentionally broken tube lights, the cemented seat at Ganja pukur, cafeteria beside the septic tank, Lipton stall and overpriced food, the chhad, jol bhora roads, haat, the long stretch of open land and Bollywood road from PCMT to PSIS to World School, the stone chips which were the hotspot in winter. A part of me would forever be ashamed of ranking 42369 and the other part of me hates the first day as a graduate (almost).Because a part of me will always be fighting with the teachers for not letting us sit together for internals, having ‘phau’ phuchkas at Selim’s, planning to run away without paying for the cold drink at Suresh da's, setting up horrendous outings, asking about nit grits, standing at the no uniform line and slipping away with weird names at the register, doing extensive PNPC about every possible person, falling in love at random graphs, admiring the buzzing rehearsal rooms, hiding the 29 cards at the sight of techers (read BG), sulking about the college at the college. Because THAT long U shaped corridor, THESE friends, THOSE long bus rides, THIS orange white and blue building is mine. And shall forever be.

Batch of 2010-2014

Thank You. It’s been an honour.

Fare Well